cudak888 

You know, sometimes you wake up in the morning and say "why do I have so many bikes?" Then you promptly call the doctor and get back into bed.

But sometimes you follow through from your slumber, and - in a fit of troubling sanity - you engage in sacrilegious mathematics such as N = N - 1 and utter words of delirium such as "I should think of my finances."

As such, I have decided to put up for offer my humble collection of Raleigh Sports. As you know, these are the best bicycle ever conceived to see the unworthy soles of our shoes. This collection includes a 1950 Raleigh Superbe, which can be only described as "green," my trusty 1951 Raleigh Sports built 16 years ago and subject of build threads long devoured into the mist by the forum servers of yore, and a 1952 Raleigh Sports, which...is just a better example of my 1951. Rounding out the fleet is the red-headed stepchild of the bunch, my 1980 Raleigh Sports, who has informed me in no uncertain terms, that it does not have any hair, and if it were so, it would definitely not be red. It also seeks vengeance upon me for having modernized it into such an unholy machine from it's God-fearing roots in New Hampshire with our patron saint of Schwinn, pastorbobnlnh.

Each of these fine machines are complete with lovely Brooks saddles, all well-broken in with the aromic effluence of many former meals, and each are also equipped with dual-leg Trygg kickstands that exist to remind us that when the apocalypse is upon us, only the Sweedish bikes will stay upright amongst the worldwide earthquakes caused by lesser bicycles plummeting to earth from their wobbly side stands.

This said, some work still remains on these piles of overweight British junk fine machines. For instance, both the '50 and '52 will require further work to complete both their lighting and braking systems. I have specifically chosen the most expensive cable housing possible for the '50 Superbe, of which I have run out of since. This will ensure the new owner will do their part to contribute to the Great Bicycling Economy. Meanwhile, the wiring for the lighting systems have been organized towards the most accurate definition of "rat's nest" possible to afford the new owner maximum opportunities to utilize their problem-solving skills whilst enjoying the Zen of home bicycle repair. Or grab your favorite wire cutter and rip them all to hell.

I'm asking a very reasonable $15,000 for all four bicycles. Western Union, Venmo, and all other non-traceable, non-recoverable forms of payment are gladly accepted. Don't worry about shipping. Heck, you don't even have to provide your address.

Those in the South Florida area may come to inspect the bikes before purchase but must present a PCR test indicating they are not suffering from the virus CAMPY-27, though the necessary frostbite is not generally experienced this far south, though we would be glad to provide the necessary wingnuts (not period correct).

-Kurt

cb400bill

As these bikes are all much too large for me, I am very interested in buying them. Please send them COD to my Nigerian address that you have on file.

cudak888 

No CODs. We can do Western Screwnion.

-Kurt

nlerner

Mr. @cudak888's offering motivates me to downsize similarly. Pictured are what I am ready to offer:





1974 Raleigh International, 1973 Raleigh Super Tourer, 1973 Raleigh Gran Sport, and a 1974 Raleigh SuperCourse MkII. These all can be yours for the low price of $66,666. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I should say that I do not actually own these bikes any longer, but I do promise to track subsequent owners and provide pictures of their current status. Shipping included!

cudak888 

I would like to offer you $5,555 for the potential pictorial status of the Super Course Mk.II, but only for drive-side pictures. None of this left-hand nonsense.

-Kurt

nlerner

Sadly, that might involve expensive undersea imaging equipment and first-class travel to the Salton Sea. I'll need to get back to you.

clubman 

I've got period wing nutz if anyone takes up Kurts' stellar offering.

cudak888 

I'll ring McCartney and see if he's got back yet.

-Kurt

niliraga 

I am keen to buy them all! Except my riding mower is still in the shop awaiting repairs, and I'm waiting on an estimated bill that I probably can't pay, so I'm actually unable to buy these.

cyclophilia 

I wish to purchase ALL the bicycles displayed in this thread.

Please bill to my credit card:

1234 5678 9012 3456

pastorbobnlnh 

Kurt, I cannot believe you will allow the 1980 Sports to slip from your hands for such a low and reasonable price! Especially now that it is in its fourth decade and living out retirement in sunny South Florida. How could you run the risk of subjecting your unknowing Brit to a stranger in some cruel, dark, cold, wet, and snowy land?

How did I miss your April Fools shenanigans on the Day you have immortalized so well over the course of your 17-year history on BF? Hah! Retirement! I'm barely online distracting myself from work anymore!

Well written and I'm glad to see how you pulled nlerner away from his academic responsibilities to compose his own tome!

cudak888 

@Ged117 said almost the same thing when he sold me the 1950 Superbe: "How could I run the risk of subjecting my unknowing Brit to a stranger in some cruel, sunny South Florida land when it's living out retirement in a dark, cold, wet, and snowy Toronto?"

Easy, you're not buying enough bike crap and don't visit this sub-forum enough!

Was it April Fools those many years ago that Colonel Hogan and Shultz showed up? I honestly can't remember if it was, or if it was some sort of BF Foo Day.

Of course you can't stop working. Work, post-retirement, is defined as "Stockholm syndrome"

Neal has academic responsibilities?

-Kurt

mountaindave 

Loved this edition of BF CV 4/1 sales ads - keep the tradition going!