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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 07-20-20, 12:18 PM
  #14151  
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Is extremely jealous of his neighbors with indoor plumbing.
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Old 07-20-20, 02:41 PM
  #14152  
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Bathes once a year, in the river, whether he needs it or not.
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Old 07-20-20, 06:33 PM
  #14153  
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...bathes.
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Old 07-21-20, 10:50 AM
  #14154  
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He Lies, hide your art.
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Old 07-21-20, 03:05 PM
  #14155  
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Constantly sings Sugar Ray's "Every morning with Captain Morgan.
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Old 07-21-20, 04:31 PM
  #14156  
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Is proud that he and his homeless buddies living in vans down by the river have his and hers portapotties and a washstation. It's not indoor plumbing, but it's close.
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Old 07-21-20, 05:33 PM
  #14157  
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Is smug in the the knowledge that the whole world is a possum potty.
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Old 07-21-20, 09:47 PM
  #14158  
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He will never catch the possum, since he always has to pull down and pull up his pants in the porta potty.
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Old 07-22-20, 01:22 PM
  #14159  
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When he wants to go out without pants, he likes to strap a couple of possums to his thighs so he has pockets.

"Possum pockets are great!" he tells Mandy B. Esse, street beat scribe for Swampy Times and Herald, "Keeps you change and wallet handy but after a while the wallet starts to smell pretty ripe, like possum, you know?"
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Old 07-22-20, 01:33 PM
  #14160  
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If he had a pouch he'd want one on each leg like cargo shorts. And flaps so when he hangs by his tail he doesn't lose anything out of the pouches.
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Old 07-22-20, 06:36 PM
  #14161  
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...when startled, like most possums he plays dead. Unlike most possums, he lets out a shout of "Consarn it !!", right before he faints away.
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Old 07-23-20, 08:50 AM
  #14162  
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...as a person who regularly communicates with a possum here on Biekforrroms, he is mightily offended by the concept of "bush meat".
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Old 07-23-20, 01:27 PM
  #14163  
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Thinks he can live a possum free life.
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Old 07-23-20, 01:59 PM
  #14164  
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...his pants free lifestyle has now been called into question in both Costco and Walmart, where because of the current pandemic he was told to "Pants up, or leave the store, sir." Grudgingly, he put on a pair of pants he carries in his backpack for just these occasions, but he only pulled them up to just below his crotch, like this.

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Old 07-23-20, 09:31 PM
  #14165  
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Just cannot say no to crack, especially when he's hanging out with his plumber friends.
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Old 07-23-20, 10:40 PM
  #14166  
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His crack spork is well twisted from heavy use as he appreciates the grip of the tines on his nostrils.
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Old 07-24-20, 04:43 AM
  #14167  
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Will give up his spork when they pry it from his cold turgid hands.
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Old 07-24-20, 05:07 AM
  #14168  
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Failed the test to get a license to carry a concealed spork.
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Old 07-24-20, 08:49 AM
  #14169  
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...his definitive treatise on the spork, "The Spork in Human History: a philosophical and historical analysis", has changed many lives.
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Old 07-24-20, 05:11 PM
  #14170  
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While others were hoarding toilet paper this year he was adding to his already impressive stash of sporks.
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Old 07-24-20, 07:30 PM
  #14171  
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Invited me into his trailer today to show me his shrine to Colonel Sanders who he worships as the Patron Saint of Sporks.

In the drawer he keeps buds of what he refers to as "Secret Herbs and Spices".

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Old 07-24-20, 10:33 PM
  #14172  
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...has named his new breakaway, end of days, monastic sect "The Order of the Apocalyptic Fryers." They are, of course, celibate. Which is not a big deal.
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Old 07-25-20, 08:07 AM
  #14173  
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Was kicked out of the local monastery after numerous warnings about spilling his fryer oil all over the floor, while in the process of choking the chicken
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Old 07-25-20, 12:01 PM
  #14174  
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Recently promoted to Department Chairman,the College of Advanced Spork Design at the University of Kentucky.

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Old 07-25-20, 12:49 PM
  #14175  
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...his recent autobiographical memoir, "It's Not About the Tines", was at the top of the Amazon best seller list until the spooning scandal broke.
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