Irrational Mom Confrontatation
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Irrational Mom Confrontatation
Was motivated by the "angry dog" thread.
Was riding recently. Getting close to home on a 1 hour or so ride. I live in a rural area, but near a school, so at "rush hour" there is a four way stop that backs up. For some reason, the police were there, directing traffic. Thanks, guys! Anyway, to get home, I had to go up a small hill and stop at the stop sign. I did, and instead of trying to fly by on the shoulder, I waited in line. Only three cars, no big delay. When I got to the stop, I asked the officer "Ok to go?" and he said "Sure, and thanks for your riding safely". Cool! The good karma was not to last!
Turned into my subdivision. About a quarter mile downhill to a three way stop. Halfway down, a Mom had stopped her SUV in the middle of her lane, and her kids were stopped in the oncoming lane. I slowed, and waited for her kids to get out of the way so I could pass her on the left. The kids cleared her SUV and were to my left (they were going the opposite direction). The SUV had not started to move, so I started to pass. As I did so, Mom started her SUV but was a bit erratic in her driving. Starting, turning left a bit, then right, then slowing. I couldn't gage what she was doing, so I maintained speed and cleared her as fast as I could. So now I'm in front of her. All of a sudden, she starts blaring the horn, pulls up besides me, opens the window, gives me the universal single finger salute of friendship, and says "Those were my f*****g kids, you a$$***e!". Her exact words. I said "I waited for them to pass, they weren't in danger, and you are driving like and idiot". I think that this was pretty close to my words (I didn't use any cursing, that's for sure").
Now, I don't think her kids should be described as "f*****g kids". They aren't, to the best of my knowledge. If they are, that Mom should be arrested, because that's illegal and immoral. In fact, I think that the kids were nice. Nicer than some folks on the road that day. Heck, they were riding bikes - you can't get nicer than that.
In retrospect, I think I should have stopped and talked her down, explaining that at no point had I (or would I) put her kids in danger, and that her stopping in the middle of the street, and then restarting without signalling, and then using her SUV to intimidate and threaten me, were all pretty unsafe.
Would you guys have stopped, or ridden on?
Was riding recently. Getting close to home on a 1 hour or so ride. I live in a rural area, but near a school, so at "rush hour" there is a four way stop that backs up. For some reason, the police were there, directing traffic. Thanks, guys! Anyway, to get home, I had to go up a small hill and stop at the stop sign. I did, and instead of trying to fly by on the shoulder, I waited in line. Only three cars, no big delay. When I got to the stop, I asked the officer "Ok to go?" and he said "Sure, and thanks for your riding safely". Cool! The good karma was not to last!
Turned into my subdivision. About a quarter mile downhill to a three way stop. Halfway down, a Mom had stopped her SUV in the middle of her lane, and her kids were stopped in the oncoming lane. I slowed, and waited for her kids to get out of the way so I could pass her on the left. The kids cleared her SUV and were to my left (they were going the opposite direction). The SUV had not started to move, so I started to pass. As I did so, Mom started her SUV but was a bit erratic in her driving. Starting, turning left a bit, then right, then slowing. I couldn't gage what she was doing, so I maintained speed and cleared her as fast as I could. So now I'm in front of her. All of a sudden, she starts blaring the horn, pulls up besides me, opens the window, gives me the universal single finger salute of friendship, and says "Those were my f*****g kids, you a$$***e!". Her exact words. I said "I waited for them to pass, they weren't in danger, and you are driving like and idiot". I think that this was pretty close to my words (I didn't use any cursing, that's for sure").
Now, I don't think her kids should be described as "f*****g kids". They aren't, to the best of my knowledge. If they are, that Mom should be arrested, because that's illegal and immoral. In fact, I think that the kids were nice. Nicer than some folks on the road that day. Heck, they were riding bikes - you can't get nicer than that.
In retrospect, I think I should have stopped and talked her down, explaining that at no point had I (or would I) put her kids in danger, and that her stopping in the middle of the street, and then restarting without signalling, and then using her SUV to intimidate and threaten me, were all pretty unsafe.
Would you guys have stopped, or ridden on?
#2
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You should not have stopped and tried to talk her down. There's very little for you to gain that way, and when an irrational person is exploding at you with anger, behind the wheel of an SUV while you're on a bike, it's not a good time to push the issue. Every now and then it backfires, and you don't want to be a statistic.
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a Mom had stopped her SUV in the middle of her lane
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Personally, I think you made the mistake by passing a moving vehicle on the left (regardless of how erratic she was driving.) She probably didn't know you were behind her waiting for the kids to pass. She probably thought you just came flying down the road and didn't slow down at all.
You put yourself into a situation where she was going to have to pass you again very shortly. There is only ONE situation where I ever find this acceptable, and that's at a red light/stop sign with a VERY large line of traffic. (Or a bike lane.)
I like to think of drivers as little 3 years olds. You step VERY gently around them as to not piss them off.
You put yourself into a situation where she was going to have to pass you again very shortly. There is only ONE situation where I ever find this acceptable, and that's at a red light/stop sign with a VERY large line of traffic. (Or a bike lane.)
I like to think of drivers as little 3 years olds. You step VERY gently around them as to not piss them off.
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I see absolutely nothing to be gained by engaging people like her. Nothing you say will change her opinions for the better, and more likely will give her more ammunition to support her already formed opinion.
If I respond at all it's usually something neutral like "sorry, you're so upset" and move on.
If I respond at all it's usually something neutral like "sorry, you're so upset" and move on.
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An ounce of diagnosis is worth a pound of cure.
Just because I'm tired of arguing, doesn't mean you're right.
“One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions” - Adm Grace Murray Hopper - USN
WARNING, I'm from New York. Thin skinned people should maintain safe distance.
Last edited by FBinNY; 05-10-17 at 10:37 AM.
#7
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There is no telling what sequence of events could have led to her mental state. You could have been catching the brunt of something her kids just did (or didn't).
#8
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it is often as if their brain does not even register a bicycle.
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Those kinda drivers always get a call to the po-po from me... I describe it to the 911 operator as "impaired driving".
And, no, I don't waste time chatting with the driver.
And, no, I don't waste time chatting with the driver.
#10
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Every woodsman and hiker knows that you never get between a mother bear and her cubs. It is guaranteed to provoke an attack.
When it comes to protecting her children, a mother is rarely rational.
-Tim-
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I see absolutely nothing to be gained by engaging people like her. Nothing you day will change her opinions for the better, and more likely will give her more ammunition to support her already formed opinion.
If I respond at all it's usually something neutral like "sorry, you're so upset" and move on.
If I respond at all it's usually something neutral like "sorry, you're so upset" and move on.
In life you have to choose your battles. You pick the ones you can win, and the ones that are important, that have something in it for you. Confrontations with angry drivers don't usually fall into either category.
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Actually, I would have done exactly as you did. Some people are dumb, simple minded, and selfish; and no amount of reason will help them.
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Next time, wave and smile.
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I read a really good book lately called "The subtle art of not giving a f...: A counter intuitive guide to living a better life."
This falls into the category of not giving a f...
This falls into the category of not giving a f...
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Fairly often, I go around a driver who's decided to compose an encyclopedia via SMS while sitting at a stop sign and never see them again.
#17
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Sounds like you must live around the metropolitan Atlanta area. Worst roads & drivers than just about anywhere else. (Except Puerto Rico maybe). I don't trust any drivers around here. And yes, I'll actually ride my bike up on the sidewalk occasionally.
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Personally, I think you made the mistake by passing a moving vehicle on the left (regardless of how erratic she was driving.) She probably didn't know you were behind her waiting for the kids to pass. She probably thought you just came flying down the road and didn't slow down at all.
However to be fair, if I'm approaching a vehicle that isn't moving, and still doesn't move as I get even closer, I'm going to go around. I'm not going to stop and wait on the hopes that they might get going someday.
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#20
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Atlanta? Come on up to MA sometimes. Drivers? I've seen them ON the sidewalk here. We vie for the bottom of the barrel.
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I read the book and you are correct. Nothing to do but put your head down and ignore her or smile and wave.
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I would have completely ignored her. There is no speaking with someone who is acting that way. They aren't going to hear anything you say.
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If someone arrives at a position, not having employed rational thought, a rational argument will not change their mind.
#25
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You could've said."Shame on you! What kind of careless mother lets her kids off in the middle of the street? I'm calling the police to report your negligence! I have it all on video."
Because ya know, It would be funny to watch her head explode.
Because ya know, It would be funny to watch her head explode.