Paul Barnard

As I peruse the thread titles here, it occurs to me that we don't delve deeply into serious topics often enough. The shape of chain rings, kit fit, tires and sun, blah blah blah, ad infinitum.

I was riding with a girlfriend a while back. I developed a gas bubble that urgently needed to be vented. Without hesitation, I lifted the right cheek and let 'er rip. It was muffled but audible. Cheryl was shocked. "You hike a cheek to fart?" she gasped.

I had never thought about it before. It just seemed natural. Then I started paying attention. On the bike I always hike the right. There are two reasons. The first is that with the padding kinda packed up in there, it feels like there's too much pressure while seated to let a good one loose. The second is that it feels like I have a little more control over that check valve that keeps farts dry when I can lift and clench a little. Cheryl insists that hiking is completely wrong.

Am I doing it right or wrong?

Mojo31

Depends on if you are riding with your girlfriend, Cheryl.

What does your wife say?

hose

you're supposed to ***** yourself.

Troul 

Doing the aero lean fools the power meter thinking you just mashed out a heavy load of watts.
lifting up any cheek tends to add drag & stops the pedaling.

Ironfish653

Having to hike a cheek means you are enlisting your glutes and hamstrings in the process of “pressure relief.
This tells me you have a weak pelvic floor; put some effort into training your adductors/abductors and do some kegels. Over time, you’ll find you will be able to achieve a much more progressive pressure adjustment.

Also, if your chamois is “packed up in there,” you might need a flatter saddle profile.

CAT7RDR

Cutout saddles are best for this predicament.
Slide forward to maximize your release area.
No lifting required.

Glad I could contribute in a meaningful way.

Paul Barnard

This is the kind of thoughtful content I was hoping to generate. I ride seats with large relief channels. I am going to try this, though I am a bit concerned that it doesn't address the check valve issue.

Troul 

quit farting around & go do it.
Sharts happen. Do it loud & proud!

Broctoon

The most important thing is to ensure your derriere's phase discrimination (solid/liquid/gas) is fully functional. The decision to employ a cheek lift and right vs. left side preference are matters of personal taste. If a phase discrimination error occurs (colloquially termed a "shart"), this is a whole separate topic, and protocols for dealing with this situation are too complex to effectively discuss here.

Really glad you've brought a serious tone to the general cycling forum.

skidder

Clarification needed: Was this on a tandem bicycle? If it was, were you the stoker?

Bogey Speedwell

Sounds like this may be a persistent issue……I do hope your purchasing carbon credits to offset your methane production…..

Paul Barnard

Nope, on the tandem I get into that downhill tuck position.

SurferRosa

Wrong. The question mark goes inside the quote.

Paul Barnard

LOLOLOL. I actually had it there first and moved it. And to think I minored in English writing.

CAT7RDR

Perhaps the OP questioned whether she gasped her last breath?

indyfabz

Pretty soon someone will inform us that your flatulence is the result of staring at your front wheel because you’re riding a DF bike.

rsbob 

This ‘episode’ reminds me of the Jato Rocket Car https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin1995-04.html

krakhaus 

I can't seem to rip one when I'm in the saddle. I need to give it a half-sprint out of the saddle with a slight pause thrown in.

Chuck M 

Cheryl must be a long term girlfriend. I waited until after our first wedding anniversary to bust ass in front of my bride.

Troul 

have to put it in the prenup for the bride to be in accepting of the fart exposure. Going a year without lettin er rip is a long time to be flexing the sphincter & puborectalis muscles. Now if you happen to have a Taco Bell consumption problem.... all bets are off.

Paul Barnard

You get it. It's just not possible to loose a gratifying blast with full seat contact.

Paul Barnard

Is that the scientific name for the check valve?

Rogerogeroge

If the girlfriend is wearing adult diapers then I would stick with the wife.

ofajen

You could add a poll, but I think it would clearly favor hiking over not hiking.

Otto

indyfabz

I wish I got $200 every time I pass gas. See what I did there?