Go Back  Bike Forums > Bike Forums > Road Cycling
Reload this Page >

I won the slow-roll !!!

Notices
Road Cycling It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle. -- Ernest Hemingway

I won the slow-roll !!!

Old 07-28-22, 06:23 PM
  #1  
beng1
Full Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 368 Post(s)
Liked 163 Times in 80 Posts
I won the slow-roll !!!

My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.

City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.

As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
beng1 is offline  
Old 07-28-22, 07:06 PM
  #2  
Broctoon
Super-duper Genius
 
Broctoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Muskrat Springs, Utah
Posts: 1,308
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 582 Post(s)
Liked 632 Times in 326 Posts
Congratulations. It seems you are the victor.
Broctoon is offline  
Likes For Broctoon:
Old 07-28-22, 08:08 PM
  #3  
beng1
Full Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 368 Post(s)
Liked 163 Times in 80 Posts
Originally Posted by Broctoon View Post
Congratulations. It seems you are the victor.
99% of a victory is announcing it first and as loudly as possible. Most people are afraid to counter this type of behaviour, and if you can act a little drunk or crazy during the process it more than doubles the effectiveness, if you actually are drunk and/or crazy then you can never fail.
beng1 is offline  
Old 07-28-22, 08:15 PM
  #4  
Troul 
:D
 
Troul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mich
Posts: 5,937

Bikes: RSO E-tire dropper fixie brifter

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Liked 2,067 Times in 1,386 Posts
If you can poop enough for it to fall on to the ground while all articles of clothing are on, it'll be a hot victory!
__________________
-Oh Hey!
Troul is offline  
Likes For Troul:
Old 07-28-22, 09:31 PM
  #5  
LarrySellerz
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 1,299
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1733 Post(s)
Liked 320 Times in 231 Posts
you ride 52x19? Are you fixed? What kind of ratio is that on a road bike you've got to be cross chaining.
LarrySellerz is offline  
Old 07-28-22, 09:59 PM
  #6  
Troul 
:D
 
Troul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Mich
Posts: 5,937

Bikes: RSO E-tire dropper fixie brifter

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6 Post(s)
Liked 2,067 Times in 1,386 Posts
That's just the small crank to big cog ratio.
__________________
-Oh Hey!
Troul is offline  
Likes For Troul:
Old 07-29-22, 04:13 AM
  #7  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
indyfabz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,773
Mentioned: 204 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16413 Post(s)
Liked 11,170 Times in 5,427 Posts
And then your alarm clock went off?
indyfabz is offline  
Likes For indyfabz:
Old 07-29-22, 05:07 AM
  #8  
Chuck M 
Butted Hi-Tensile
 
Chuck M's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,274

Bikes: Hi-Ten bike boomers, a Trek Domane and some projects

Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 446 Post(s)
Liked 1,140 Times in 569 Posts
Originally Posted by beng1 View Post
As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me.
I hope next time you get the crouching ovation you deserve.
__________________
"It is the unknown around the corner that turns my wheels." -- Heinz Stcke

Chuck M is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 05:32 AM
  #9  
hazetguy 
ėūłń
 
hazetguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 317
Mentioned: 125 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1507 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1,689 Times in 845 Posts
Originally Posted by beng1 View Post
My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.

City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.

As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
is that you, standing behind the newscaster (on her right, screen left)?



looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought "race"!




Last edited by hazetguy; 07-29-22 at 06:43 AM.
hazetguy is offline  
Likes For hazetguy:
Old 07-29-22, 05:41 AM
  #10  
datlas 
Should Be More Popular
 
datlas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Malvern, PA (20 miles West of Philly)
Posts: 39,387

Bikes: 1986 Alpine (steel road bike), 2009 Ti Habenero, 2013 Specialized Roubaix

Mentioned: 535 Post(s)
Tagged: 2 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19054 Post(s)
Liked 5,799 Times in 2,845 Posts
Cool story, bro'.
__________________
Originally Posted by rjones28 View Post
Addiction is all about class.
datlas is offline  
Likes For datlas:
Old 07-29-22, 06:22 AM
  #11  
seypat
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 7,629
Mentioned: 66 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2624 Post(s)
Liked 1,753 Times in 1,111 Posts
I'm eating a single cinnamon roll this morning slowly to savor the flavor. Is that the same as what the OP did?
seypat is offline  
Likes For seypat:
Old 07-29-22, 06:43 AM
  #12  
WhyFi
Senior Member
 
WhyFi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: TC, MN
Posts: 39,203

Bikes: R3 Disc, Haanjo

Mentioned: 353 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20487 Post(s)
Liked 9,206 Times in 4,560 Posts
Originally Posted by hazetguy View Post
is that you, standing behind the newscaster (on her right, screen left)?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=c0cCE8HELQw


looks like you won a hotly contested, knock down drag out, fiercely fought race!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2v5dZSB8LU8


I don't see "Free Assange" on the back of that shirt. Did our hero lie? I feel so cheated.
WhyFi is online now  
Likes For WhyFi:
Old 07-29-22, 06:48 AM
  #13  
Bob Ross
your god hates me
 
Bob Ross's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,322

Bikes: 2018 Cannondale CAADX 105 SE, 2016 Richard Sachs, 2010 Carl Strong, 2006 Cannondale Synapse

Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 862 Post(s)
Liked 694 Times in 379 Posts
BF never fails to deliver.
Bob Ross is offline  
Likes For Bob Ross:
Old 07-29-22, 09:53 AM
  #14  
Bah Humbug
serious cyclist
 
Bah Humbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin
Posts: 18,681

Bikes: S1, R2, P2

Mentioned: 115 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7755 Post(s)
Liked 2,703 Times in 1,427 Posts
Originally Posted by beng1 View Post
99% of a victory is announcing it first and as loudly as possible. Most people are...
... humoring you and hoping to exit your vicinity as soon as possible.
Bah Humbug is offline  
Likes For Bah Humbug:
Old 07-29-22, 09:56 AM
  #15  
Mojo31
-------
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Tejas
Posts: 8,235
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 6214 Post(s)
Liked 3,856 Times in 2,103 Posts
The guy was on TV! We are in the presence of an actual celebrity.

Helmetless and no bike pants. Larry would be proud.
Mojo31 is offline  
Likes For Mojo31:
Old 07-29-22, 10:05 AM
  #16  
Jack Tone 
Full Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 487
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 300 Post(s)
Liked 174 Times in 121 Posts
I would PAY to see a race between Larry and Beng. We could call it the Troll Tournament.
Jack Tone is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 10:18 AM
  #17  
WhyFi
Senior Member
 
WhyFi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: TC, MN
Posts: 39,203

Bikes: R3 Disc, Haanjo

Mentioned: 353 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20487 Post(s)
Liked 9,206 Times in 4,560 Posts
Originally Posted by Jack Tone View Post
I would PAY to see a race between Larry and Beng. We could call it the Troll Tournament.
Only if they start on foot, have to salvage a bicycle to ride, perform dumpster hurdles, chug questionable hooch, and have to solicit aid from strangers in the event of a mechanical.
WhyFi is online now  
Old 07-29-22, 10:22 AM
  #18  
big john
Senior Member
 
big john's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In the foothills of Los Angeles County
Posts: 20,750
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5338 Post(s)
Liked 4,905 Times in 2,575 Posts
My money is on Larry. He has youth on his side, he's sometimes clever, and he's loveable in his own weird way.
big john is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 10:35 AM
  #19  
Bah Humbug
serious cyclist
 
Bah Humbug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin
Posts: 18,681

Bikes: S1, R2, P2

Mentioned: 115 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7755 Post(s)
Liked 2,703 Times in 1,427 Posts
Originally Posted by WhyFi View Post
Only if they start on foot, have to salvage a bicycle to ride, perform dumpster hurdles, chug questionable hooch, and have to solicit aid from strangers in the event of a mechanical.
Bike racing Le Mans style.
Bah Humbug is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 10:40 AM
  #20  
Litespud
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Chapel Hill NC
Posts: 1,683

Bikes: 2000 Litespeed Vortex Chorus 10, 1995 DeBernardi Cromor S/S

Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 644 Post(s)
Liked 791 Times in 444 Posts
Originally Posted by beng1 View Post
My city is having a "cyclefest" kicked off with a 9-mile "slow roll". The organizers, mayor and a few other stiffs gave speeches before it began while we were in front of some news cameras. My "kit was a "free Palestine" shirt, which I wrote "Free Assange" on the back with a Sharpie marker, cuttoff jeans, sneakers and of course I was riding the Huffy "bluegrass" Scout.

City police were to escort the hundred riders give or take on the route, helping with stopping traffic at some big intersections. The ride did not start until 6pm though, and I had ridden to the event and wanted to get home before the shadows got too long for safety's sake, so shortly after the start I bolted ahead pulling my usual 52/19 gear, passed the police escort and the rest of the riders, and ran through the red-light and traffic at the first major intersection. I don't know if it was some of the ride organizers or police that were yelling at me as I made it through the intersection, but they had stopped and I forged ahead and left them behind. I had looked at the route map earlier in the day on the event website, it went out then looped back to the start, then continued to the other side of town in another loop before the ride finished back at it's starting point in the town square. I finished the first loop in a matter of minutes, stopped at the town square and looked at the route map again, then took off and hammered out the West loop as fast as I could, stopping only to have a man refill my water bottle with his garden hose while we had some nice conversation.

As I got back to town square and the starting point, I pumped my fist in the air, yelled that I was the winner and demanded to know where the news cameras and my trophy was, nobody seemed to know, but a few of them did congratulate me. I had an ice-cream cone, told the organizers I had to leave before the cops got back, then took off and rode home as fast as I could.
So chalk up another big win for the 1973 Huffy Bluegrass. !!! There are five more riding events as part of this "cyclefest" so stay tuned for more information on future victories.
we really need to address the mental health crisis in this country.....
Litespud is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 11:06 AM
  #21  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
indyfabz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,773
Mentioned: 204 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16413 Post(s)
Liked 11,170 Times in 5,427 Posts
Originally Posted by WhyFi View Post
Only if they start on foot, have to salvage a bicycle to ride, perform dumpster hurdles, chug questionable hooch, and have to solicit aid from strangers in the event of a mechanical.
and ride shirtless.
indyfabz is offline  
Likes For indyfabz:
Old 07-29-22, 11:12 AM
  #22  
Reflector Guy
Senior Member
 
Reflector Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,219

Bikes: Bianchi Infinito XE, Via Nirone 7, GT Aggressor Pro

Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 558 Post(s)
Liked 1,132 Times in 530 Posts
Originally Posted by indyfabz View Post
And then your alarm clock went off?

Reflector Guy is offline  
Likes For Reflector Guy:
Old 07-29-22, 12:18 PM
  #23  
indyfabz
Senior Member
 
indyfabz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 35,773
Mentioned: 204 Post(s)
Tagged: 1 Thread(s)
Quoted: 16413 Post(s)
Liked 11,170 Times in 5,427 Posts
Originally Posted by Reflector Guy View Post
Heh. Was on TV again just last night. Saw that scene.
indyfabz is offline  
Old 07-29-22, 01:38 PM
  #24  
sfrider 
Asleep at the bars
 
sfrider's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: San Francisco, CA and Treasure Island, FL
Posts: 1,735
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 228 Post(s)
Liked 201 Times in 135 Posts
You mean the troll-roll?
__________________
"This 7:48 cycling session burned 5933 calories. Speed up recovery by replacing them with a healthy snack." - Whoop

sfrider is offline  
Likes For sfrider:
Old 07-29-22, 02:44 PM
  #25  
tomato coupe
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,765

Bikes: Colnago, Van Dessel, Factor, Cervelo, Ritchey

Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2386 Post(s)
Liked 4,187 Times in 1,698 Posts
I won a strider crit once. It was supposed to be for kids, but the rules didn't specifically state adults couldn't enter. I destroyed all those little punks!!!
tomato coupe is offline  
Likes For tomato coupe:

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.