I’m experienced, and I have had cassette retainers come loose when not using a torque wrench. Use the torque wrench - there is no downside, engineers have figured it out.
I don’t use a torque wrench for most fasteners, just the critical ones. If they took the time to mark it, I use the spec. When I install a threadless headset, if I don’t torque it, it gets loose. If I use the torque wrench, I get it right the first time.
BTW, most of us are over-tightening pedals.
In this thread, I have seen various justifications for not using a torque wrench. The real reasons might be not owning one, laziness, impatience, habit or pride. None of these are good reasons.
Where OP ran into trouble was the inherent clicking of this fastener, and is quite understandable. One trick I use is this: I wrap a bare hand around the head of the torque wrench, so I can feel when the tool clicks, rather than the retaining nut clicking. And note, recommended procedures are still the best way. Your blanket statement against correct procedures was meant as a joke, but it’s not a good idea.
Also, if you’re not sure if the wrench has clicked, loosen and restart the operation.
i think the advice to just use the wheel as it is, is good advice in most situations. But if I were about to start a major tour, I’d remove and replace it now, rather than risking a failure on the road. Worst case is you’d have to replace the cassette too.