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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 07-08-20, 11:54 AM
  #14026  
3alarmer
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...when he was in third grade, the teachers nicknamed him "Liberace", because he was the peein'ist. His hand was always in the air, asking for another bathroom hall pass.
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Old 07-08-20, 07:45 PM
  #14027  
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At “Heavenly Rockers Rest” he’s known as the “Limpist”.
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Old 07-08-20, 08:19 PM
  #14028  
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...once strapped explosives to his body and rigged a dead man switch to gain control of the TV remote.
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Old 07-08-20, 09:53 PM
  #14029  
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Being a man of the past and of strong habits, he still gets up off the couch to push the channel button on his TV.
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Old 07-08-20, 10:37 PM
  #14030  
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Being a man of the past in the present he curses the plastic coat hangers for their poor reception.
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Old 07-09-20, 08:03 AM
  #14031  
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Windows in car illegally tinted to hide corn dog addiction.
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Old 07-09-20, 08:30 AM
  #14032  
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Sits in his car at dinner time, and has his wife roller skate out to his car when she brings his food to him.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:09 AM
  #14033  
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Wonders when his family is going to let him out of his double secret quarantine.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:16 AM
  #14034  
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Never.... gets HIS oil changed.
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Old 07-09-20, 11:25 AM
  #14035  
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Is the reason why we can't have nice things here.
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Old 07-09-20, 12:21 PM
  #14036  
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Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
Is the reason why we can't have nice things here.

Whew.. Homerun.

Beat.. that.
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Old 07-09-20, 04:53 PM
  #14037  
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23 and Me test results came back father is Don Knotts.

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Old 07-09-20, 07:08 PM
  #14038  
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Is the secret love child of Clara Edwards and Ernest T. Bass.
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Old 07-09-20, 09:35 PM
  #14039  
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When they do talk with him, his parents say there had to have been a mix up at the hospital when he was born.
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Old 07-09-20, 10:24 PM
  #14040  
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Using his mother's family stories, that she told to him as a kid, as a guide, he's still frustrated to this day with Ancestry .com for their not having a cabbage patch section on their website.
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Old 07-09-20, 10:33 PM
  #14041  
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...when he sits in the bedroom at his computer, surrounded by his extensive collection of Cabbage Patch dolls, it's hard for him to understand why people keep saying, "This is why we can't have nice things."
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Old 07-10-20, 04:22 AM
  #14042  
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Doesn't have a clue about nice things.
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Old 07-10-20, 04:40 AM
  #14043  
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In his contract with Internet Brands, there is a clause in which he is specifically directed to never, under any circumstance, go near the nice things on the forums.
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Old 07-10-20, 07:16 AM
  #14044  
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Labors in his workshop cross breeding a cabbage patch doll with a furby.
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Old 07-10-20, 08:30 AM
  #14045  
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Waiting for marriage or at least til he finds a girl that will let him f her.

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Old 07-10-20, 08:35 AM
  #14046  
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Considers the special edition Slurpee cups from the 7-11 to be the good stuff.
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Old 07-10-20, 08:38 AM
  #14047  
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Is in the Guinness Book of Records for largest collection of Big Gulp cups.
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Old 07-10-20, 09:58 AM
  #14048  
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...he is in the Guinness Book of Records as the owner of the largest and most extensive collection of Guinness empties.
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Old 07-10-20, 02:20 PM
  #14049  
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In the Guinness Book of World Records for the most failed attempts to get in the Guinness Book of World Records...
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Old 07-10-20, 05:59 PM
  #14050  
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Never learned to sew.


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