Chetti

I just discovered a new weapon that everyone has access to... CLIF BARS or any POWER BAR

on my commute this morning I had some moron laying on his horn and trying to squeeze around me in an uncomfortable area... naturally, His 2ton truck took his assumed right of way and rolled to the stoplight. just a stones throw ahead. As I sprinted up to get a long side him, I took a big bite of my CLIF bar, salivated it up.
I pulled up next to the jerk, spit the sticky crunchy mouthfull into my hand and smeared it onto his passenger window, turned around, and adjusted my uphill route by a block.

I thought it was funny... I know some of you will disagree, and looking back I know it doesnt improve this guys view of cyclists. I got a laugh

notfred

What the hell is a JAM?

It's three words people, just write it out so that people know what the heck you're talking about.

chephy

Gee... Every forum has its abbreviations. Most people will know "what the heck you're talking about". If you don't know, ask politely and there shall be an answer.

chephy

BTW, it was funny.

pirate

gross, yet intriguing.

DataJunkie

Click on "Search the forums" and......



My lower back is killing me and maybe that has something to do with my lack of a sense of humor. Don't see how it was that funny.

Spreggy

I have no problem with a little payback, but you are a commuter and so is he. He'll be looking for you, with a coffee or maybe a cup of chew-spit to toss on you.

Nicodemus

probably your back.

I found it funny.

try some dog-piss exercises (on your hands and knees, raise left arm/right leg and keep them straight, hold it for 10 seconds, then alternate). I find that a nice magic bullet.

dwainedibbly

+1 to that. I usually just wave and say "Merry Christmas".

DataJunkie

Ack! I love the name for that exercise. What if I get confused and try dog-sh$# exercises?

syn0n

Great idea. You know, his truck is what, 4000lbs? Who cares about the right of way when he can easily flatten your ass? Maybe the next person you mix it up with won't be as sane and might not really care enough not to kill you. Think.

unkchunk

I advocate that you review chipcom's "3 Rules of Effective Retaliation" before attempting anything like this again. Especially Rule #1. Which is: If you must use physical force make sure that you hit 'em so hard that it is impossible for them to retaliate in any way, otherwise you're just asking for trouble. Or something like that. Don't bother trying to search for them as chipcom didn't title it. But it was damn good advice none the less.

BigMacFU

yeah, the putting of it, all slimey, in the hand grossed me out.

Bockman

You left your DNA

DanPT

Too many crazy people out there.

https://cbs3.com/topstories/local_story_195210510.html

ax0n

My revenge was unintentional, but I had a JAM crowding my lane and into some debris in the gutter. My high-pressure tires shot this ginormous rock right into the car's passenger door. I don't think the driver heard it, but I saw it left a paint chip about the size of a dime, and a hail dent. I was giggling all the way home.

Jeronimo_

Especially in The City of Brotherly Love.

Covert loogies are more fun when well-placed. I practice hocking at high and low speeds and my aim has become quite true. I can hit the rear door handle on a Canyonero without them knowing it at 15 mph.

Bushman

I make a mental note of the plate number and vehicle description, then make posters up. I put the posters up near schoolyards and playgrounds, warning parents that a convicted pedophile driving this car <insert plate number, color and description here, has been seen cruising the neighbourhood looking at children.

Bockman

Ah yes, the infamous Bolus Maneuver.

One time, after being deliberately cutoff, Imanaged an enormous bubblegum bubble (just happened to be cheweing at the time).... have you ever 'cordoned off' your bubble so it's completely sealed? I did that, and then spit the bubble and the wad of gum onto the front seat. The bubble landed intact.

Jeronimo_

Now that's one magic bubble...

AStomper

I like the pedophile poster idea. Though he won't know why someone did it it would still feel nice.

And though I have spit in someones face +1 for you'll probably cross paths again, but if he hits you with something call 911 and say that you've been attacked and the guy drove off, don't let them know that it is an ongoing dispute, and deny deny deny if he accuses you of starting it a couple weeks ago.

Az B

I hope you guys are joking. Start a fight and then lie about who started it? Calling soneone a pedophile? This is stuff that 9 year olds think of.

Az

lil brown bat

Would it? Because it's an incredibly dickheaded thing to do.

Think, just for a minute, about the consequences of your actions. Then ask yourself again how nice you feel.

thelazywon

You guys are so screwing your karma.

Bushman

< thinks for a minute....nope, not feeling nice.


yes, because its been proven that karma exists...... btw there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow dontcha know