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Retirement and mental health

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Retirement and mental health

Old 03-19-22, 05:37 PM
  #26  
curbtender
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Stealing this from another thread, but if it fits. Really, what you are dealing with is the wisdom of life. Forgive yourself for not knowing better and hope you can pass on your experience to someone in need.
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Old 03-19-22, 07:47 PM
  #27  
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Need info

I will read through the threads later. On your original post, you said you quite your job and parking cars.
Are you able to retire , or did you decide you couldn't keep the same job?
If you are retiring from work now is the best time to do something that you always wanted to do.. Hobbies, classes, meet up groups, charity work etc.
If you still need to work i suggest you don't keep this job any longer than necessary.
as far as the past. I was king of looking back . Very bad to do that. You can't ride your bike looking backwards . You only need that if you changing a lane etc. The rest of the time you scan forward that's where your focus needs to be. Looking back only good that could be is to realize what you don't want and work towards what you do want. Another advice I can offer is don't beat up on yourself about mistakes. Just be in the moment and appreciate the good you have and the experience you have.
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Old 03-20-22, 12:06 PM
  #28  
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Providing an update here. Journaling is very productive for me. I found a strange podcast on journaling a few days back and it really set me on the right path to getting the most out of it. I start off with asking questions and answer them as I ask them. A question builds upon the questions before it. One comment was that this is essentially how psychotherapy works.
As for guitar I picked up a used Ibanez acoustic on the cheap. An amazing box that plays so effortlessly. Great action without any adjustments needed. Haven't played alongside anyone since 1982 and don't think I ever will again. Just like making music of my own as it relaxes me.
As for the job, I don't need it as I can retire right now at the same income level as I had when working. I simply like to have something to do all day. Now when I reach 65 then I will go part time as life expectancy in my family is relatively short typically done by age 77 at the most.
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Old 03-20-22, 05:53 PM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by Polaris OBark View Post
Never drag the girl of your dreams to what you perceive to be the dream job.
if she's really your dream girl, she'll come on her own
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Old 03-20-22, 05:56 PM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero View Post
Providing an update here. Journaling is very productive for me. As for the job, I don't need it as I can retire right now at the same income level as I had when working. I simply like to have something to do all day. Now when I reach 65 then I will go part time as life expectancy in my family is relatively short typically done by age 77 at the most.
a lot can happen in a decade, but looking at your last? that's sobering. here's to you mate!
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Old 04-01-22, 04:59 AM
  #31  
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Runrunn6, I don't really think of it as the last decade, I look at it as a flight deck and I'm going through pre-flight checks. My faith in God affords me a different perspective, that's all.
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Old 04-01-22, 06:38 AM
  #32  
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Life is a crap shoot. We all make mistakes but if we could go back and change anything then everything subsequent in our lives would change. Perhaps not for the better. So I'm happy enough to play the cards I've been dealt.
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Old 04-01-22, 08:04 AM
  #33  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero View Post
... I have a lot of time to think and reflect. The past two weeks I have been giving thought to my past and some of the life shaping events that occurred and how I so desperately want to go back in time and change my reactions and the things I said. In a way, rewrite the chapters.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome.
With an introspective person that's willing to learn and grow, I think that's a common thing. Learning from past experiences can be one of the best ways of finding alternatives and improving on them. Learning from past "bad" experiences and "failures" ... even more so, depending.

So long as it's not hanging you up and saddling you with deep regrets, and it isn't in an "Oh, me! Oh, my!" manner ... I think it's healthy and reasonable to expect.
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Old 04-23-22, 05:28 AM
  #34  
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You work to live not live to work. Now you have all the time in the world to do what you want but men often have a difficult time retiring. My grandpa has very nice retirement without any health issues. My grandmo though has some serious neurological issues so we are looking for a good clinic for here through https://bookinghealth.com/disease/ne...rehabilitation. Wish everyone be healthy

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Old 04-24-22, 08:20 AM
  #35  
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I think one of the things that you have to be willing to accept and understand is that any change is going to take time. Don't expect to go from your current state into one of retirement bliss overnight. Just the act of trying different things is in itself a step forward, realize that. We all move forward and find our direction at different speeds.
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Old 04-27-22, 05:54 PM
  #36  
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There's a sign up in my local college gym facility, "fear regret more than failure." I get where they are going but I doubt our prehistoric ancestors would have survived very long with an attitude like that. I mean, those who said "I don't want to regret not taking on this Sabre tooth tiger with my bare hands, even if I fail at the task" didn't leave behind much of a gene pool.

What I'm getting at is that humans survive in part because we have a capacity to regret. I once saw a documentary which featured a man who, following a kind of brain fever, for lack of proper medical term, didn't seem to feel any regret over mistakes. It sounds like a blissful life and perhaps it is/was, but his career was over as was his marriage.
So regret is built into us if we are healthy. This indicates that we are in fact designed to make mistakes, since if you don't make mistakes, you never feel regret.

Regret is part of the dynamic of being successfully alive. The challenge is find a way to have regret become your inspiration and not your jailer. Best of luck.
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Old 04-27-22, 06:34 PM
  #37  
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Originally Posted by TiHabanero View Post
I have not retired from the work world, however this past fall I did retire from responsibility. I quit working in a high stress environment and took a zero stress job parking cars 40 hours a week. I work by myself all day and don't have to answer to anyone other than me. There are zero demands on my time and my brain. The big deal is that I no longer work 6 days a week as I have done for the past 40 years, and only work 5 days straight with two day weekends off.
An odd thing has popped up and I am wondering if those on this forum that are retired have experienced something similar. During the day I have my time to myself and the same goes after work and on weekends. I no longer do research into latest trends in tech or management so I have a lot of time to think and reflect. The past two weeks I have been giving thought to my past and some of the life shaping events that occurred and how I so desperately want to go back in time and change my reactions and the things I said. In a way, rewrite the chapters.
Sometimes it feels like I regret what happened, other times it is a desire for a different outcome. Its as if now that my mind is not preoccupied with work, it is reliving the past. Have others gone through this?
i'm many years away from it, but i can speak from family experience to the fact that retirement is one of the most stressful periods of life. many of us spend our adult lives shaping and adapting to a career that defines us, maybe get important and successful and have tons of people who care what we're doing, contribute to our work, etc etc etc, fill many of our free waking moments with thoughts and actions about work... and then poof!

it will take you some time to adjust and find new pursuits. recollecting and learning from the past is great, but as many others have said, you can't change it.
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Old 04-28-22, 11:13 AM
  #38  
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Originally Posted by mschwett View Post
i'm many years away from it, but i can speak from family experience to the fact that retirement is one of the most stressful periods of life. many of us spend our adult lives shaping and adapting to a career that defines us, maybe get important and successful and have tons of people who care what we're doing, contribute to our work, etc etc etc, fill many of our free waking moments with thoughts and actions about work... and then poof!

it will take you some time to adjust and find new pursuits. recollecting and learning from the past is great, but as many others have said, you can't change it.
Hmm, Iím 25 years away from it after 30 enjoyable, successful years in mid-level management, with a lot of international travel and I, to my surprise, havenít missed it for a second. More time with wife and friends, a lot of powered boating/cruising earlier and now more into tandeming. 81 years young!
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Old 04-28-22, 12:37 PM
  #39  
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I'm seriously considering it. We'll be empty nesters soon. And there are some causes I'm passionate about that could use my skills and experience. It would be nice to be able to do so without having to worry about how much they'll pay (if at all).
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Old 04-29-22, 09:58 AM
  #40  
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Originally Posted by mschwett View Post
i'm many years away from it, but i can speak from family experience to the fact that retirement is one of the most stressful periods of life
This was not my experience. I retired 3 years ago and the stress and anxiety of work melted away almost immediately. I hated working and hated the stress of being a couple paychecks away from poverty and possibly homelessness. I worked for 50 years and there were times when I couldn't see any way out and this was depressing.

At some point in my 60s I figured I would be able to live on SS and the relief was amazing. As soon as I turned 65 and was eligible for Medicare I was out of there. I might have stayed longer if they had started making offers to me sooner but by the time they figured out they needed me I had made up my mind.

I was a car mechanic, actually a driveability technician, at Chevrolet dealers. Commission pay, on my feet all day, outside in 100 degree weather, high stress, competing with men half my age, at least 10 cars per day...you get the picture.

I love being retired partly because I love being at home. Also love being able to ride whenever I want.
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Old 04-29-22, 11:26 AM
  #41  
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My mom told me, "If you have a project you want to get done, do it before you retire because you won't have time afterwards." IME she was right. Busy, busy, busy.
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Old 04-29-22, 11:37 AM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by big john View Post
This was not my experience. I retired 3 years ago and the stress and anxiety of work melted away almost immediately. I hated working and hated the stress of being a couple paychecks away from poverty and possibly homelessness. I worked for 50 years and there were times when I couldn't see any way out and this was depressing.

At some point in my 60s I figured I would be able to live on SS and the relief was amazing. As soon as I turned 65 and was eligible for Medicare I was out of there. I might have stayed longer if they had started making offers to me sooner but by the time they figured out they needed me I had made up my mind.

I was a car mechanic, actually a driveability technician, at Chevrolet dealers. Commission pay, on my feet all day, outside in 100 degree weather, high stress, competing with men half my age, at least 10 cars per day...you get the picture.

I love being retired partly because I love being at home. Also love being able to ride whenever I want.
that's fair, everyone has a different mental outlook and work may be a positive or negative factor for a million different reasons. it's definitely a big change for most people to go from full time to not, and change can be hard.
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Old 04-29-22, 01:09 PM
  #43  
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Originally Posted by mschwett View Post
that's fair, everyone has a different mental outlook and work may be a positive or negative factor for a million different reasons. it's definitely a big change for most people to go from full time to not, and change can be hard.
Yes, many of the people I know have jobs/careers that they like. Some I have known even get bored and go back to work in some fashion. I've thought about it, then I stop thinking. It sucks not having any money left over each month but I am happy that so far I have not incurred any expenses that I couldn't handle without raiding my meager savings.

Really, I'm quite pleased with retirement so far.
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Old 04-29-22, 02:28 PM
  #44  
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Most of the stress of my full-time job was not exactly job-related, it was all the other crap like utilization ratios and performance reviews and effective labor multipliers and proposals and office politics. I went part time at age 59 with a new company and now I just do whatever they give me - not always engaging tasks, but mostly enjoyable. And when the boss starts talking about how many more hours the office did last year than this year, or when people can schedule their vacations, I just kick back and say "not my problem".

Less (but enough) money, more time off... far more mental health.
And I know now that I could resign whenever I wanted to and still be fine.
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Old 04-30-22, 03:52 AM
  #45  
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Buy a used boat.
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