seypat

Why not? There seems to be lots of people out there with epic stories to tell.

genejockey 

Looks given, hamers droped, 400w dialed up to.....

Koyote

This thread might be a good idea. We can just aggregate all of the mocking here, and reduce the pollution in other treads.

Here are a couple other 'aggregator' thread ideas:

--Recumbents and Trikes: why they rock!
--What I found in the dumpster today
--I bought a bike on CL -- did I get a good deal?
--Is this just a scratch, or is my cf frame broken?

Bah Humbug

Aggregator or aggravator?

eduskator

You forgot : Tubeless sucks, I rolled on a big piece of broken glass and it didn't even seal it.

Mojo31

I passed a guy once, and dropped him like a hot rock.










Of course, he was on the side of the road fixing a flat.

LarrySellerz

The food chain: where do you stand in the system

1. Scooters
2. Roadies with shaved legs
3. Proper rapid single speeds (real men, messengers, tarty shiny fixies)
4. Roadies with hairy legs
5. Faux single speeds (fakenegers, dirty/dysfunctional bikes, silly egg beater gear)
6. Touring bikes (mud gaurds)
7. "fast hybrids"
8. MTBs on skinnies
9. MTB on knobbies
10. Bromptoms/collapsing bikes
11. MTB full sus on knobbies
12. shoppers
13. shoppers whicker basket
14. electric bikes

If you can scalp someone higher up on the food chain then you get a point

jsigone

nice list Larry

datlas 

I WAS ON a RECOVERY RIDE!!!!

tomato coupe

That list is like the points list for Quidditch - it’s all meaningless because the ultimate winner is the one who catches the Golden Snitch, I.e. the half-full bottle of vodka from a dumpster.

LarrySellerz

? you can catch the snitch and still lose the game.. it happened to Bulgaria and it could happen to you

tomato coupe

No, because I’m neither a Cat 6 racer nor a dumpster diver.

genejockey 

Is that a Star-Bellied Snitch, or a Regular-Bellied Snitch?

seypat

What, no takers yet? I guess i'll post something to get the memories jogged.

Back about 10-12 years ago, I was starting this late August century that went from Ashland VA to Tappahannock VA and back. As the peloton rolled out, one of my tires went flat. I got it changed and took off. About 20 miles in, 2 riders came out of a convience store as I was passing by. A short time later, they caught me at the top of as hill.(As most people do) It was a couple of scrawny climbers. As the terrain flattened out, I started going through the gears and pulling away. One of them started whining, "Slow down. Help us out. If we work together, we can all get down the road faster." So, I slowed down and we began to pace. A few miles down the road, we hit another decent hill. Those 2 stomped on it and tried to drop me like a bad habit. I said, "Woah fellas, where you going? What happened to this work together idea?" They said, "Don't care, if you can't hold our wheels, that's your problem." They gapped me about 100 yards by the time I crested the hill. The terrain flattened out again and it was on! For the next 15-20 miles the lead would seesaw back and forth with me passing on the flats and getting passed on the hills. With each passing the leader/s would give the look to the chaser/s. About 2-3 miles from the halfway/turnaround/ lunch point we encountered a longish hill and they left me in the dust. I crested the hill and they were not in sight. Crested another hill and I could see the destination off in the distance with a long flat run in to it. I traced back and found them about 500 yards in front. It was on again. I mounted this furious effort to catch them before the break. I was gaining rapidly and they turned around and spotted me also. They stepped on it and were not going to be overtaken. I was still gaining quickly. Getting closer...getting closer.... They get out of the saddle into sprint mode. Still gaining...about 30 yards behind. Run out of real estate and they are victorious! I dismount and get in line for the barbeque sandwich plate behind them. We all 3 don't acknowledge the others. It's as if someone broke wind and people ignore it. I eat my lunch then got going back the other way.

seypat

That ended up being the highlight of the day. On the way back, my phone died. I took a wrong turn and got lost. Took a lot of time/miles to get unlost. Ended up doing 155-158 total miles before I got back to the start/finish. They were breaking down the tents and canopies as I rolled in. The only food left was some cold fried chicken. As I was sitting there licking my wounds and knawing on a leg, I was thinking, "If I had to go another 20, I think I could do it." 8 miles earlier though, I was thinking, "If my phone was working, I'd call for the SAG wagon."

urbanknight

I am the undisputed Busway Bike Path champion. Rode it clear across the valley without getting passed by anyone, and thoroughly enjoyed calling "ON YER LEFT" frequently.

urbanknight

Dang, I'm a 4 and I get passed by 11's all the time.

Where do commuting day laborers on Huffys fit in? They pass me too.

ooga-booga

where should recumbents get slotted into the "food chain?" thinking in the 2-4 range...cruisers at 12?

Broctoon

2 to 4? Do you mean full fairing 'bents, like a velo mobile? Even those things, which are a pretty cool niche invention, and especially open air bikes/trikes that put your legs out front: fast on descents and not bad on flats, but slow as cold molasses on steep climbs. I think they race in Cat 7 or something.

LarrySellerz

Bents are overpowered and banned, but people who ride bents tend to be elderly or injured. It's a mixed bag. To be honest people riding bents usually seem to be having a great time so in a way they are winning. To stay on topic, those elderly recumbent riders are still fair game; a drop is a drop.

Koyote

Picking on old people is mean, but I'll overlook it if we're talking about a certain recumbent rider here on bf.

downtube42

In the original silly commuter racing points system, you had a base score then got points added or subtracted based on add-ons. Beards added, lycra subtracted. One could pile on the points with gym shorts, beard, fenders, hairy legs, and tennis shoes, and go score some scalps against proper roadies.

'bent vs wedgie is a little complicated, similar to tandem vs single on terrain. I ride both. I think you just call it a wash and score them the same. But to an earlier point, I'm old and fat with a bad back; put a strong fit rider on a performance 'bent and you see a different outcome. That just doesn't happen very often. I see someone did 40:22 on the Oregon Six Passes SR600 on a 'bent - 5 hours faster than anyone else. Oh my.

Bald Paul

I was riding along at a comfortable pace when another rider came up behind me on my wheel and started to draft without asking. I gradually ramped up the watts, and danged if he didn't as well. He started to pull up alongside, but I yelled out "No Way, Buddy!" and put the hammer down. Then we came up to a tight turn, and I pinched him off in the corner, but somehow he didn't go down. I called him every dirty name in the book until he finally peeled off onto a different road at a fork.
Sometimes those Zwift rides can get pretty intense.

Maelochs

I thought this was where we post about beating people who didn't know they were racing?

LarrySellerz

Saw an older women cruising along at like 19 MPH with seemingly little effort on an old heavy metal bike with fenders and a front basket, right behind her was this dude in full kit on a CF bike clearly struggling to avoid getting dropped. It was pretty funny, I yelled out "a race for the ages" and she laughed, she knew she was scalping him