Yeah, the 30 year old me was a monster. The 58 year old me is chicken... I fell away from cycling 20 plus years ago. Yeah, I rode here and there but nothing serious. Until my left knee replacement Nov 2010. Then I started on the indoor trainer, and worked up to outdoors. But, in Aug of 2011, I crashed BAD on my bike. Broke my back, messed up my neck, massive concussion. And FEAR. Lots of fear. No doubt I wanted to ride again. But it took me 3 years to get on a bike. And that bike was a gift at a time I needed a push. But I'd gained a lot of weight and just didn't have the drive, and yes, that FEAR...
Three years ago I got the crap scared out of me. My cardiologist put the fear in my. I was nursing a bad ankle, and the other knee was failing, I couldn't exercise enough to correct 3 problems fast enough. So I had weight loss surgery. And the cardiologist put me in her cardiac rehab program. That got me going again with the bike. Admittedly, more on the trainer than outdoors. I got a reward bike for 140 pounds lost... And that was a great experience. Still had the fear, and I just learned to ride through it sometimes. Other times, not so much... I slowed down for the winter of 2019/2020. And then Covid... I lost ALLLLLL motivation.
Last October, I had my right knee replaced. It was either the knee had to be done, or the ankle needed to be fused. I didn't know which to do first. Ankle guy wouldn't touch the ankle till I got the knee done, which settled that problem. Knee is 7 months old, and fantastic. I've had great luck with both. Same surgeon for both as well.
Last month I made a concerted effort to get back on the indoor bike. Zwift had their "Tour of Watopia", and seemed just the motivator I needed. I got through it. And I struggled a few times. But I can't say I ever doubted myself. This past weekend I got out on one of my old MTBs. Rode with my 10 year old Granddaughter. I realized a couple things. The Vetta Gel saddle on that old Trek 7000, is a bad impersonation of a rock. And, how did we ride trails on hard bikes? I love my front suspension 29er... I guess the old bikes were good for their time. I also realized my Granddaughter is growing faster than her father did, so it seems. I need to ride more.
I guess my suggestion is, ride as you can within your limits. Doubt can be managed easier than fear. And indoor bike is a poor replacement for outdoors, but sometimes, is the better option.