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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 07-25-20, 01:09 PM
  #14176  
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Is still scooping up numerous awards, critical fame, and royalties from his best selling novel "Plan Tine from the Outer Banks".
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Old 07-25-20, 01:59 PM
  #14177  
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His Micro-Ag YouTube special Poke, Drag, & Scoop demonstrates cookie sheet farming with 40” and a spork. He says ”Ploughing the back 40 has really improved my chicken choking techniques”.
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Old 07-25-20, 04:54 PM
  #14178  
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Is including a free spork with a purchase of jumbo sized lies.
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Old 07-25-20, 07:04 PM
  #14179  
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...whenever he goes into KFC, he likes to shout out, "A spork ! A spork ! My kingdom for a spork !!" He still gets some laughs, even after all these years.
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Old 07-26-20, 06:58 AM
  #14180  
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Is feared on his cell-block for the razor sharp shiv he made from a spork and his eager willingness to use it.
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Old 07-26-20, 08:14 AM
  #14181  
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...of all the delicious lies he concocts in his secret kitchen laboratory of confabulation, the slanderous lies are not the most flavorful.
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Old 07-26-20, 09:32 AM
  #14182  
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Of all the fib joints in all the towns in all the world he walks into ours.
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Old 07-26-20, 10:39 AM
  #14183  
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...he's not one of the usual suspects, always getting rounded up and stuck in police lineups.
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Old 07-26-20, 11:29 AM
  #14184  
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Went to a drive-in movie last night for a double feature; he saw "The Spork That Ate New York" and "Bride of Spork"...
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Old 07-26-20, 02:05 PM
  #14185  
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Limits his culinary choices to establishments that use his beloved sporks. Which is why the local KFC has the Ahsposo special: the family bucket deal with a bib and 2 sporks so he can shovel the taters and cole slaw in faster. And a request from the staff to go away and eat so he won't chase away more customers.
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Old 07-26-20, 02:17 PM
  #14186  
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Owns a frame under glass, platinum spork collection of all the states, and territories.
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Old 07-26-20, 02:41 PM
  #14187  
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Autoclaving his fetish sporks is his gift to social distancing.
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Old 07-26-20, 06:06 PM
  #14188  
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...in real life, he is a fictional character, so obscure that you've never heard of him.
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Old 07-26-20, 06:32 PM
  #14189  
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His last movie credit was so small, that it took a vast field of microscopy engineers many weeks to finally detect it.
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Old 07-26-20, 10:56 PM
  #14190  
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...he can trace his ancestry all the way back to the Rosencrantz family in 16th Century Denmark.
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Old 07-27-20, 03:17 AM
  #14191  
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23 and Me pinpoints his genetic origins to a biology lab at the University of Alabama shortly after WW2. Apparently there was a night the lab was invaded by members of the I Needa Ho fraternity and several female chimps were molested in the hi-jinks that ensued. Interestingly, there is some evidence of fruit fly genes also...
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Old 07-27-20, 08:54 AM
  #14192  
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...thinks 23 and Me is an escort service in Atlanta.
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Old 07-27-20, 02:45 PM
  #14193  
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23 and me gave his family a big discount since their genes are almost exactly the same. Their discount code is incest.
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Old 07-27-20, 03:14 PM
  #14194  
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23 and Me was his family's party phone line number when he lived back in the Appalachia holler.
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Old 07-27-20, 06:11 PM
  #14195  
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...believes firmly that incest is better than no cest at all.
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Old 07-28-20, 05:31 AM
  #14196  
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His parents were so poor they could only afford to give him 22 chromosomes.

"Hey! But I turned out okay!" he signaled with his fourth tentacle...
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Old 07-28-20, 07:29 AM
  #14197  
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His family was so poor, that his parents had to split their DNA between his two dozens siblings, and with him being the last child. His father continually lamented that " He's always been talking out of his ass since birth".
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Old 07-28-20, 10:07 AM
  #14198  
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...in real life, he is one of the four Yorkshiremen.
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Old 07-28-20, 12:44 PM
  #14199  
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If his van down by the river didn't say free candy on it he would have a spork life sticker instead.

Last edited by no motor?; 07-28-20 at 03:59 PM.
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Old 07-28-20, 01:57 PM
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...thinks I'm lucky to have a van down by the river to live in. When he was a boy, he and his eleven brothers all lived in a Volkswagon beatle, and it was parked under a freeway ramp overpass.
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