The one glimmer of hope is that whatever the bikes were scanned as, I know the correct labels were on the box. Since there were two I ensured the correct label went on each. Would UPS deliver a bike box to the wrong address with the correct address on the label? If not, that leaves two scenarios:
1: A UPS worker stole the boxes
2: UPS is still in possession of the bikes
I still want to speak to UPS, but I've been unable to get through to a live person off their automated system after my initial conversation.