Wow, am I ever ugly......
06-01-22, 08:05 PM
#1
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Wow, am I ever ugly......
Had my wife snap some photos of me on my road-bike in an "aero" position to see what I could improve on, but unfortunately I don't have the millions of dollars for the elective surgery to turn me into a young, average-sized, proportional and athletic human. I look like an old turkey or octopus sitting on the bike, long skinny arms and legs, the biggest part being the torso and nose, unspectacular posture.Kind of like a bald Conan O'Brien but much less handsome, older and with less muscle tone. My poor wife. No, I can not post these photos, sorry to keep that laugh from you.
The worst part is I can't imagine contorting, beating and twisting what I saw into a form close to what the photos of top road-racers and time-trialists have on a bike, a task comparable with making mashed potatoes out of carpet remnants or wrenches.
I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like. I guess that will let me sleep tonight then, after I put the military-grade hard-disk eraser into my desktop and let it run until dawn.
The worst part is I can't imagine contorting, beating and twisting what I saw into a form close to what the photos of top road-racers and time-trialists have on a bike, a task comparable with making mashed potatoes out of carpet remnants or wrenches.
I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like. I guess that will let me sleep tonight then, after I put the military-grade hard-disk eraser into my desktop and let it run until dawn.
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06-01-22, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by beng1
No, I can not post these photos, sorry to keep that laugh from you.
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"Don't take life so serious-it ain't nohow permanent."
"Everybody's gotta be somewhere." - Eccles
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06-01-22, 08:11 PM
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I had my big wakeup call early in COVID. I shaved my beard for better mask fit. Looked in the mirror. I've got jowls! There wasn't even a hint when I grew it 20 years ago.
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06-01-22, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by genejockey
There are some things Man was not meant to know.
Otto
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06-01-22, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by ofajen
I try to maintain well-tended and carefully selected areas of ignorance that help me make it through life. I appreciate it when others help me in that endeavor. 😀
Otto
Otto
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"Don't take life so serious-it ain't nohow permanent."
"Everybody's gotta be somewhere." - Eccles
"Don't take life so serious-it ain't nohow permanent."
"Everybody's gotta be somewhere." - Eccles
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06-01-22, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by beng1
... long skinny arms and legs, the biggest part being the torso and nose ...
06-01-22, 09:36 PM
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You MUST post the pictures. It’s cruel to tease us.
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Road and Mountain 🚴🏾♂️
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06-01-22, 09:51 PM
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You know, some of us figured that out in kindergarten.
Congratulations on your (presumed) decades of blissful ignorance.
Congratulations on your (presumed) decades of blissful ignorance.
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06-02-22, 07:02 AM
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My girl friend always wonders why I don't like to have my picture taken. This thread reminds me that I probably have a good reason for that
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06-02-22, 07:46 AM
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Please, please, please no pictures!
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06-02-22, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by beng1
No, I can not post these photos, sorry to keep that laugh from you.
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06-02-22, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Reflector Guy
Oh, I am sure they can't be too awfully bad. You did have a shirt on, I assume?
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06-02-22, 08:11 PM
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Maybe it was just a bad dream, and I am still actually quite a striking young man. I will avoid mirrors and photos in the future to increase the odds of this. I have also bought a powerball lottery ticket so I may be a very wealthy multi-millionaire, and I will never check the numbers because doing so would collapse that possibility. So I am a young millionaire with movie-star looks with just those few limitations on my lifestyle concerning reality. Done and done.........
06-02-22, 08:39 PM
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Being a millionaire will not be enough. Maybe not even being a multi-millionaire.
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06-02-22, 08:43 PM
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Just remember...
You Look Marvelous Darling!!!
https://youtu.be/hXydX9p_ZxA
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No matter where your at... There you are... Δf:=f(1/2)-f(-1/2)
No matter where your at... There you are... Δf:=f(1/2)-f(-1/2)
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06-04-22, 12:56 AM
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Originally Posted by beng1
I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like.
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06-04-22, 01:00 AM
#18
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Originally Posted by genejockey
There are some things Man was not meant to know.
Or see.
Remember kids:
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Plus: beauty is on the inside.
(Now everyone knows I am Fugly too
)
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06-04-22, 03:39 AM
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Originally Posted by beng1
Had my wife snap some photos of me on my road-bike in an "aero" position to see what I could improve on, but unfortunately I don't have the millions of dollars for the elective surgery to turn me into a young, average-sized, proportional and athletic human. I look like an old turkey or octopus sitting on the bike, long skinny arms and legs, the biggest part being the torso and nose, unspectacular posture.Kind of like a bald Conan O'Brien but much less handsome, older and with less muscle tone. My poor wife. No, I can not post these photos, sorry to keep that laugh from you.
The worst part is I can't imagine contorting, beating and twisting what I saw into a form close to what the photos of top road-racers and time-trialists have on a bike, a task comparable with making mashed potatoes out of carpet remnants or wrenches.
I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like. I guess that will let me sleep tonight then, after I put the military-grade hard-disk eraser into my desktop and let it run until dawn.
The worst part is I can't imagine contorting, beating and twisting what I saw into a form close to what the photos of top road-racers and time-trialists have on a bike, a task comparable with making mashed potatoes out of carpet remnants or wrenches.
I guess photos from the front are next, maybe they will look better and I can forget about the side shots and tell myself that it is the frontal area that counts no matter what the side looks like. I guess that will let me sleep tonight then, after I put the military-grade hard-disk eraser into my desktop and let it run until dawn.
Last edited by PeteHski; 06-04-22 at 03:43 AM.
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06-04-22, 06:23 AM
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Originally Posted by refrigerator900
Or see.
Remember kids:
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Plus: beauty is on the inside.
(Now everyone knows I am Fugly too )
Remember kids:
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
Plus: beauty is on the inside.
(Now everyone knows I am Fugly too
)
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06-04-22, 09:57 AM
#21
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Originally Posted by zandoval
Just remember...
You Look Marvelous Darling!!!
https://youtu.be/hXydX9p_ZxAAhh Fernando! “It is better to look good, than to actually be good!”
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06-04-22, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by SpedFast
PICTURES!!!! Not a single one of you had the nerve to post a pic?
06-04-22, 06:42 PM
#24
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if they can't find you handsome at least they can find you handy. that's my motto
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06-06-22, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by rob214
if they can't find you handsome at least they can find you handy. that's my motto
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