I'm 6'3", 255 lbs. This one is the one I ride most - best riding bike I have ever had. All my bikes have old lugged steel frames ranging from 1965ish to 1982ish. This one and one other run Campy 10sp triple drivetrains, two run Eroica-Compliant but not period-correct stuff, and one (my commute/town bike) has Shimano 9sp triple. I will use either 32 or 36 spoke wheels. Depending on frame clearances, my tire choices run from 25mm to 32mm, and I am a fan of Continental 5000s (and 4000s before them). My favorite wheel set-up is Campy 10sp Record or Chorus hubs laced to Mavic Open Pro rims. (And yes, I prefer butted spokes - they break less frequently that straight-gauge spokes.) They work well for me, and I don't baby them, although I do pay pretty close attention to the road and avoid potholes, cracks, rocks, etc. as much as conditions allow.
I like but do not demand thicker-walled tubing (SP or SPX is great for me) and won't ride uber-thin-walled tubing (SL/SLX is okay, 753 is not), almost entirely because of frame whip and only a teeny-tiny bit because of fear of frame failure. I will not ride wheels with fewer than 32 spokes. Other than that, I do not make special considerations for my size and do not have unusual problems with my bikes. This stuff is generally a good amount stronger than manufacturers want to say out loud.