Hello...
Good post. Struck some notes for me. I am not in your position, but I have been in past and understand it. I will say this. Wellness is circular. The more you are the more you want to be, the more you are.
The motivation I find when I do not want to go for a ride or a swim (and soon the "R"-word) is that that is precisely the moment I NEED to go. And coming off it I always feel so much better than when I went out. It is simply science/fact that exercise makes you feel better both mentally and physically. Push through the lack of motivation. Let that itself be the motivation and eventually you will condition yourself to go when you most need it.
Cleaning house and brushing teeth will follow.
I love the bike. You are a pretty good wrench it seems. An observation here. I tend to have both a strong left brain and strong right brain. Almost everything I do leads me eventually to the technical side. Photography is an art. Yet it is also strongly technical. Love that kind of stuff.
I love to ride; but I also love to wrench. It keep me interested and it is a treat for me and adds to my motivation and interest in this sport. Feed that in yourself. Find a way to make some money at it if you can, or just enjoy it. Find bikes that people leave for the taking, clean them up and sell them or give them away to the right people/organizations. Sometimes taking care of others is the best motivation to take care of yourself. Anyway, you have a talent. Develop that in a way you see fit. This will bring purpose to what you are doing.
You are very self aware. That is a rare and it is a good thing. Use it. Be kind to yourself... get on that bike and ride...
Best wishes,
woof!