"Wear what you want" results in:
- flapping club-fit Boomer joke/Michelob/Cookie Monster/"1997 RAGBRAI" jerseys
- non-bib shorts with garish graphics on the side panels worn until they are transparent with a hefty dose of (preferably hairy) lower back showing
- helmet mirrors
- generic bug eye Tifosi glasses from 2004
- no-show socks
From there it's but a short jump to the hard stuff:
- not firing up Strava on every ride
- growing a steel grey cop-style mustache
- allowing sticky Gatorade residue to build up on your bottom bracket
- swaying seat bags
- unraveling bar tape in a neon color that sorta-matches-but-not-quite the neon logos on your 2009 Felt with three inches of spacers and a drivetrain entirely black with dirt and grease
Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.
Last edited by Hiro11; 08-17-21 at 03:34 PM.