cudak888 

This Troxel saddle came off my Slightly Marinated Moulton and I believe it is the Saddle of Much Pain model. It's apparently not the original to the bike, and I'm glad the good Dr. Moulton did not specify it, as it is singlehandedly the worst piece of garbage I've ever sat on, including that solid rock that Pacific put on every Wal-Mart bicycle shaped object from 10 years ago.

This saddle's era is unknown, but I assume it hails from roughly the fieriest depths of hell imaginable. The pattern of the stamped-steel Torture Platform below the Vinyl of Much Displeasure is curved in such a way to be too flat and wide around the sit bones, resulting in the saddle itself getting in the way of your inner thigh during pedal downstroke, if set to the proper height. It's quite literally designed only to be ridden two feet too low to be usable, which rather sums up mid-century America's approach to anything bicycle related in the first place.

So if NFTs aren't your bag and you want to own something made from the same material as a landau top and just as useless, send 20 of your hard earned dollars to me - along with an additional 15 for Louis DeJoy to use as his personal toilet paper - so you can own your very own piece of white vinyl bicycle malaise from your favorite tovarich in Moscow, Tennessee, the Troxel Butt Hatchet Company.

PayComrade or Moscow Order accepted.

Chuck Naill

I'll pass...ho, ho, ho!

lasauge 

A genuine MUSA saddle for $35? Somebody out there has to have it. Not me though...

zandoval 

Bike included? ...Ha

nlerner

My Nigerian associates will wire you $101,666 American dollars in exchange for that valuable saddle. We will merely need your bank account #, swift code, and social security #.

cpsqlrwn

I would like to be able to tell you "PM Sent!" or "I'll take it" or "Next in line Please" but alas, please be satisfied that I found your description of this merchandise incredibly humorous. You brightened my day. After I read this post it seemed as if all of life's troubles became very trivial. Very well done. Oh I almost forgot....
GLWS!!!

Sedgemop 

Better written than that saddle deserves.

cudak888 

Call in the next 10 minutes and receive - absolutely free - a pair of Hunt-Wilde grips of Grossly Insufferable Palm Pain.

Now I want to sell a Columbia middleweight. I know I can do it...justice.

No wires, only conduit.

TY!

Only if it doesn't sell

-Kurt

clubman 

If I hadn't already owned one...the sky would be the limit.

Spaghetti Legs 

When you’ve tried every saddle in the store except …

RCMoeur 

If it was one of the saddles of that type that has longitudinal springs supporting the padding instead of the Metal Plate of Doom, it might have a chance of being comfortable. Nope.

If I owned a Varsity, and the seat was stolen, would I file a missing Persons report?

pastorbobnlnh 

It just needs to be heated in an extra-large eyeglass frame adjuster (found at the local Walmart optician shop), and re-shaped to your derrière.

Hondo6

Optional. But if @pastorbobnlnh ever quits posting here without advance notice, we'll certainly have to file a missing Parsons report.

USAZorro

As I was reading this thread to my stash, I heard a muffled voice asking me to hold its beer.





While the Troxel is unquestionably lumpier, this one makes up for it in bulk, surface area, stick-to-unprotected-skin-quotient, and surprisingly feeble springs that may talk a good game, but yield perhaps 1/8" of travel.

A certified, fat-bottomed-girl gave the following endorsement - "isn't that a bit much?"

I do not know if it would fit into the large flat rate box, but if you have a use for it, it does come with its own zip code.

RCMoeur 

At Recycle Your Bicycle, we get several bikes per year with this beast on the seatpost:
https://www.amazon.com/Serfas-CRS-1-...dp/B000MT0ICO/
Never mind ZIP code - this saddle has its own area code. And a MSRP that might often be more pricey than the bicycle that supports it.

RCMoeur 

I've also realized I may have been in error regarding the OEM supplier of Varsity seats.

But I am worried that if I brought the issue back here again, you all would end up...


... shooting the Mesinger.

tiger1964 

After looking at those photos, I need to apply chamois grease just to sit on the sofa! OUCH!

Schweinhund

The worst saddle I've had the displeasure of having to ride 20 miles on is the Serfas ARC. Ti rails do nothing to help it
I have a couple of the saddles the OP is not appreciative of, He's not wrong that they are horrible. The Serfas takes it to another level though. They are saddle shaped pinecones.

scarlson 

Oh man, I thought I was the only one! The Serfas ARC saddles are so unassuming, it's hard to believe how bad they are. So true!

My first (and only) experience with one was when I was 13. My dad put together my first "real" bike with me, out of my grandpa's entry-level '80s Trek. He took the Serfas ARC from his new shiny Santana tandem and bolted it to "my" Trek. It was probably the newest part on the bike. Instant regret does not begin to describe it. My shakedown ride was the only ride I took on that, yes, saddle-shaped pinecone.

At the time, Grant was really hawking Brooks stuff, saying they would be out of business soon, or maybe already had gone bankrupt, or something. I used my Christmas money from the same grandpa who'd given up the Trek, to buy myself a B17 Champion Special, honey brown with the big copper rivets. I still have and use that saddle to this day.

cudak888 

That looks like a tricycle seat missing its sissy bars.

Don't forget the infamous Cloud 9 saddle. A bit smaller, but always pretty bad in whatever variation it morphs into over the years.



I remember selling one or two of those ARCs on eBay BITD for good money. (Why anyone would pay good money for it is beyond me).

However, the Serfas still has one thing going for it: It's functional. It's one thing for a saddle to be chafing and uncomfortable, but it's an entirely different ballgame for a bicycle saddle's design to be absolutely at odds with the need to move your legs up and down, and this Troxel meets that description perfectly. It's not the act of sitting on it that's immediately painful, it's the act of attempting to use it for it's purpose.

-Kurt

RCMoeur 

Note that just like Serfas, Cloud 9 sells a variety of saddle designs (likely manufactured in the very same Asian factories). I personally really like some of their designs, whereas other bulkier models would likely elicit that same "sitting on a too-fat object" reaction so vividly described by so many assembled here.

cudak888 

I should have specified - almost forgot that there are multiple saddles under the Cloud 9 name, just with a really indeterminate naming convention.

This is the example I had in mind, though I swear they made a version with two gel inserts that make it just wildly over the top bulbous and uncomfortable:



-Kurt

polymorphself 

I hope one of two things happens here:

1. This saddle never sells (no offense cudak888 ) and remains on the front page forever as we continue to berate it.

2. Somebody comes along who was actually looking for this exact saddle. And then the post stays on the front page forever anyways as we continue to make (friendly) jokes at this person.

RCMoeur 

I don't know if that would sit well...

cudak888 

1. I'll scrap it or put it on The Worst Flipper Bike in the World first.

2. Nobody at the CABE has bit on the same listing there, so I don't think there's any market for it

You mean saddle well.

-Kurt