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Post a Lie about the poster above - Volume 2

Old 05-06-21, 08:13 AM
  #16426  
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Aspires to achieve puny Earthling status.
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Old 05-06-21, 12:25 PM
  #16427  
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Gave me an iTunes gift card at my retirement party
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Old 05-06-21, 12:26 PM
  #16428  
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Has marbles for eyes
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Old 05-06-21, 12:53 PM
  #16429  
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he likes to carry marbles around in his pocket. it's cumbersome and noisy, but it sure makes for an exciting chase with the po po
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Old 05-06-21, 02:53 PM
  #16430  
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Congratulations thook !

Our own very special @thook has been selected as Poster Boy for The Afflicted.
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Old 05-06-21, 11:51 PM
  #16431  
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early this morning FBI investigators raided a local warehouse in bocksarocks, illinois after receiving several anonymous tips from local residents suspicious of it being a low profile hub for human trafficking. after breaking through a heavily locked door of a small corner room, one middle aged man was found sitting in a chair at a computer with dozens of polaroids upon the walls depicting him bound and gagged in multiple unidentifiable locations. immediate critical investigations began in efforts to apprehend anyone who could be responsible for such cruel and heinous actions. evidence from the scene found outside the corner room included keys to the room, a polaroid camera, duck tape, and empty gatorade bottles in a small, odorous gym bag with an unknown name embroidered upon the side. however, after several hours of questioning, it was discovered the bag belong to the man and he had, in fact, accidentally locked himself in the room. and, in rather unusual case of dumb luck, it was concluded that the man....know only as "ahsposo".. had actually been kidnapping himself. when asked of his motivations for such depravity, all he had to say was,"whuddya mean?"
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Old 05-07-21, 12:20 AM
  #16432  
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ate too much acid but refused to drink the Kool-Aid
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Old 05-07-21, 04:23 AM
  #16433  
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Is the white sheep of his family.
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Old 05-07-21, 05:03 AM
  #16434  
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He was the inspiration behind Tom Hank's movie, Castaway, but the producers had to clean it up a little for selling it to the general public.

You see the real story goes like this. After his plane went down, Ahsposo was stranded on a deserted island with a sheep, two sheep dogs, and a volleyball named Wilson. After a while, the sheep started to look pretty good, and Ahsposo tried to have sex with the sheep. Every time he tried it, the dogs would chase him away and Wilson just sat there watching.

This went on for a year, and then one day, another plane crashed. He swam out to rescue a beautiful woman, clinging for her life to a piece of wreckage. When they got to shore, she kissed him and thanked him. She said that if he wanted anything all he had to do was ask. He stared down at her voluptuous full breasts, and her gorgeous blue eyes, and said, "Hey, can you keep a couple dogs busy for a minute or two?"
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Old 05-07-21, 05:13 AM
  #16435  
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...one of his many alternate personalities is H. (Henry) Higgins (AKA as "Professor" Higgins).
Whenever that personality is driving the bus, he keeps repeating, "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."
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Old 05-07-21, 05:14 AM
  #16436  
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...I think he's got it. By George he's got it.
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Old 05-07-21, 07:59 AM
  #16437  
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is celebrating "No Pants Day" by donating all of his pants to Goodwill.
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Old 05-07-21, 12:29 PM
  #16438  
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will be sure to shop at the goodwill after "no pants day". he doesn't wear them. he's just hoarding
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Old 05-07-21, 01:25 PM
  #16439  
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...he has this idea for a pantsless pride parade to celebrate "No Pants Day". He's hoping it will take off nationally, next year or the year afterward.
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Old 05-07-21, 06:36 PM
  #16440  
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his pantsless pride is in his zero tan line
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Old 05-07-21, 06:40 PM
  #16441  
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Still trying to figure out who wears the pants in the family. Its an ongoing argument. Momma won't let him wear long pants anyway.
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Old 05-07-21, 06:46 PM
  #16442  
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his lies are like his pants; legless.....and crotchless
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Old 05-07-21, 06:50 PM
  #16443  
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always stands in front of the mirror debating whether or not to wear pants. he never wears them. he just likes the conversation
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Old 05-07-21, 06:59 PM
  #16444  
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Doesn't like mirrors because there's always this weird looking dude staring back at him.
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Old 05-07-21, 07:15 PM
  #16445  
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...still remembers the Halloween he dressed up as the Queen's magic mirror on the wall. He told 17 different women they were the fairest one of all. The whole time he was snickering inside his costume, secure in the knowledge those were all lies, because he's the fairest of them all.
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Old 05-07-21, 07:52 PM
  #16446  
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imagines blank lies thread posts when with his wife
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Old 05-07-21, 08:11 PM
  #16447  
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lies to his wife says he's thinkin' of another woman. really he's thinkin' about his next post in the lies thread
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Old 05-08-21, 05:17 AM
  #16448  
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When he was a toddler and his mom played peek-a-boo with him, he would cheat.
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Old 05-08-21, 05:34 AM
  #16449  
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plays peek-a-boo in the mirror wearing a disguise. he's not sure who he's playing with, but whoever it is... he'd sure like her number!

Last edited by thook; 05-08-21 at 05:38 AM.
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Old 05-08-21, 11:46 AM
  #16450  
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It ain't over until he sings.
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