Todzilla

I've been bike commuting for decades. As a result, I've had numerous encounters with rude, and dangerous motorists. In my younger days, I'd think nothing of flipping the bird and providing worthy verbal support of same. As I get older (I'm 52), I am mellower, but I still feel the need to point out to motorists when their actions endanger cyclists. Even angry, I'm trying to find the words to make it a teachable moment, not a confrontation.

In the past week, I've had two encounters. One of a motorist passing on a totally blind curve and one of a guy passing me and my 11 year old daughter on our rusty old Schwinn tandem while a car approached in the other lane. What made these incidents noteworthy was that I was able to track down both motorists.

In the first case I recognized the vehicle as one that frequently parks near my office. I left a note which read "Please be more careful sharing the road with bicyclists. You passed me on a blind curve this morning. Had a car been coming in the other direction, you would have hit them head on, or more likely, forced me off the road by swerving back into my lane." Then, I signed my name. She tracked me down and angrily told me that she did nothing unsafe, and that I was wrong. To bolster her argument she cited that in her work AS A CLERK IN TRAFFIC COURT (Oh, the delicious irony!), she saw these cases all the time and was professionally certain that her move to pass on a blind curve with a double yellow line was perfectly safe and legal. As I explained to her that it was, in fact, illegal, she hung up on me.

The second case, I saw the motorist slowing down after he'd passed us. As I rounded the curve, I saw his vehicle parked at a house. Daughter and I pulled over and I saw the guy getting out of his car festooned with a COEXIST bumper sticker (double dose of delicious irony). I caught his attention and told him that passing us with a car coming the other direction was dangerous. He told me I was wrong, that it was safe and perfectly legal. I told him we had to break and pull on the shoulder to accommodate his hard swerve back into our lane. He told me I could take him to court if I didn't like it, that it was perfectly legal and that passing laws were irrelevant for bicyclists. I told him I was afraid he was wrong about that. My daughter, at this point, was freaking out, so I rode on.

Is there any magical phrase or approach in these cases that have a chance of informing without further provoking? I suppose the kind of person who would callously disregard the safety of others just to get to the donut store a little quicker is also the kind of person who believes their actions are by default, unassailable, but I'm hoping some one out there has found something even less provocative.

Thanks,

-Todd

cmill189

People generally react in a confrontational manner when they feel guilty about something. If I see someone who had just recently put my life in danger, I usually thank them for their amazing driving while flashing a ****-eating grin. Best to either let it go, or say something that isn't trying to prove them wrong.

dwilbur3

I can't say that I've never yelled at or flipped off a driver, but mostly I don't bother any more.

IMHO, life is too short to go on a driver education campaign.

Todzilla

Yeah, I suppose... But when I screw up, I appreciate folks letting me know in a diplomatic way.

JeremyZ

It is the norm in this great country of ours to deny responsibility. Especially when confronted. It would take a few seconds to think, and a certain type of personality not to let the pride overcome logic.

I think you have handled it in the best possible way. While outwardly, they said they did nothing wrong and acted the part of an idiot, I would bet that the fact that you brought it politely to their attention made them really think about it and maybe even change their bahavior just a bit in the future.

If you had been more angry or accusatory, those people would almost certainly have written you off as a jerk and not thought about it another instant.

One time, I was driving along in a 45 mph zone, going about 55, the speed of traffic. There was a road cyclist right in the middle of the lane. I came up on him and was frustrated I couldn't get around, since he was right in the middle of the lane. The lane was big enough for both of us, and I could've passed him safely. I was starting to get frustrated, until I realized he was going 45 mph and I didn't really need to pass him. I backed off and just slowed down a bit until he turned off. In retrospect, I may not have behaved like this if I was not a motorcyclist who often had his space infringed upon by cagers, or if I weren't a cyclist who has had too many cagers pass me with inches to spare just to show who is king of the road.

It takes the perspective of a cyclist or the patience of age a lot of times to get respect from motorists. As a motorcyclist, I got used to looking much further down the road, which in turn made me a better car driver. But it would not have happened if I didn't first have the perspective of the motorcyclist.

zac

Don't bother.

It is the very rare driver that admits they are in the wrong. No amount of reasoning, yelling, gesticulating, etc., matters to these folks. I usually just shake my head and go on.

zac

bhop

Waste of time.. ignoring them and moving on is best.

thenomad

You could always roll with taser and pepper spray. Confront them diplomatically and the ensuing rage and belligerance, which you know if coming, they get in your face and then *ZAP*. Self defense.
You know what the outcome is going to be, might as well invite them to reach the logical conclusion.

seriously,
I've confronted several people and it always ends up the same. Angry words. Seems to be no way around it but you can always report them, and better yet, if you know where they live they might be more cautious of "crapping in their own back yard".


As for ignoring them. I suppose that works and is the best way to not get in an altercation, but dang, this same guy may literally KILL you the next time.
"that's ok mr motorist, you drive however you like, I don't want to inconvenience you with rules that keep me safe or anything... you may get upset."

rumrunn6

punch them in the head or say nothing

dwilbur3

I'm not sure they're any LESS likely to kill you after you confront them.

Todzilla

Nice!

Todzilla

I'm hoping this will be the case. They may not admit culpability, but they just maybe will think twice when passing cyclists.

I do have to say that 98% of motorists where I ride are extremely courteous to cyclists. For that I am very thankful. For the remaining 2%, I've got all my avoidance skills that have been developed and tested over the past 47 years.

EKW in DC

I had a similar incident on my ride home from work last Friday. I normally just try to shrug things like that off and ignore, but adrenaline got the best of me. After he'd passed me, I yelled out, "What?! You couldn't wait two f***ing seconds to pass me, d***head?!" He pointed to the right side of the road [as if I could have been any further over], at which point I flipped him the bird. Not the dignified or mellow response (or non-response) I aspire to project after such incidents, but, alas.

Sounds like you did a good job in your case of keeping your cool and approaching the situation calmly and rationally, though. I just hope that people learn from these sorts of mistakes. Sadly, I fear they don't.

neil

Boy, if I tried to educate every driver that passes me by partially going into the oncoming lane (with cars coming), it would take me hours to ride the 16 blocks to work. Life's too short, and mostly, I'm just happy they're at least attempting to give me space.

I'll give a good shout to people who do something directly dangerous to me, such as the car that changed into my lane as I was riding by last Friday. But these encounters are rare, and I doubt it has any effect except making me feel better.

Todzilla

I get your point, but every now and then, I'll actually get to catch up with the motorist who endangered me and in those rare cases, I try to get them to understand their habits are dangerous. Will I succeed? maybe once or twice.

pharasz

Agreed. And what bhop said: Waste of time, ignore and move on. You say you want to "educate" them but what you really want to do is parent them. You are not their parent, and they are not going to accept you as such. You will have to accept that fact. Ignore them and move on. The faster you get them out of your head the more time you leave for yourself to enjoy your own life. You only have a fixed number of breaths left to take until you are no longer breathing - so don't waste any of them!

clasher

Really, this. Be prepared anytime you say anything to a motorist to have them physically attack you, either with their car or weapons they may have.

Seattle Forrest

It's not that cyclists should appease dangerous drivers out of timidness; it's that you shouldn't risk your neck or even just ruin part of your day for something that isn't going to work. So you chase a motorist who passed you unsafely down, you're angry, adrenaline is pumping through your veins from fight-or-flight, you tell the driver that what (s)he did was dangerous and illegal, (s)he is upset at being challenged and confronted, denies things, you're angrier, the motorist is angrier, you both part ways huffing and puffing.

Maybe that changes the driver's behavior in the future, but it's not likely. On the other hand, maybe you've made a new sworn enemy, and next time (s)he goes to pass you, it's "I remember this psycho biker who started yelling at me out of the blue..."

Confronting people and telling them how they've screwed up almost never ends well. That's why the people whose job it is to do this get guns and handcuffs, and the power to use them. Just be visible, ride safely, and especially don't make your daughter experience any delicious irony.

Booger1

Let it be,or you might really get your butt run over.

lucille

I get mad, but try to let it go quickly. If I'm upset and think of what I'd say to the motorist, I don't ride as well, and may end up making a stupid and costly mistake myself.

My approach is from the other end. I try to show motorists respect, by not blocking the lane when not necessary, thanking them when they let me go first (even if I'm entitled to it), and overall trying to get them to see that not every cyclist is the enemy. Hopefully some of them will remember this when passing another cyclist down the road.

grolby

My commuting became a lot less stressful when I stopped feeling the need to confront motorists who do stupid things. It's happened a few times, basically by accident, in the last few months, but it's usually because I say or do something that signals "WTF?" and the motorist flips out at the suggestion that maybe they messed up. Ugh. It sucks, and it's never worth escalating. Best to just ride on and be glad that you didn't get hurt. Trying to educate will only raise everyone's blood pressure. If someone actually did something wrong, chances are they will realize it and feel bad (think about how you've felt when you've made a potentially dangerous mistake while driving). If you confront them, they're just going to get defensive. And if they don't care or are just angry, no amount of confrontation will make them feel any different. Best to save yourself and everyone else the trouble.

supercycle62

Although I understand your frustration I don't share it. I can't say I have ever had an encounter like that with a motorist in the 35 or so years I have been bicycle commuting. I am lucky I guess since I live in a pretty "bicycle tolerent" city with bike lanes through out and lovely multi-use paths. The only real problem on my daily urban commute are taxi drivers...grrrr...Once you get out of the heavy taxi zone it's all pretty much everyone follows the rules of the road. Of course there is always the odd wingnut car driver out there that we all must keep our eyes open for. I ride defensively at all times and try to see whats ahead and around me so I adjust my riding style to the situation.

Personally I think I would feel very bad if someone came to me (with their 11yr old daughter) and told me that because of my driving I was putting their lives at risk. I wouldn't argue... I would offer them my sincere apologies. It sounds like the people you encountered are selfish and mean. That's the real sad part.

ItsJustMe

People will argue with BICYCLE POLICE that the cops are wrong and they are right. You have no hope, regardless of how right you are. You could take them to court, have a judge explain the law to them, and they'd still be convinced they were right.

Just stop wasting your time.

dwilbur3

I drove my commutes for about 30 years and I was often angry about what the crazy drivers were doing. I never felt tempted to follow them and tell them how dangerous they were when I was driving a car. So why should I do that now just because I'm on a bike?

LeeG

zactly. Moreover once you decide to "confront" someone diplomacy really won't change what's being communicated, which is confrontation.