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Riding with women

Old 04-27-22, 05:05 AM
  #151  
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Originally Posted by ErinKeegan
I'm talking not only about usual and friendly "hi" , talking about men who keep your speed (even when you almost stop to let him go away), and try to talk with you (where do you live? let's ride a bike together) and so on. And even when you say NO , he doesn't understand and still keep going
That's what I thought, matching speed isn't something that happens by accident so it really does cross the line of forcing you to pay attention. I don't know why I still get shocked when women tell me how often they encounter that kind of crap.
Not taking no for an answer sounds even worse than creepy, crossing over to threatening. Does that happen a lot?

Hope you don't mind my asking you about this, but this thread has 99% been men talking to each other, and I think myself and my fellow males are pretty blind to the day-to-day of this.
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Old 04-27-22, 08:58 AM
  #152  
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Originally Posted by kaos joe
I've got this real creeper of a woman who lives in my neighborhood. Not so much when it's cold, and never when I ride the trails, but it seems almost half the time I ride the road, she latches on and drafts me unbelievably closely. Sometimes, I think can feel her breathing on my neck. She's pleasant enough and likes to chat, is several years younger and quite pretty, so I've been letting it happen. A few times she has crossed the line and pinched my bottom, and I'm torn as to whether I should consider myself harassed. She pulled this crap for 40 miles the other day. I was riding my red bike.




Admit it, you like the sexual harassment.
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Old 04-27-22, 11:34 PM
  #153  
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I’ve always been startled by the amount of unwanted attention women get from men and would strongly suggest not trying to strike up a relationship with some random female you just happen to be sharing a bike path with.

Many of those who seem to respond positively have simply been conditioned to do this and would much prefer you to just disappear.

In general I don’t see why people feel the need to interact with strangers. I have plenty of mates and if I want to ride with somebody I will and if I’m riding solo it’s because I want to be riding solo.

Yours, a miserable anti social git 😉
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Old 04-28-22, 10:34 AM
  #154  
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I think this can be boiled down pretty simply. How do you interact with strangers in any other context? Be polite and friendly, watch for signals the other person doesn't want to interact, and go about your business. How would you act if you saw a woman sitting by herself at a coffee shop or a bar? Why would seeing her on a bike be any different?
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Old 04-28-22, 11:09 AM
  #155  
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Originally Posted by bbbean
I think this can be boiled down pretty simply. How do you interact with strangers in any other context? Be polite and friendly, watch for signals the other person doesn't want to interact, and go about your business. How would you act if you saw a woman sitting by herself at a coffee shop or a bar? Why would seeing her on a bike be any different?
And just learn to read social cues.
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Old 04-28-22, 12:31 PM
  #156  
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Originally Posted by bbbean
How would you act if you saw a woman sitting by herself at a coffee shop or a bar? Why would seeing her on a bike be any different?
If anything, the bike is worse as there's a bit of implied danger of being accosted "on the street" that you wouldn't get at a coffee shop. Unwanted attention gets even creepier when there's no one else close by.

I know too many women who have been slipped a mickey at bars to make the same generalization about bars.
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Old 04-28-22, 02:32 PM
  #157  
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As I said above, I ride alone for solitude, so I act on the assumption that others riding alone are the same. I don't wave or say 'Hi' or try to initiate conversations, but if someone else does, I'll ride along and talk with them, but won't alter my route to continue the conversation. All but one of such encounters have been guys. The other one was on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I was going up one of the local climbs (West Old La Honda, for you Bay Areans), and a young woman (well, younger than me, anyway) struck up a conversation, and we rode the two miles to the top together. At the top, she said she was going DOWN East Old La Honda, so that was where we parted ways. I stole a quick look at the name on her top tube.

Shari Kain. Several times National Cyclocross champion. I think my "Day of the Big Climbs" coincided with her "recovery pace" ride, or she'd have shot by me like I was standing still.
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Old 04-28-22, 05:26 PM
  #158  
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Originally Posted by genejockey
As I said above, I ride alone for solitude, so I act on the assumption that others riding alone are the same. I don't wave or say 'Hi' or try to initiate conversations, but if someone else does, I'll ride along and talk with them, but won't alter my route to continue the conversation. All but one of such encounters have been guys. The other one was on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. I was going up one of the local climbs (West Old La Honda, for you Bay Areans), and a young woman (well, younger than me, anyway) struck up a conversation, and we rode the two miles to the top together. At the top, she said she was going DOWN East Old La Honda, so that was where we parted ways. I stole a quick look at the name on her top tube.

Shari Kain. Several times National Cyclocross champion. I think my "Day of the Big Climbs" coincided with her "recovery pace" ride, or she'd have shot by me like I was standing still.
Or, she thought you were hawt and you missed the cues. Oh well.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:28 PM
  #159  
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Originally Posted by Mojo31
Or, she thought you were hawt and you missed the cues. Oh well.
Yeah, no. I'm reasonably sure that wasn't it.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:46 PM
  #160  
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Originally Posted by genejockey
Shari Kain. Several times National Cyclocross champion. I think my "Day of the Big Climbs" coincided with her "recovery pace" ride, or she'd have shot by me like I was standing still.
I ride with Linda Jackson all the time, Canadian national champion and Olympic silver medalist. Kind of wild the talent out on the roads here. A couple months ago we were both trolling around looking for the end of the noon ride and ran into each other and did like 15 miles together, luckily she is old now or I couldn’t keep up
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Old 04-28-22, 06:50 PM
  #161  
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Originally Posted by LarrySellerz
I ride with Linda Jackson all the time, Canadian national champion and Olympic silver medalist. Kind of wild the talent out on the roads here. A couple months ago we were both trolling around looking for the end of the noon ride and ran into each other and did like 15 miles together
She passed me once, or at least I'm almost certain it was her. This was while she was still racing for Cannondale, back in the 90s. She passed me on a polished aluminum 2.8 series C-dale. About my height, about half my weight.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:53 PM
  #162  
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Originally Posted by genejockey
She passed me once, or at least I'm almost certain it was her. This was while she was still racing for Cannondale, back in the 90s. She passed me on a polished aluminum 2.8 series C-dale. About my height, about half my weight.
she used to dunk on guys on the hills, checks out.
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Old 04-28-22, 06:58 PM
  #163  
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Originally Posted by LarrySellerz
she used to dunk on guys on the hills, checks out.
Dude, I'm 205lbs. EVERYBODY dunks on me on the hills.
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Old 04-28-22, 07:09 PM
  #164  
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Originally Posted by genejockey
Dude, I'm 205lbs. EVERYBODY dunks on me on the hills.
Fat boy life. There are benefits, on the club hill climb ride the front is a total sausagefest and fat guys like me just chill near the back where it’s like half women.
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Old 04-28-22, 10:05 PM
  #165  
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During this evening's ride I came upon two women on my local trail. Honestly, I could smell them before I saw them (going through a succession of blind corners). Once I got to within 50 yards I began to actually taste the perfume one - or perhaps both - had apparently bathed in. I couldn't have stayed behind stalking them if I tried; it was truly nauseating.

Now I have to wonder if overloading on perfume is a defense mechanism? Anyone else experience this?

As for the rest, it's hard in today's world to know if we (men) are ever doing the right thing in regard to women. So many standards and opinions, from too many sources. Makes one wonder how our parents ever met, fell in love, married, and had us. A friendly hello can be creepy to some, openly social to others.

Don't even get me started on the double standards, because both sexes can and do commit the most heinous of actions against each other. It's not like men are the only creepy/cringey ones out there doing dirt - far from it.

DD
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Old 04-29-22, 03:24 AM
  #166  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
As for the rest, it's hard in today's world to know if we (men) are ever doing the right thing in regard to women. So many standards and opinions, from too many sources.
I think it's important to note that women have always had the same problems but are only being heard about them recently.

That said, the only source of information on what to do with regard to women is the woman in question. Generally just treating like you would any other person and not as someone you are trying to hit on seems to be the way to go.
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Old 04-29-22, 04:33 AM
  #167  
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Originally Posted by Herzlos

I think it's important to note that women have always had the same problems but are only being heard about them recently.


DD
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Old 04-29-22, 04:58 AM
  #168  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
During this evening's ride I came upon two women on my local trail. Honestly, I could smell them before I saw them (going through a succession of blind corners). Once I got to within 50 yards I began to actually taste the perfume one - or perhaps both - had apparently bathed in. I couldn't have stayed behind stalking them if I tried; it was truly nauseating.

Now I have to wonder if overloading on perfume is a defense mechanism? Anyone else experience this?

As for the rest, it's hard in today's world to know if we (men) are ever doing the right thing in regard to women. So many standards and opinions, from too many sources. Makes one wonder how our parents ever met, fell in love, married, and had us. A friendly hello can be creepy to some, openly social to others.

Don't even get me started on the double standards, because both sexes can and do commit the most heinous of actions against each other. It's not like men are the only creepy/cringey ones out there doing dirt - far from it.

DD
I don't think it's a double standard, it's that it's overwhelming how much more routine it is for men to act this way than women.

As far as how previous generations got together, I think the internet has fundamentally changed that. And I'm not referring to dating services, that's just a small part of it.
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Old 04-29-22, 06:02 AM
  #169  
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It's more than just the supposed double standard, the risk on both sides is completely different. Men are (for historical reasons) more likely to be in a position to abuse power and are usually more intimidating.

So it's not quite that both sides are bad, both sides are bad but the stakes are completely different. A man is a lot less likely to be fearing for his safety if being harassed by a woman than the reverse.
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Old 04-29-22, 11:39 AM
  #170  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
Now I have to wonder if overloading on perfume is a defense mechanism? Anyone else experience this?
I work in a middle school where the kids think if a little is good then a lot is better. Girls with the cheap perfume and make-up, and boys with the Axe spray. Some of them never grow up and keep it up well into mid life.

Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
As for the rest, it's hard in today's world to know if we (men) are ever doing the right thing in regard to women. So many standards and opinions, from too many sources. Makes one wonder how our parents ever met, fell in love, married, and had us. A friendly hello can be creepy to some, openly social to others.
The best thing I've ever heard is that men should treat other women the same way they would have other men treat their mother/wife/daughter. The tough part for men is that we don't think the same way. If a woman came up to me randomly and told me how she'd love to see me in less clothes and do X, Y, and Z to me, I'd be bragging to my friends about it for days. Instead, I think about how I'd feel if a large man said it to me. That's probably how uncomfortable women feel.

Also, women are different. Some like the attention and some don't, and most are probably somewhere in between. The trick is figuring out how each wants to be treated without coming across like a total creep.
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Old 04-29-22, 11:51 AM
  #171  
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I'm slow. I don't think there is a man out there who wants to ride my pace. So I would definitely be creeped out if one decided to ride along with me for a while.
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Old 04-29-22, 02:32 PM
  #172  
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Originally Posted by livedarklions

I don't think it's a double standard, it's that it's overwhelming how much more routine it is for men to act this way than women.
Citation needed.

Unless, of course, you're simply stating your opinion; and I'm cool with that. But it doesn't mean your comment is factual - or even correct.

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Old 04-29-22, 02:38 PM
  #173  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
Citation needed.

Unless, of course, you're simply stating your opinion; and I'm cool with that. But it doesn't mean your comment is factual - or even correct.

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Old 04-29-22, 02:42 PM
  #174  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
Citation needed.

Unless, of course, you're simply stating your opinion; and I'm cool with that. But it doesn't mean your comment is factual - or even correct.

DD

Are you seriously suggesting that men get hassled by women on the street as often as women do by men? That's too preposterous to even entertain.
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Old 04-29-22, 02:48 PM
  #175  
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Originally Posted by Drillium Dude
Citation needed.

Unless, of course, you're simply stating your opinion; and I'm cool with that. But it doesn't mean your comment is factual - or even correct.

DD
Can you show me, on this doll, where the "Me, Too" movement touched you?
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