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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 09-14-21, 06:15 AM
  #17326  
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Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Here's a well known skijor fact:

He's an antique fanatic, he even recently married a 78 year old stripper named Tiffany.
OT:

<<insert a huge round of applause here>>

Thanks for changing your avatar. I couldn't stop thinking of my dental hygienist.

Back on track:

Ahsposo, Thook, and 3A once thook part in a wild orgy with Skijor's wife, Tiffany. A stripper pole, a dozen donuts - cream-filled, of course, a bucket of lard, and a rubber chicken were involved.
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Old 09-14-21, 09:13 AM
  #17327  
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^^^
...I have reported him to the Rubber Chicken Defense League for this obvious example of rubber chicken defamation.
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Old 09-14-21, 10:01 AM
  #17328  
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we can all hear him now crying... "defame!! defame!!!"

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Old 09-14-21, 04:05 PM
  #17329  
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Despite him being life-long hetero soulmates with Herve, he still kids him about his size, lies to him, punches him in the forehead, and steals his donuts. Herve has been known to chase Thook down the street, wearing nothing nothing but his rubber chicken-suit, screaming, "Laisse mes beignets transquilles!"
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Old 09-14-21, 04:39 PM
  #17330  
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.
...he was never a fan of dwarf tossing. It always seemed to him to be a sport based on a disregard for the basic humanity of little people. However, now that it has been renamed "Little Person Darts", he is the Thursday night league champion at the Dew Drop Inne in downtown Chesterfield.
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Old 09-14-21, 07:00 PM
  #17331  
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Stands for Truth, Justice and The Armenian Way...
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Old 09-14-21, 08:04 PM
  #17332  
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...he always stands for his country's national anthem, The Star Spangled Banana

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Old 09-15-21, 04:37 AM
  #17333  
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He votes on every erection...

(I'll let dynodonn supply the picture)
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Old 09-15-21, 09:09 AM
  #17334  
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At his age, Limp Bizkit is the only band he can now relate to.
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Old 09-15-21, 07:53 PM
  #17335  
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He got Robert Durst tattooed on his wiener while on crystal meth he thought it was Fred Durst and has been arrested in 20 different cities trying to whip it out at him during Limp Bizkit concerts "FRED...FRED...PLAY NOOKIE AND LOOK AT MY WINKIE I GOT YOU TATTOOED...FRED...FREDDDY....I DID ALL THE NOOKIE FOR THE NOOKIE I TOOK YOUR COOKIE AND PUT IT IN MY YAAAAH...PLAY THE NOOKIES...NOOKIES...no I won't come with you...WHAT DO YOU MEAN ILLEGAL...NO I'M NOT DRUNK...ISSS CALLED CRSSIL METH...OK I HAD A COUPLE SHOTS OF JAGERMIMER....HE NEEDS TO SEE THE TATTOO...FREDDDDD...FREEEEEEEDDDDD..."
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Old 09-15-21, 08:00 PM
  #17336  
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Sometime, in the next couple of weeks, he's gonna wake up suddenly, in the wee, dark, quiet hours and wonder: what if that tattoo tale isn't a lie? Why are there so many commas in this sentence? Why use a colon when a semicolon will do? Why is it so ******g hard to use all CAPS on this forum?
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Old 09-15-21, 08:23 PM
  #17337  
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ahsposo lives in dynodonn 's closet and he wants to take his Durst Dick up the colon but dynodonn can only get a semi colon
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Old 09-15-21, 08:37 PM
  #17338  
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that ain't salt in his shaker.....
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Old 09-16-21, 02:13 AM
  #17339  
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...those aren't bees and that's not his bonnet.
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Old 09-16-21, 06:43 AM
  #17340  
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Raises bees. He talks to them in, what many people have claimed, is a very accurate impersonation of Jerry Seinfeld's voice. He thinks it helps, but the bees keep doing what they do, but in reality thousands of his bees are shrugging thousands of their tiny bee-shoulders, wondering what to eff he is actually talking about. After he tends his bees, he hops on his custom black and yellow Huffy, which he calls Belushi, and cruises over to Veganbike's house to enjoy a maple syrup cocktail. They'll sit on Veggie's porch for the afternoon - sipping syrup, and spinning gossip about Thook and 3Alarmer. Meanwhile, Thook and 3A are sitting on Thook's porch, sipping ketchup, and gossiping about Ahsposo and Veggie.
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Old 09-16-21, 08:59 AM
  #17341  
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huffs ketchup. and, cooks dijon mustard...in a spoon. don't ask what he does with the mayonnaise. she likes it, though
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Old 09-16-21, 03:37 PM
  #17342  
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Tells me he really misses the alien that abducted him earlier this summer.

"He wuth CUTE! And tho gentle. But he hathn't called, he didn't thend flowerth, NOTHING!" he sobbed.
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Old 09-16-21, 07:06 PM
  #17343  
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His locale experienced months long shortages of Reynolds Wrap shortly after a lighting strike destroyed his tin foil hat collection, but thanks to his buying considerable stock in tin foil, he was able to offset most of his losses.
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Old 09-16-21, 07:15 PM
  #17344  
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generally his visits to the restroom remind him too much of that scene in the movie "aliens". you know...that one?
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Old 09-17-21, 12:46 PM
  #17345  
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Anytime he has to fill in the blank after "Occupation", he writes "Super-Model".
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Old 09-17-21, 02:02 PM
  #17346  
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he writes somewhere outside time and space

notes: nanu nanu
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Old 09-17-21, 03:27 PM
  #17347  
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After "Sex" he writes "Once with my sister so I'm not sure that counts"
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Old 09-17-21, 03:43 PM
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after sex he's howlin' at the moon...or the sun...or just anyone nearby.
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Old 09-17-21, 08:36 PM
  #17349  
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After sex he's crying in the corner because the dog can't lick any more peanut butter.
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Old 09-18-21, 05:18 AM
  #17350  
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Cries after I have sex with his Mom. He's crying because I'm better at it than him (with his Mom). Cries because he now thinks that I'm his dad. In fact, he's absolutely petrified at the thought. Nothing could be further from the truth - I was little too late on that one - the Fedex driver got there before me.
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