If you are dead set on giving up tubeless tires, then I use Conti GP 5000's. Though they scored lower for puncture resistance on BRR than other tires I've used, they've been puncture free on my bikes.
Most of your OP came off more as a rant than a request for help. At least to me. But realize there are many people that have no issues with tubeless tires, fixing them on the side of the road or seating the beads. You just need to accept the fact they aren't tubed tires and you need to learn new things and develop some new skills.
I can't change auto tires, so why do you think auto tire experience qualifies you for bike tires?