ganchan

I was thinking about the term "weight weenie" as it applies to cyclists who are paranoid about shaving every ounce of extra weight, and it occurs to me that there might be other sorts of "weenies" out there, such as:

Safety weenie - This is me. Always wearing more blinkers, high-visibility/protective clothing etc. than necessary, walking the bike across busy intersections as a pedestrian, riding during off-peak hours to reduce traffic risks. Safety preparations threaten to take longer than actual ride.

Alt-utility weenie - Why buy pricey panniers when you can strap a couple of styrofoam coolers to your rear rack? Authentic Coca-Cola milk crates only, thank you very much.

Accessories weenie - Must own every possible accessory that can be attached to a bicycle, preferably in multiple colors to suit your mood that day. Whether you actually need it, or it actually does anything, is irrelevant.

Stats weenie - Cadence, mph, distances and other statistics are what it's all about. there was a bike ride in there somewhere

Frankenweenie - Stock bikes are just sources for parts to feed your own unique creation. A minor variation of this might be the tweak weenie who lives in an endless loop of "My bike will finally be perfect with just one more minor alteration...." (I am developing symptoms of this.)

N+weenie - Must own at least 50 bikes. Has no idea why.

What other categories spring to mind, just for the goofy fun of it?

SloButWide 

Hey, "Clydesdale" is not nearly as cool as "Extra Large Weenie".

C&V is full of "Vintage Weenies" except for the Puch/Daimler/ etc. group, who are "Fintage Veenies".

rydabent

Since I really dont care what others think, and how where and with what cadence, and weight I ride, I am not much of a weenie of any kind.

Doctor Morbius

Bang-for-the-buck weenie? Always looking to maximize their dollar value on bike and bike related purchases.


So far I'm a bit of the above plus a bit of a stats weenie and a safety weenie as I ride during off-peak hours to reduce traffic risks. I'm never out riding between 4:30 - 6:30 in the evenings. Too many numbskulls out driving at that time.

ganchan

I belong to this one too. I absolutely must know that I got either the bargain of a lifetime, or a look-alike product that's just as good as the "real thing" for a fraction of the price. "$17 handlebar or $18 handlebar? Let me research it for a month and get back to you...."

OnyxTiger

I'm a Value Weenie.

If it ain't on sale, it won't fare well. If it ain't on clearance, I ain't tryina hear it.

canklecat

Somewhere between safety and bang for buck weenie. I would have said cheapskate, but B4B sounds better.

And given my penchant for wearing unfashionably floppy jorts rather than cycling shorts, and patterned dress socks with my sneakers, possibly an accidental hipster weenie. Didn't intend that. I just don't have any fashion sense or desire to wear lycra and spandex again, or even wool unless it's my old Navy peacoat.

Fastfingaz

,,,,, well then you must be one of those reluctant weenies,,,,

jfowler85

weenie weenie. all beef, please.

thin_concrete

Safety and data weenie here.

Dave Cutter

Reading these.... I see a bit of myself in all the weenies. Makes me wonder if I could be a Bikeochondria weenie.

bmthom.gis

While I prefer to ride during off-peak hours, as it makes the trip much more pleasant, there is nothing else to suggest I am a safety weenie. No high vis (on purpose - sometime of my clothes are high vis though I did not buy them for that reason) and not always wearing a helmet.
Maybe a no-frills weenie? I have what I believe I need, usually nothing else...and when I buy something I try and buy the best product I can afford (not always the most popular or most expensive, mind you). I show a lot of symptoms for the N+1 weenie, though I need to figure out a better storage solution soon

bonner1040

N+

ThermionicScott 

I don't have a good term for it, but there are those "gear spacing weenies" who always whine about gaps between cassette cogs, even though it's hard to find jumps over 10% on the small half of road cassettes anymore. Tight cassettes are really nice to ride (I use some myself), but I don't think gaps are worth complaining at length about...

ZIPP2001

I would be considered a Stat Weenie, I have every ride logged since I starting riding in 1983.
Weight weenie: not, I'm a Clydesdale.
Safety weenie: not, I plan rides where I'm dealing with traffic.
Alt-utility weenie: not, ride with a small saddle bag with tube and co2 inflator and that's it.
Accessories weenie: not, as stated above keep it simple.
Stats weenie: Ding, ding, ding, ding I have every ride I've ever done since I start cycling in 1983 logged
Frankenweenie: just a tad
N+weenie: not, although I presently have only 5 bikes left in my stable, down form 12 at one point. (TT Bike, Single Speed, Road, Mountain, and Grampy Bike w/trailer for grandchildren)

79pmooney

Maybe I am a fix gear weenie. Been riding them for decades, knowing for a long time that if I had to reduce to just one bike it would be fixed. I put together a near zero dollar light and fast fix gear a few years ago. What a blast! Enough fun that I ordered a second custom ti bike, this time a fix gear with a custom dropout that would allow all available 1/8" cogs to be used without messing with the chain. A peg to hold the chain. Wheel flips without touching the chain. Made a light cog wrench that straps to the top tube. Rode Cycle Oregon on it three times

I got my first ti bike in 2007. It has 9000 miles. 4 years later I got the fix gear. Close to 14,000 miles already. My lifetime fixed miles are about 2000 behind my lifetime geared miles.

I got fixed in 1976 and have been that way ever since.

Ben

Hypno Toad

We're brothers from another mother.

Stats... Love the stats way too much for my own good. Paid Strava account, paid VeloViewer account, and years of data tracking rides (not back to 1983, so tip o' the hat on that one!). If I'm not riding a bike, I'm likely pouring over the stats in one way or another.

OldTryGuy

Cleanie-weenie. Clean frame/fork after every ride including chain, cassette, spokes, hubs, rims, brake arms/pads, crank arms, chain rings, pedals........

intransit1217

Psuedo-chain weenie.

Pidge

-Safety: Road rides are mostly done on Sundays, I carry 4 lights total, backup batteries, and a bunch of other stuff. I feel cluttered, but I guess I'd rather have it & not need it than not have it when I do. For dirt, I carry wraps for like a sprained wrist and an umbrella too (no shade in the desert). I have hi-viz & reflect strips on my backpacks, but rarely wear bright shirts. Even my good bmx, which only sees skatepark and parking lot now, has some reflective bits on it, haha. I always pad up for the park too.
-Alt: No shame about using zipties/hose clamps/electric tape/etc. I made a seatbag light mount from a piece of wood once. I made my own bar and frame bags. I'm cheap and if I can rig it or make it myself I prefer to do that.
-Accessories: I was given some valve lights recently, can't wait to try them out. Got a burger bell, have only used it like twice, once to shoo along some cows & bulls. Made a wee handlebar propeller because why not. Have a buzzer horn, bulb horn, various lights, etc. that may make reappearances some time in the future.

My bikes are mostly stock but I could do Frankenbike cuz I don't mind if a bike matches or not. If it fits it can go on, never mind the maker/era of the part. And if I won the lotto and had room, I definitely be N+. At least 5 other bikes from the 3 I have now. Man, bikes are fun!

vangoes

Floppy weenie?

AlmostTrick

I didn't think of this until you posted it, but yeah, that's definitely me! Looking at my bikes, even the older ones, it is difficult to tell I ride 'em thousands of miles, sometimes even in poor weather.

I find if I keep up with the cleaning, it really only takes a few minutes. Let it go for months and it becomes a huge project.

Stratocaster

I'm probably a value weenie...with safety concerns.

andr0id

Cleanie Weenie - If not my bikes corrode to death.
Stat Weenie - PowerTap and Garmin. I also work in computer instrumentation, who would'a guessed??
Squeak Weenie - I can't stand bikes that creak, squeak or rattle.

SpeshulEd 

Will these weenie's give me cancer?