'Cause when I first started cycling, every ride was uphill and against the wind both ways, and we had to use heavy steel frames with only one bottle cage, and we had to use itchy wool jerseys, and we had to glue on our tires, and we know who Eddy Merckx is, and we had non-indexed downtube shift levers, and had to endure clammy leather chamois, and had to nail our cleats into our shoes, and had only ten gears, and had to loosen and tighten our toe straps at every stoplight, and had no EPO,.....