Shoulder surgery has become a specialty. Shoulder surgeons do shoulder surgery and nothing else. And they are really good at it.
Normal protocol in non-emergency cases is physical therapy under supervision of the surgeon before any decision about cutting or not cutting.
Your current doctor has some reason for not referring this case to the specialist. From here not possible to tell if that is a good reason or a bad reason. If “too young” is the only reason get another doc.
Soft tissue imaging does not work well for shoulders. Very normal for the surgeon to get inside and see more and different damage than what was expected. But they do not much do exploratory arthroscopy just because. The protocol is doctor’s exam and then PT. PT fails and then the knife. Occasionally PT works miracles.
This one sounds painful and there is no reason to expect it gets better by itself.
Your idea to try Northroads handlebars (Raleigh style) sounds good. Try it once. If it doesn’t help do not ride in pain.