mthayer

I totally get where your coming from. I live in a smaller town, 3000 people and I got mocked, made fun of, and was teased/harrassed because I rode my bike. It was not normal for people to see someone riding the main roads getting exercise and doing something the like. I became recognized as the guy who rode his bike all over town. People started giving me more room on the road, and would eventually ask questions about why I ride my bike everywhere, and started to get to know who I really was. They figured out I was just liked to ride my bike.

I started my journey of riding on a $5 mtb from a garage sale. My first ride was 1 mile and I was hurting afterwards. I kept at it, and the rides got longer and harder over time. What motivated me was people saying that I couldn't ride a bike. I rode the hell of that bike and I was able to eventually upgrade to bikes that I wanted.

If someone says I can't do something, I make it a point to do it. I started doing triathlons bevause some made a comment that I was to fat to do it. I do it to spite people and find that I like doing sports that I would have never got into. Find what motivates you and use iit to keep going.

ScottStr

Ifind myself wanting to click Like more and more when I'm here. Maybe the board should add that.

Daniel Frost

I know how you feel, when I first started I was very concious but then I started meeting cyclists/triathletes of all sizes and found out everyone was conscious of something but they all talked to me and are bllody great people. Even my wife has got used to me in lycra

Crazydad

Never feel embarrassed for trying to better yourself. Will there be people that try to make fun of you because they see a fat person on a bike? Yes, but people like that will act that way towards anyone who is different from them. They are small minded and should be pitied. Just keep doing what you are doing and never mind what others think.

As far as skills, like anything they come with practice. But do not let those doubts stop you from trying new things. In the past 2 months I have done a mountain bike race and a century. On the mtb race, I am at the start with guys that obviously are very serious racers and was a little intimidated. But my main goal was just to finish and if possible do it under a certain time and not be dead last. I did all 3 (was 2nd to last ). On the century, unfortunately I did not finish, but I did make it 76 miles (longest ride ever!) and learned a whole lot for the next one.

The best part is my kids are seeing me get out of my comfort zone to get better and get in better shape. That is the best part for me, setting a good example to them by pushing myself harder than ever, even if I fail in the first (or second, third, etc.) attempt.

contango 

76 miles = 122.3km. A metric century might not have been your initial goal but it's not a bad consolation prize

Neil_B

One of the best pieces of advice I've been given on cycling took place on a winter hike with a couple of Bike Club of Philadelphia members. I'd ridden a bike a total of four times in my life by that point. Aside from learning the skills, I needed to overcome the squemishness about appearing in tight fitting clothing. (When I was 400 pounds I not only worse loose fitting clothing but tried to be neat in my appearance to avoid the word "slob" immediately following "fat.")

As I hiked with Barb and Rich, we discussed cycling. I think Barb sensed I had reservations about cycling clothing, and she brought the subject up. "Bike clothes look affected to many people, but everything about them is functional." We discussed some of those functions as we walked - the tightness, the bright colors..... by the end of the hike I was persuaded. And that night I was reading up on bib shorts here on Bike Forums. Soon enough I was shocking people at my gym and not caring......

BigHuf

I think its been said a few different ways and a few times, but the simple fact is people like that HAVE to pick on you because they know your being superior. you might be fat, I am, I was at the beginning of the year "morbidly obease"

when people of low self esteem see people trying to better themselves there is a strong desire to keep that person from accomplishing their goals, thus proving we are all the same loser failures they are. you must remember that the bottom line is they aren't putting you down they are trying to keep you down with them. Just like any hill your challenged with, remember your better than it is and you will make it to the top(sometimes you walk, sometimes you ride, but either way you made it)

you cannot forget that the human condition calls for dominance, and you are making people who are too lazy or stupid to better themselves jealous of your drive and determination. if you keep thinking of them in this light, I can smile every time knowing every rotation is me pulling away from them, fat or not I am bettering myself, what did they do today?

"I'm sorry you didn't accomplish your goals, don't take it out on me." dont say it, they aren't worth the breaths, but the fact remains this is where it stands. if you bothered to say it you would probably realize they were too stupid to understand how true it was.

You are better than them, you don't need to worry about what they think, your already winning that race. good luck and happy riding.

Neil_B

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

bigbadwullf

Is that not doing the same thing? I know what you are saying but spouting off about people being dumb is doing the same thing......in my boat.

BigHuf

loool I dont consider a smile the same as yelling at someone, but if you want to take it to the extreme, I will say no, its realizing that the answer to the question is nothing. if it wasn't they wouldn't have put yuo in a position to judge them. I don't have a problem feeling better than someone else, and assuming its not projected outward, its not horribly unhealthy to make an unhealthy situation a growth moment.

I am better than them for not SAYING it. if the gavel is drawn for me to be judged, I have no issue at all having some opinion in the matter.. I think the alternative is to give some ******* the power of not disagreeing, which basically means you agree with them..i don't think I'm a fat looser for getting on a bike and bettering myself, do you? if you dont feel a need to correct that concept in your own mind its ok. I dont attack people for no reason, but if I am judged wrongly I have no issue having and speaking my opinions. and my opinion is someone who would yell at me for bettering myself is a low self esteem looser who is trying to not feel like they have lost their self respect by insulting a stranger to build themselves up. if I so choose to build off their attack rather than succumb to it I would consider that far healthier than pretending it does not bother me. you do for you, I do for me.

added- most states agree that hitting or killing someone in self-defense is acceptable behavior, but hitting first or murdering someone isnt. I think that if someone is attacking you verbally or physically, defending yourself in the same manner is more than acceptable as well.

bigbadwullf

Sounds like you are wearing quite a large chip on your shoulder. Sorry.
1) None of them held a gun to your head to get you to the point you are in. You did it to yourself.
2) Maybe you should take the position of thanking them for being rude and motivating you.

I'm not saying they are right. I'm not agreeing with them. And I'm certainly not agreeing with you calling them stupid out of your own embarrassment. You got yourself in this mess and you need to get yourself out. Yes, they shouldn't do it. But I'm sorry, that is just human nature. There is nothing lashing out about it that you are going to change. Sorry but that is the simple truth of the matter.
I applaud you for what you are doing. You should applaud yourself. But you need to take a step back and let that chip fall before it does more damage to you, someone we all care about.

BigHuf

maybe i do, maybe I don't but since you are making it personal I am going to stop helping you be a troll

BigHuf

lool wonderful edit.. adding all that post response. ok.. yes I got myself here, i'm fat, they are stupid. and they are... anyone in their right mind wouldn't yell profanities or names out the window, its not an intelligent act. I do not have a chip, I am quite sure of that. i am not a patient man when it comes to games of idiocy, that isn't having a chip. you want to put me in a little wedge of the reality you have thats fine, I call you a troll for it. I did lazilly eat my way to obesity, so what? I wasn't unhappy as a fat person either, one day I became unhappy when I meerly lacked the energy to keep up with my 3 y/o son. I am an intelligent and boisterous person, but that does not equate to a chip. you want me to be broken so you can "help" me be more like you, but I dont want to be like you, I want to be like me. as I said already, do for you, I do for me. me putting myself above something in my mind obviously is unsettling to you, and I would say I see you as projecting your shortcomings onto me, and I hope you can fix that some day.

-added because this bothers me alot
So what your saying is, roll over and take it because I'm fat? lool ok. we have a fundamental difference in views here, you are obviously the guy in the car and you have done this sort of thing, because only someone who partakes in such behavior would ever tell someone they shouldn't have a feeling about such a thing. I get it, your were a mean kid at some point in your life and me bashing some other stupid kid hit home and your racing to make yourself feel better... lool, I forgive you.

goldfinch

I have this thing about blame and fault. I truly believe everyone does the best they can with the cards they are dealt. I don't blame myself for being overweight. It is a frequent condition of modern living. I am not worse or better person than the skinny woman. However, even though I do not consider any of us as being blameworthy, we still have to deal with the fact that we ended up fat and out of shape and magic wands won't cure that. I am proud of all of us here working at losing weight and exercising and seizing the day. We are also lucky to have found the motivation to do these things. Many if not most fat people will not. I don't blame them either. I haven't walked in their shoes.

As far as the jerks, I am glad I am not living their lives. I have no question that I am luckier than they are. But I am human. I can still think of them as jerks.

FWIW.

Nightshade

Pull the log from your own eye before you worry about the splinter in someone else's eye.

Your response was not only unkind but just plain mean in both tone and spirit.

That said, it's open to question if we need a member with your talent to disrespect other people with such ease.

Onedayrider

1) Don't even think about "the norm." "The norm" if for like 60% of the population to be overweight couch potatos!
2) All fast riders were slow riders once.
3) If you need to walk - walk. Especially up hills. No sense blowing your knees out. Soon you will flatten those hills and sail up them!
4) Your bike will be fine. I started 2010 at 305#'s on a road bike that i bought in 1985 - and it wasn't exactly top-of-the-line either. Went 2300 miles last year on it. Too many flats and a few broken spokes, but otherwise no problem!

I like that you posted this, because although I don't let it stop me, I still sort of feel funny when dressed in cycling stuff - and I've lost over 40 #'s! Seeing all the responses reminds me that I'm being foolish!

seypat

If you are really worried about the tight clothing go with something like this:

https://www.aerotechdesigns.com/baggy_bike_shorts.htm

I ordered lots of stuff from this company. It is quality gear at a decent price.

WJordan

Wow what a read this thread has been! I feel each and every post here in what all are saying. Also some very good points said to think on.

Only time I have rode my bike is in the mornings while most people are at work and ride back roads so very few will see me. And in the afternoon and evenings, my bike stays in the garage. Many nice evenings I would have loved to get out and enjoy the evening biking. But we have neighbors cross the street from me with kids. I remember when I was a kid how kids can laugh and make jokes at people. I haven't been able to make myself ride down the driveway yet when they are home.

Nightshade

Oh my! Life is way to short to let your peers control what you do. If the truth were known 'they" have problems too! So get that bike out and ride like the wind......anytime YOU want to!

Neil_B

Do you really care about the opinions of people who aren't old enough to drink, vote, or drive?

BTW, I got yelled at by kids on a school bus in Hamburg on Thursday during my ride. All I could think of is what bad parents they must have.

adxdopefish

I used to be similar to you, WJordan. I would sit and worry about what other people would think if I were to partake in a particular event, or try something out of the ordinary. So I would end up doing all the same things that all the other boring sheep would do so as to appear normal, or ordinary. Or I would stay at home or within the confines of the company of close friends.

It didn't happen overnight, but there were things that I wanted to do, and holding myself back was eating away at me. Over a matter of a few years I slowly managed to stop caring about what other people think. Essentially, an attitude of "I'm going to go and do this, if you're interested then come along. If you're not, don't. I'm going regardless".

Life is so much better. The thing you realise is that nothing in your life really changes. You keep the same friends, you do all the same things in addition to the new things, but the stress is lifted. You don't realise how heavy the weight of that stress is until it is gone.

Wjordan, for the sake of your sanity and quality of life, I would highly recommend developing a similar attitude! And knowing that you love your bike, that is the exact place I would start. The next time you see your neighbours out there watering their lawn or something, just jump on the bike, ride out of your place, give them a wave and have some fun!

Sorry about the long rant. I had written a couple more paragraphs but after reading them I realised I had started to go off topic. I'll bring up further points if the need arises. I believe what I have said above is very important to each and every persons quality of life.

big_al

I was right around 298 when I started riding again I now weight 265 or so. I still feel alot like how you feel specially when the roadies blow past me on the bike lanes. I am cruising right around 16-17 mph when I started i could barely hold 9 mph it is my motivation to keep losing the fat suit and eventually be a success story and ride as fast as they do it is my inspiration. Ride and ride the weight will come off and you will get faster with experience..
Good luck

WJordan

Thanks!!!! Each of you are right, and I really do deep down know all that's been said is right. Don't know what else to say, I will work hard at it. I won't let it beat me. I can't let it beat me. I need the exercise real bad that my bike can give me.

WJordan

Update: What a waste 1 1/2 months has been that I could have been riding when I wanted too.
I gave in, scared as I was, I made myself ride my bike out of the garage and down the driveway, hit the street and rolled on down the road. Neighbors kids were out side and their mother. Guess what I got....

"Hey, cool bike"
Oh man... I wanted to drop my bottom lip and run over it. To think it went so good. But guess I really should have known. The parents are our friends and their kids are pretty good kids with good raising as their parents stay on track of what their kids do, unlike many parents today don't. Thanks guys! I maybe wouldn't have ever done it if not for this thread.
One more step forward!!

CraigB

Great for you. You'll find more of those moments as you continue along this path. Like the first time you wear bike shorts. All it takes is just enough gumption to get you over those bumps, and they recede to nothing in your rearview mirror pretty quickly.