Originally Posted by FBinNY

Here's my nickel's worth (used to be 2 cents before inflation)

The rider weight consideration is highly overblown. Riding style and road conditions are far more significant. BITD I used to build very durable wheels for tandems and loaded touring (also loaded touring tandems using the light rims of the era and 14/16g double butted spokes. These wheels would last many thousands of miles without spoke breakage, and usually die from other causes.

The arguments about strength are somewhat pointless because what we want isn't stength per se, it's toughness and durability which are different animals. Double butted spokes, properly tensioned within working range and stress relieved, will build very tough, durable wheels suited for all but the morbidly obese. Ironically, selectively going lighter can end up building a tougher wheel, ie. using fewer or thinner spokes on the left so they can be tensioned to working range without overtensioning those on the right.

Before my hiatus from BF I often mentioned that within my circle I knew gorillas who NEVER had wheel issues, and ballerinas (one literally) who were death on their wheels.

To the OP ---- there's more than one way to make lasagna, and you can and should be comfortable with your decision. Keep the MILs in the back seat, and put up a partition if necessary for your mental health.