Chinghis

For mine, the doctor had to call in a nurse to witness. Literally. Like, she couldn't do the exam without a third-person to verify ... something. That was a little odd.

JohnDThompson 

I remember one of the family practice docs at the hospital where I worked complaining to a colleague that new resident physicians weren't doing rectal exams. To which the colleague replied "And I thought they were supposed to be the digital generation!"

GhostRider62

Eons ago Chevy Chase was having an MRI done and the Doc and Tech were explaining the procedures serious as hell.

Chevy says, "Will you be able to see inside my brain"

Tech says, "Yes"

Chevy says deadpan, "Do me a favor. Look in there for my music cells, I used to be a concert pianist and can't play anymore"

I peed myself. That someone in so much pain could joke was the real lesson

jon c. 

My last colonoscopy involved "twilight sleep" anesthesia. I wasn't quite out but I wasn't really aware of the procedure,

In the recovery area a nurse came by after a while and asked how I was feeling. I truthfully told her "I haven't felt this good in years,"

She laughed and said 'oh, that's the morphine,' I asked if I could have some to take home but no such luck.

GhostRider62

I was in the ER with a ruptured appendix.

After 3-4 hours on a Wednesday and about 12 medical personnel jabbed and poked me, they decided to do a CT.

Surgeon comes in and tells me they need to rip my appendix out.

I asked him if we could do it Friday because I was playing Pine Valley tomorrow.

GhostRider62

My family Doc tells me it was over 5 years since my last rectal. Me: No thanks, I'm good.. Him: You think this is the favorite part of my job?! Me: Bending over Him: I'm going to do it twice unless you promise to get more regular checkup

MeganCook

I smile every time I see Chevy Chase who keeps his sense of humor even in a serious situation of an MRI. It's inspiring to see someone make light of a difficult situation and find humor in it, really. Unfortunately, I'm not good at all at finding ways to stay positive and keep a good attitude((( My biggest problem with depression is solved every time when it comes by a nurse from our local hospital. Overall, I read more on https://samploon.com/free-essays/nursing/ and understand daily what a vital significance this job has. The essays I check about nursing teach me that it is tough work, no doubt about it. Nurses work long hours, deal with all sorts of bodily fluids, and are constantly on their feet. But you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine, and nurses know how to bring the jokes. But in all seriousness, nurses play such an important role in our hospitals and healthcare system. They are the ones who are there day in and day out, taking care of patients and ensuring they receive the best possible care. We couldn't do it without them. So here's to all the hardworking nurses out there, keep up the great work and keep the jokes coming!

skidder

True story #1:

I go in for a colonoscopy, its over and I'm in the recovery/waiting room. Doctor comes in and asks if I have any questions:
ME: "So the report says you didn't find anything? Nothing at all?"
DOC: "Yep, that's correct, nothing at all"
ME: "Great! So I can tell my relatives and co-workers that I definitely do not have my head stuck up my azz."

True Story #2:
I'm in the emergency room on a gurney waiting for the lab tests to be completed. The next bay over I hear "Oops; damn!" A few minutes later I here it again "Oops' damn, did it again!" And a few minutes after that I here another "Oops; damnit, did it again! This one's finished, lets get it out of here" and I here something (a gurney?) being wheeled out. I'm getting worried so when the nurse walks in I ask "is everything OK next door?" She answers "yeah, the electronic "vitals" monitor kept failing so they sent it down to maintenance."

rumrunn6

I broke my leg peeing

but that's not a joke. just dumb as heck

MNBikeCommuter

At an annual physical, I mentioned that urinating isn't as forceful as it used to be. My dr smiled and replied, "Soooo. You can't write your name in the snow anymore!"

mr_bill

Teaching hospitals are fun.

I’m being prepped for achilles tendon surgery.

Intern is doing their second nerve block on a leg. My leg.

First Doc is making sure rule number one is followed, which leg.

Then Doc is explaining to the intern that while their first patient
was somewhat of a challenge, overweight, smoker
(I guess it makes a difference finding the nerve),
you’ll be able to do this one (wait, what? They failed the first?),
just relax, this is a piece of cake, you can do this,
this leg is textbook.

So, I’m thinking, you two know I can hear you, right?
So, to cut the tension (my tension), I wonder aloud….
“Like Grey’s Anatomy? “
Doc answers, “Nah, like da Vinci.”

(I was indeed a piece of cake.)

-mr. bill

skidder

^^^ Thankfully they weren't like Picasso in his abstract/modernist period^^^^.

HeyItsSara

Yow. You know there are girls here, right?

FBOATSB

My wife had her first MRI today. (I've had a few.) She said "If I were an interrogator, the noise and stress from that machine would bring a criminal to confess!"