veganbikes

Not really but yeah I saw your little logo so I know where your mind is at. Having been in a lot of situations where police especially have been less than useful and in fact made things worse, that is why I said what I said. This not P&R so I will not go into depth out of respect for this forum.

Don't forget to say her name!

Russ Roth

Never costs me anything more than a few seconds to slow and say "need a hand?" Never had a real negative reaction to it, and I'll ask even if it appears that they might know what they're doing. Wouldn't let negativity stop me from asking, better to have a dozen negative responses if it helps a person.

I've stopped for a number of them. Spent 4 hours of father's day 2020 sitting on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck. Lady was outside the truck trying to flag people down. Had a 2yo and 8 month old in a "newly purchased" old SUV and hadn't checked that she had the tools to change a flat and no AC. Temp was climbing into the mid 80s by that point so my three kids kept the 2yo occupied while the babe slept, my wife and I chatted up mom and my tiny minivan's 7yo AC worked hard to keep us cool. Had to pay for the tow truck operator to change the flat but worth the stop.
Also had a cop kindly point out my 5 month past due inspection and wag his finger at me but let it go at that for being stopped helping some lady get her spare out from underneath her minivan, such a stupid place to store them.
Have others but usually people today have a cell phone out and are chatting which means they've got in covered.

Cyclaholic

No

In a place like the US that values and protects the right to walk around with a loaded gun to solve your problems while pretending that predatory capitalism is the best way to run a healthcare system?... I would continue to mind my own business and not add someone else's problems to my own.

raceboy

On my ride today, a young woman a few hundred yards ahead of me pulled over and got off of her bike and was looking at the rear tire, then checking her bike bag as I rode by. I asked if everything was ok. She said yes, thanks and I continued my ride guilt free.

About five years ago, asked a guy at the side of the road if he was ok and he had just fallen and broken a collarbone. He really needed help and I was glad I could provide it.

I’ve never had someone reply rudely. If they did, I hope I wouldn’t take it personally and I’d chalk it up to them having a bad day. Unless I was having a bad day, too. Then I might get cranky, haha.

Kedosto

I always call out from a distance with some version of “is everything okay?” If the answer is anything other than a confident version of “yeah, I’m (we’re) good,” I’ll circle back and observe from a distance.

If I’ve circled back, at that point I’m assessing the situation independently and without regard for the comments of the other party. My first concern is for my own safety, and my second concern is for the safety of the other person(s) involved. Many times people will refuse assistance when there is clearly a need, be it mechanical or medical.

I analyze the situation based on my own observations and act accordingly. If it’s a mechanical breakdown, I’ll offer assistance and happily help (or not) as preferred by the other party. If it’s a medical situation, I’ll offer assistance but if my help is refused and I believe it to be warranted, I’ll contact emergency services regardless of the other party’s denial. If the situation appears even slightly strained or weird, I’ll keep my distance and based on my own observations decide whether or not to contact authorities — and I’m not afraid to err on the side of caution.

I’ve never had anyone get snarky or angry at me for calling out an offer of assistance. Over the span of several decades, I’ve helped many, let many more handle themselves, made emergency calls on a couple, and never once felt threatened or in danger.

wolfchild

OP no need to feel guilty about anything. You did the right thing by not intervening in another couples business.

CAT7RDR

Become familiar with your state's Good Samaritan Laws if you have concerns about being held liable.
As cyclists, we will encounter medical emergencies on the roads and trails.

GhostRider62

I always offer with a simple, "You good?" or "Have everything?" when the rider is obviously experienced and if not, I ask more directly if I can help. They never accept help. I had three riders in one year walking due to a destroyed tubeless tire. I almost always carry a spare tire and neither of them accepted help. One was walking 6-7 miles back to his car in his stocking feet.

Injecting myself into a domestic? Most I'd do is call 911. But OP does not describe what sounds like that sort of thing.

wolfchild

Maybe the reason they decline is because their situation is not as desperate as you think.... and they have their situation under control.

GhostRider62

Riding a recumbent, people often think something is wrong with me and offer help all the time. I had one ask really slowly, "Do ...you ...want.... me.... to... call your caregiver" and another time, a really pretty young racer offered to fix my flat. I regret to have been too proud.

Koyote

Here's a quote from this article on WebMD: ""People are embarrassed," Meyerson says. "They don't want to come to the emergency room complaining of something and find it to be indigestion."

Here's a quote from this refereed research paper: "Some participants reported that anticipated fear, embarrassment, or guilt kept them from seeking medical care (n=76)."

Back when I was in college, I took a first aid course that was co-taught by an EMT. When we were learning the Heimlich Maneuver, the EMT told us that many choking victims are found dead in restaurant bathrooms -- people scurry off from their tables when choking rather than draw attention to themselves.

I'm inclined to believe professional medical researchers and an EMT rather than some random person on the internet who provides no evidence.

indyfabz

Which wasn’t the case here. Did you not read and/or comprehend the OP? Or is this more of your trolling?

Retro Grouch 

My regular response to any cyclist on the side of the road is to ask if they have everything they need.

I've been on the opposite side of the fence too. Ten years ago, while I was laying on a trail unable to move with a broken femur, a cyclist rode by and asked if we were having a tea party. I have to say, however, that my wife and I also received a lot of needed assistance that day from lots of people we didn't know.

wolfchild

The situation which OP came across was under control and there was no need for him to stick his nose in another couples business. If the couple was really desperate they would of flagged him down to attract attention for help. They did not because one of them most likely had a cell phone and already called for help.

Juan Foote

Back some years ago, well..decades ago, I would have absolutely said "yes, should have stopped". Given the prevalence of mobile phones I don't think there is a lot of reason to do so any longer for a conscious and alert adult with an issue (especially with others already present). Surely there is someone they can call themselves. I think it is also a part of a cyclist's own responsibility to have on hand items they may need for a repair or in the case they don't to actually flag others down themselves.
With that said, when riding out in this area if I pass someone stopped on the side, I generally shout out a quick "you good?" and almost always the answer is yes.

wolfchild

I think you are just cherry picking inaccurate medical research articles which happen support your personal beliefs.

Inusuit

Maybe you roar by fellow motorists, but I don't. It's a long way between towns in Wyoming and many areas do not have cell phone service. A stranded and unprepared motorist can be in big trouble if left to their own devices. Whether drivers or cyclists, I've never had other than a polite and often grateful response to offers of assistance.

BTinNYC 

When my gut says "they probably need help", I listen.

After this many decades as a NYC resident, I believe my instincts about human interactions.

Koyote

Or perhaps my "beliefs" are based on evidence. What are yours based on?

Clyde1820

It's certainly a question each person needs to answer for themselves, in a given situation. Many different types of situations out there. And, often, things are not what they seem.

Have seen a person head out in front of an oncoming vehicle or cyclist, to get that person to stop, only to ensure that person's cohorts nearby have an opportunity to swarm the vehicle/rider while attention is diverted. Have had one instance of such an attempt to get me to stop, myself. (Didn't stop, not when forced like that. But then, I'm a suspicious sort.)

Without clear evidence of injury and/or damage to a bike or vehicle, it can be hard to ascertain whether the situation's really a crash. (Though, obviously not every crash results in overt damage to a bike, or even the person.)

I try to gauge the risk level based on the number of people there, how they're all behaving, the "injured" party and whether it seems credible. Along with whether they're asking (or even demanding) help from passersby.

I've stopped to help, on prior occasions. Have done so while cycling, and while driving in a vehicle. When with another person (riding or driving), I've stopped more frequently, given the extra pair of eyes to watch the goings-on and to watch my back.

That being said, is there some sort of morality at play here, in such situations? I don't think so. But there's always the idea of helping somebody, and of the feel-good for having helped somebody. (Of course, in some states in the U.S. it's actually a statute on the books that criminalizes failure to stop and render aid.)

I'll stop, depending. But I won't put myself at dire risk, these days, to do so. If the situation seems right, I'll likely do it from a bit of a distance, to allow time for gauging the situation. I'll inquire what the issue is, see if I can confirm the claims are real, then see if I can assist ... even if that assistance only involves going to get help, or calling for help, or getting a blanket/1stAid/water. Fact is, I'm nobody's EMT, so there's only limited things I might be able to do even if the tools/supplies exist on-scene. Plus there's the simple reality that a crash can often involve nasty impacts upon a person's head or spine, in which case the person shouldn't be moved.

In the situation the OP presents, with two people (a male and a female) nearby each other, I would think it would depend on the specifics. Was there overt injury (ie, bleeding)? Was there overt proof of a crashed bike (broken/tweaked parts)? Did any of the parties claim to have need of aid, or have an injury, or whatever? Might have been worth stopping a few dozen yards distant, to watch and to be on-hand if needed. I likely would have asked if there was a problem ... and what I might do would depend on the replies and my level of comfort with the situation and replies.

unterhausen

Not quite the same situation as the op, but there is nothing worse than having a flat in the middle of a group ride and being interrupted every 30 seconds with, "need anything?" Well, the time I was at the back end of a group ride and my road morph G failed and I had to walk because I told the only other person behind me that I had everything I needed was probably worse. I don't recall any cyclist ever having a problem that wanted my help when I was riding. I did stop once to see if a motorist needed my help and was rewarded because they were getting water out of the spring I was looking for because I needed water. So that was triple rewarding, they were grateful I stopped to help them, I didn't have to help them, and I got water.

I feel guilty every time I drive by someone stopped at the side of the road. My daughter trained me to feel that way. I have helped people change tires when I was walking and saw them, but when I'm going 70mph my thought process is too slow. There was one time a person was trying to change a tire outside my work building. It was dark, and they were having trouble getting the lug nuts off. Turns out the hubcaps had fake lug nuts built in that looked just like they were real in the bad lighting we had. Once I figured that out, it was pretty easy.

GhostRider62

I broke down on I-4 near Disney and not a single car stopped to offer assistance over the course of 5 hours it took AAA to have a tow truck arrive to this extremely remote corner of civilization. Actually, I gave up and called a local truck and paid him cash. Cancelled AAA that night

OTOH, every single randonneur on the brevet stopped to offer help when I broke down on a 300Km. Every single rider. One had the very long zip ties I needed in conjunction with duck tape that I had and I was able to repair the breakage sufficiently to finish the brevet. So, I was lucky.

If a rider is on a club ride and broken down, I don't say anything. I just look at one of the riders and a thumbs up and he/she will signal all is ok.

It is probably pride that keeps a rider from taking help, I know it is that way with me. I have a hard time fixing a flat anymore due to weakness in my hands. My record was 42 minutes on a cold, wet 400k at 5 am. I was so pissed off at myself because I could not change the tire and also at myself for not saying, "Yes, I need help" to the dozens of riders who passed me.

Barry2 

If I don’t “like” the help might be needed situation, I’ve rolled by to a safe distance and called back.
Not only does this protect me, but seems to put individual(s) at ease.

sometimes all you have to tell them is “AAA will come and get you”. Most don’t know.

Barry

Juan Foote

I used to stop and help motorists all the time. This was a response to a couple of really generous motorists that helped me out of some tough spots back in the day. The last time I did this was in a parking lot at a local store. There were two young ladies with a flat standing around fretting about it and a friend and I got out and got their tire changed for them. Not one WORD was said the whole time about anyone else being on the way. Right as we are getting finished up, the BF of one of them gets there and had the audacity to get out and act like an ******* because "some guys" were (apparently) trying to get in their pants by doing something nice. Even worse was that not only did the ladies not try and defend our action, tell him that we hadn't been forward in any manner of way, but didn't bother to say thank you either. No good deed.

soyabean

Consider how else this could have turned out.

The two women could have called the police on you guys, make accusations of assault, and now you are cuffed and enjoy a nice overnite stay in a cell.

Don't believe it could happen? Are you willing to bet money against it?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...pologises.html

Sorry but #metoo has messed things up for the rest of the ladies that deserve male chivalry. I prefer to invest my time in me and my family instead of playing female games.