Floor pump for Presta valves?
Presta valves are garbage. Utter crap. I'm never getting anywhere near one again. And then I'm never locking my bike to a public rack, to prevent it from catching Presta valves from the bikes around it.
That said, my new touring bike has Presta valves. (Because I was innocent.) Which means, among other things, that I suddenly need a new floor pump.
So, can anybody suggest a floor pump that actually works on this European crap? By that I mean, it seals quickly, easily, and completely to the valve, without my having to sweat and grunt and force for fifteen minutes; doesn't snap off that darling little valve stem; pumps air into the tire; pumps more air into the tire than it lets out of the tire; and finally, releases from the valve quickly and easily, requiring less effort than it takes to bang the back of my hand so hard against the spokes that I can't close my fingers for a week.
Because my current pump, which pumps American valves without drama, can't do any of those things.
Related question: could there be, somewhere on the planet, a pump with a Presta valve head that actually screws on to the stem, using threads such as screws (and Presta stems) have, rather than jamming and cramming and forcing and pounding? Because such futuristic technology would probably solve most of the above problems.
Finally: it would be great if the theoretical pump cost less than a new set of wheels. If you get my drift.