The Zero bike
08-04-17, 02:36 PM
#1
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The Zero bike
We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
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If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
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08-04-17, 03:01 PM
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This is new to you?
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
When karma gifted me the Zeus, the wife learned that "it's headed out to Port Angeles." A 100% true statement, for now.
Then there's the one at my sister's, and one at a brother's house.
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08-04-17, 03:09 PM
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I would store one in Portland, but which one? Maybe it should be two....or N+1.
shame @gugie is so short.....and hates o-rings.
shame @gugie is so short.....and hates o-rings.
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08-04-17, 03:34 PM
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I have a zero bike, just didn't know that's what it was. This is in Phoenix patiently awaiting my next visit:
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
Because I don't have the burden of justifying my purchases to anyone, my zero bike is pretty much just to have a personal bike at a place I visit fairly often. That's good enough for me
DD
08-04-17, 03:41 PM
#5
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We all know what n+1 means.
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
So I'm texting a buddy of mine awhile back, telling him I'm travelling down to his neck of the woods on business, and thinking of shipping a bike down. I've got enough not to miss one up here. My new job probably means I'd be down his way a few times a year and miss riding, so why not keep it in his garage? My own personal "visitors" bike, as it were. Somehow my text spell checker changes a word, not sure I remember what I was trying to say, to "zero", so the text came out as something like "I'll send a zero bike down to you.". He thought, yeah, a zero bike, as the one your wife doesn't know about cause you store it at a friend's house.
So I'm thinking this may be a loophole I've discovered. When you start to approach the dreaded s-1, all you need is a friend in the same situation. When no one's looking, swap a couple of bikes. Next time the significant other asks why you need so many bikes, and you've run out of standard excuses (that one's my commuter, that one's for dirt, that one's blue...) you can just tell her, "naw, that's so-and-so's bike, he just left it here the other day".
You're riding with that buddy often enough that you just go over "to visit", but you're really going riding.
I think I've discovered an important theorem here, thusly,
n+0=n
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Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
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Commence to jigglin’ huh?!?!
"But hey, always love to hear from opinionated amateurs." -says some guy to Mr. Marshall.
08-04-17, 04:16 PM
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That's nothing. Try doing it with cars. I currently have an Austin Healey in my friend's garage.
08-04-17, 04:43 PM
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Back when I was commuting on CalTrain up and down the peninsula to various teaching gigs, I'd leave bikes parked at the train stations, which I'd use to complete my commute.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
Hmm, I might have even left a few there some 27 years ago.
08-04-17, 05:22 PM
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Haha, I like the term. I keep a bike at work just to relieve some space at home, kinda of similar, but it doesn't count as zero because those close to me knew damn well why it's here.
08-04-17, 06:41 PM
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It's a Zero bike.
__________________
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-04-17, 08:57 PM
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Here's my very 'zero bike' in Arkansas.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
No pic of the nearly-Nashville 'zero bike'.
If it's NOT in my signature line, it's ZERO.
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08-04-17, 10:26 PM
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● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
08-05-17, 12:10 AM
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My brother is in town in a couple days and wants to visit the Kitsap Peninsula. Hmmm...
DD
08-05-17, 03:16 AM
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Never underestimate your significant other's ability to see through a veil of BS(advice from a guy who has been married to the same gal for 49 years).
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
If there is such a thing as a Zero bike, then this early eighties Bianchi is the only one I can claim ownership of, and it waits for me in the hills of Jamaica...
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"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
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08-05-17, 05:56 AM
#14
Disraeli Gears
I don't know, subterfuges to get around the SO, and increasing clutter at a friend's abode, sound like a good way to lose both the SO and the friend . . . for some, making complicated plans for going to the mattresses ends up at sleeping with the fishes.
Last edited by Charles Wahl; 08-05-17 at 06:08 AM.
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08-05-17, 12:22 PM
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I suppose the cycling corollary to that could be "A good friend will help you hide; a really good friend will help you hide a bicycle."
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● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
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08-05-17, 12:56 PM
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I like your math, @gugie.
08-06-17, 07:16 PM
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08-06-17, 07:21 PM
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I have 0+0=0
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08-06-17, 09:46 PM
#19
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I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
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08-07-17, 01:09 AM
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I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there. I like mine all too much to be far away, 'detached,' from them. 'Twould make me quite sad. No abandoning things that I have set out to rescue, keep, and maintain!
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
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● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
● 1971 Grandis SL ● 1972 Lambert Grand Prix frankenbike ● 1972 Raleigh Super Course fixie ● 1973 Nishiki Semi-Pro ● 1979 Motobecane Grand Jubile ●1980 Apollo "Legnano" ● 1984 Peugeot Vagabond ● 1985 Shogun Prairie Breaker ● 1986 Merckx Super Corsa ● 1987 Schwinn Tempo ● 1988 Schwinn Voyageur ● 1989 Bottechia Team ADR replica ● 1990 Cannondale ST600 ● 1993 Technium RT600 ● 1996 Kona Lava Dome ●
Last edited by Lascauxcaveman; 08-07-17 at 01:12 AM.
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08-07-17, 05:07 AM
#21
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I may not be old enough or there enough mentally, but I couldn't do a zero bike even if the opportunity is there.
Taking a bike with me on an airplane cost quite a bit, there and back.
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"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
"98% of the bikes I buy are projects".
08-07-17, 05:27 AM
#22
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. I'd rather haul a bike around the get one discovered I had hidden from the wife (only 41 years in our case
) And, I ain't ever flying with a bike ever again, after last April's molestation by AA when I had followed every single point in their "bike in case as checked luggage" trap. Still hit me up for oversized and delicate charges, never again. I'll drive for days before I fly anywhere on an airline. Money hungry, power mad cretins. /end rant mode/
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I Can Do All Things Through Him, Who Gives Me Strength. Philippians 4:13
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I Can Do All Things Through Him, Who Gives Me Strength. Philippians 4:13
08-07-17, 01:57 PM
#23
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My wife doesn't have an inventory of my bikes (whose does?) but she sees a pile and does notice when there's another one. Moving one out to a friend's house creates an empty hook in the garage...
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If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
If someone tells you that you have enough bicycles and you don't need any more, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
08-07-17, 02:43 PM
#24
Full Member
Ah, but parting is such sweet sorrow.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
Four, five times a year, when I visit my inlaws' house in Gig Harbor, I get reunited with this beauty:
It's my "zero bike," and she has my full attention when I am there. Very nearly the perfect bike for the local terrain, I can hardly wait to get reacquainted with her each time I'm out there. I like my inlaws well enough, but they basically sit around the house all day every day, and this bike transports me from that.
EDIT: I wish I had a place to stash a couple bikes. I have two new ones showing up that I haven't confessed to yet....
08-07-17, 03:35 PM
#25
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I understand that most of this thread is tongue-in-cheek but there is a facet of it that comes off a bit pathetic.
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