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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 06-15-21, 11:57 PM
  #16726  
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but, to him, everything's better with spork
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Old 06-16-21, 04:21 AM
  #16727  
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Has a huge corn collection; he's got dwarf corn, corn on the cob, corn off the cob, silver queen corn, creamed corn, corn getting shucked by men, corn getting shucked by under-age girls - all kinds of corn and he hides it from his mom.
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Old 06-16-21, 05:25 AM
  #16728  
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People would laugh at his lies, but they are just so corny!

Known as "Pop" Corn by the neighborhood kids, he hands out candy corn on Halloween. He also works in a small neighborhood grocery store.

One day he was stacking fruit on a display, when Thook runs up and asks, "Do you have any corn?", to which Ahsposo replies, "Sorry bro, we are out of corn, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning".

Thookie looks around some more. A few mins later he runs back to him asking where the corn is. Becoming a little irritated now, Ahsposo simply tells him, "Sorry bro, we are out of corn, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning".

Thook becomes more impatient and obviously stressed. "Look man, where the hell do you keep the corn, I need some corn right now!" A man has just GOT TO HAVE HIS CORN!"

Getting frustrated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the corn-crazed Thookster, "Answer a couple of questions and I will get you your corn from the back." Thook agrees and Ahsposo starts the questions.

Ahsposo said, "Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe".

He says, "Ok, "C-A-T".

"Very good," Ol' Popcorn says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic."

Thook, getting that crazy-man look in his eyes, spells it correct.

Now he finally asks, "Now spell, Fuc, as in corn."

Thook starts to spell, and then replies "Hey man, there is no Fuc in corn?" To which Ahsposo replies, "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
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Old 06-16-21, 08:54 AM
  #16729  
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He'll do all of your lying for a low monthly fee. Let him take the rap should you get convicted, divorced, pregnant, etc.
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Old 06-16-21, 11:43 AM
  #16730  
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...was recently convicted of a felony, because he hired the cheapest liar he could employ.
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Old 06-16-21, 03:38 PM
  #16731  
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Everyone knows when he's lawyering when his lips move.
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Old 06-16-21, 06:24 PM
  #16732  
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Everyone knows he's reading when his lips move.
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Old 06-16-21, 06:56 PM
  #16733  
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...just like that poor cat in all the Pepe le Pew cartoons, whenever his lips move, saying "No, no," his eyes promise, "Yes, yes."
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Old 06-16-21, 10:44 PM
  #16734  
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he's headin' for the cheatin' side of town, and his smile is a thin disguise
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Old 06-17-21, 04:32 AM
  #16735  
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Little known thook fact:

George Lucas created a character, The Thooky, for him in The Empire Strikes Back. His participation ended when thook demanded to play Princess Lay-ya instead and Lucas refused fearing a backlash from the Christian Right. Lucas did offer him the part of Thook the Hut but thook's agent felt there wasn't enough artistic challenge in the role.
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Old 06-17-21, 07:46 AM
  #16736  
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To this day, he is still dejected that his pleas to be a red shirt on Star Trek were continually killed off by Desilu Studios.
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Old 06-17-21, 11:36 AM
  #16737  
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...he's been experimenting lately with ventrilolying, where he makes it sound like his lies are actually being spoken by a dummy.
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Old 06-17-21, 11:42 AM
  #16738  
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He hasn't got time to go to no stonings. His donkey's not well again.
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Old 06-17-21, 12:45 PM
  #16739  
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he's a master at pin the tail on the donkey. of course, it's helpful his forehead has lost all feeling
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Old 06-17-21, 03:04 PM
  #16740  
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...sometimes he thinks his lies are just feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget his feelings of love.
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Old 06-18-21, 05:01 AM
  #16741  
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Tells me his really big hat more than compensates for his lack of cattle...
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Old 06-18-21, 07:08 AM
  #16742  
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Since his mechanical and handyman skills are sorely lacking, his wife has been resigned to the fact that everything in their household will always will be in limp mode.
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Old 06-18-21, 11:48 AM
  #16743  
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He will be the first person ever killed by a thrown bullet.
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Old 06-18-21, 01:55 PM
  #16744  
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he'll be the first person ever convicted of murder with handgun. no...i mean, a handgun! <<<pew!! pew!! pew!!>>>
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Old 06-18-21, 04:16 PM
  #16745  
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thook does it by the book near a brook where he took the chinook (it was really a snook; who would cook a chinook from Kirkuk?) to cook.
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Old 06-20-21, 01:24 PM
  #16746  
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His wife brings food and clean clothing to him down at Leisure World, with him being a failed Elvis impersonator, he still cannot find his way out of the building.
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Old 06-20-21, 08:44 PM
  #16747  
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... wishes someone would bring him food. He can live without the clean clothing.
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Old 06-21-21, 05:54 AM
  #16748  
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He's a die-hard acid head; he even pays rent to an electric landlady...

Last edited by ahsposo; 06-21-21 at 12:09 PM. Reason: clarification of the lie...
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Old 06-21-21, 09:04 AM
  #16749  
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Don't tap on the glass of his enclosure. He doesn't appreciate the fingerprints.
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Old 06-21-21, 09:56 AM
  #16750  
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...as a part of his participation in the witless protection program, he has had surgery to alter his fingerprints. He was given the fingerprints of someone with an IQ of 86, who died in 1992.
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