Club frustration
08-14-12, 01:14 AM
#26
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Have you proposed marriage to her yet?
Then you can take out her garbage, wash her dishes...
She will really appreciate all you do. Not.
Then you can take out her garbage, wash her dishes...
She will really appreciate all you do. Not.
08-15-12, 02:54 AM
#27
Lover of Old Chrome Moly
I ride with two clubs sponsored by LBSs and I've never heard of this kind of behavior within either group. I also volunteer with a few organizations and would never put up with the kind of treatment you have recieved.
08-15-12, 02:40 PM
#28
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High-maintenance relationships are a pain in the chamois.
Any club that has that person in a leadership role is doomed. A strong leader who is willing to take the time and effort to lead everything can be successful, but a control freak who WON'T actually put in the work? Guaranteed failure.
Drop down (even if informally) to just a member. Or just drop off the face of the earth. You live in SoCal; Unless you have to ride your bike to and from the ride starts, there have got to be plenty of other groups with whom you can ride.
Any club that has that person in a leadership role is doomed. A strong leader who is willing to take the time and effort to lead everything can be successful, but a control freak who WON'T actually put in the work? Guaranteed failure.
Drop down (even if informally) to just a member. Or just drop off the face of the earth. You live in SoCal; Unless you have to ride your bike to and from the ride starts, there have got to be plenty of other groups with whom you can ride.
08-15-12, 03:09 PM
#29
Senior Member
You know ... solo rides are fun, easy, don't require planning, etc.
08-15-12, 03:25 PM
#30
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Stepping down and just enjoying the rides is what I'd do. No amount of being nice and polite will stop her from walking all over you.
08-15-12, 03:48 PM
#31
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The club is doomed with that whack-job in control. Anyone who takes the reigns must also carry her baggage, and carry it the way she wants you to carry it.
Anyone who takes a leadership position will likely have to contend with the same BS as you did. Eventually nobody will step up and the club will die.
You can always try to start your own club and not allow the whack-job to join.
Anyone who takes a leadership position will likely have to contend with the same BS as you did. Eventually nobody will step up and the club will die.
You can always try to start your own club and not allow the whack-job to join.
08-15-12, 07:27 PM
#32
Just Keep Pedaling
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The club is doomed with that whack-job in control. Anyone who takes the reigns must also carry her baggage, and carry it the way she wants you to carry it.
Anyone who takes a leadership position will likely have to contend with the same BS as you did. Eventually nobody will step up and the club will die.
Anyone who takes a leadership position will likely have to contend with the same BS as you did. Eventually nobody will step up and the club will die.
High-maintenance relationships are a pain in the chamois.
Any club that has that person in a leadership role is doomed. A strong leader who is willing to take the time and effort to lead everything can be successful, but a control freak who WON'T actually put in the work? Guaranteed failure.
Drop down (even if informally) to just a member. Or just drop off the face of the earth. You live in SoCal; Unless you have to ride your bike to and from the ride starts, there have got to be plenty of other groups with whom you can ride.
Any club that has that person in a leadership role is doomed. A strong leader who is willing to take the time and effort to lead everything can be successful, but a control freak who WON'T actually put in the work? Guaranteed failure.
Drop down (even if informally) to just a member. Or just drop off the face of the earth. You live in SoCal; Unless you have to ride your bike to and from the ride starts, there have got to be plenty of other groups with whom you can ride.
She is not a bad person, just very control oriented and feels she knows the right (only) way.
Last edited by Beachgrad05; 08-15-12 at 07:33 PM. Reason: Clarifying
08-15-12, 10:53 PM
#33
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..............
We do most our rides like this. We ride alone but always seem to meet riders our speed to ride with. After a couple of times they ask us what time, where we start then they just show up. After a while we find a small group that is pretty considerate and will let us know when they want to ride and "show up" without leaving us hanging. As you can see Gina and I are hardly ever alone anymore.
We have no set time, so we say we'll be there about XX time give or take a few minutes. We know who is reliable and who is not which is cool. One thing I ask of people wanting to ride with us is don't BS me. If you get me out of bed rushing to make start time you requested and you don't show up......
I don't really understand the club thing because no matter where we ride, we always meet other riders with similar abilites that want to ride. Many female riders that don't want to ride alone. Of course I always get extra flat tire duties but it's cool, we have fun.
08-15-12, 11:51 PM
#34
SuperGimp
Good gravy. Some people.
08-16-12, 12:31 AM
#35
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I've had riders ask me to change our usual time from 10 am at the trail to 9 am then not show up, no call. 
One dude asked me to ride 1 hour early, then ride inland 10 miles to meet him, then didn't show.
Never callede,, never heard from him again. Maybe the ducks at Imperial ate him, I don't know.
08-16-12, 05:52 AM
#36
Senior Member
Tell her you dont want to lead rides at this time.
Its just a bike ride.
I have been in similar situations, being pushed into leading rides. You may create your own little group too. Or find another club. I belong to 4 different cycling clubs and enjoy them all for different reasons but also know not to get tied up in leading rides. Too much negativity and red tape.
Its just a bike ride.
I have been in similar situations, being pushed into leading rides. You may create your own little group too. Or find another club. I belong to 4 different cycling clubs and enjoy them all for different reasons but also know not to get tied up in leading rides. Too much negativity and red tape.
08-16-12, 07:41 AM
#37
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So I bought the wrong spare tube. And I said "thank you" for helping me with your pump. Heck, I even OFFERED to pump up my own tire but NO, YOU WOULDN'T LET ME! You HAD to be the gentleman! But to call me a woman for it?!?!?
Let's see:
1) New Tube (with correct length valve stem) - check
2) Replace CO2 Cartridge - check
3) Fix broken seal on inflator from first faux pas - check
4) Remember to not roll bike through invisible layer of thorns - check
08-16-12, 08:35 AM
#38
Senior Member
I would have told her to stuff it, turned around and be gone in an instant. Such kind of behaviour wasnt allowed to my own parents, nevermind a hissy fit princes -spoiled brat type. She would be treaded over heavily for such attitude. Really, that is why I do not bother anymore with clubs or similar stuff, there always has to be a hothead type involved. I do not need that in my fun acitivity, but you choose for your self.
08-16-12, 10:10 AM
#40
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I've mostly given up on the local LBS group rides. They advertise their rides (except for one Sunday 20+mph group) as 'no drop, regroup at lights and hills'. Before the ride, and during the first half of the ride, people in the group keep repeating how they'll regroup at the top of hills and such. That goes on until the first good-sized hill, where the egos of the leaders take over, and they drop people off the back and leave them in the dust. I'm not always one of the people dropped; if I'm not, I'll hang back so whomever is dropped doesn't have to ride alone.
It's the same thing every time; it reminds me of Lucy, a football, and a boy named Charlie Brown. It doesn't piss me off that they drop people; it pisses me off that they blatantly lie about the type of ride it is. It's also more than a little annoying that they're perfectly fine with dropping newcomers 15 miles into the countryside, who may not know how to get back to civilization. (Oh, yeah... web site says cue sheets are available, but the ones online are wrong and correct ones aren't ever available).
The only reason I've been riding with them at all is that the LBS is only 1 1/2 miles from my front door, so I don't have to borrow my wife's car to get to the start. I'm moving next month. I'll either be looking for rides at another LBS, or sucking it up and driving 20 miles to a club ride that starts and ends at a nearby microbrewery.
It's the same thing every time; it reminds me of Lucy, a football, and a boy named Charlie Brown. It doesn't piss me off that they drop people; it pisses me off that they blatantly lie about the type of ride it is. It's also more than a little annoying that they're perfectly fine with dropping newcomers 15 miles into the countryside, who may not know how to get back to civilization. (Oh, yeah... web site says cue sheets are available, but the ones online are wrong and correct ones aren't ever available).
The only reason I've been riding with them at all is that the LBS is only 1 1/2 miles from my front door, so I don't have to borrow my wife's car to get to the start. I'm moving next month. I'll either be looking for rides at another LBS, or sucking it up and driving 20 miles to a club ride that starts and ends at a nearby microbrewery.
08-16-12, 12:48 PM
#41
The one thing that drives me absolutely nuts about my club's rides is that they almost always start at least 15 min. late. 25 min. late is not that uncommon. There are actually people who show up at the posted starting time or even late precisely because they know the ride will start late and they don't want to arrive early and have to hang around. Ride leaders, including our club president, show up late for their own rides. Sometimes the late people live 10 min. from the start. Do that on one of my rides and you will likely find yourself SOL, which is not a good thing since I lead rides from relatively remote start locations. Early this year a guy was running late for one of my rides. He called me and I said I would leave a cue sheet on my widnshield. I could tell by his voice he was waiting for me to say "That's o.k. We'll will wait for you." Wasn't going to happen. Other people made the effort to get there on time. I am not going to waste their time because you didn't.
And don't get me started on the people who show up, stuff the cue sheets in their jersey pockets and then ride off the front and miss turns while others follow them. I no longer yell for those people or try to chase them down. There is a cue sheet for a reason. Use it.
08-16-12, 12:56 PM
#42
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Do that on one of my rides and you will likely find yourself SOL, which is not a good thing since I lead rides from relatively remote start locations. Early this year a guy was running late for one of my rides. He called me and I said I would leave a cue sheet on my widnshield. I could tell by his voice he was waiting for me to say "That's o.k. We'll will wait for you." Wasn't going to happen. Other people made the effort to get there on time. I am not going to waste their time because you didn't.
08-16-12, 01:58 PM
#43
It's really ashame because behavior has deteriorated over the 17 years I have been doing club rides.
There was an indicent a few weeks ago on a C ride that went through what your average suburbanite would consider a really bad city neighborhood that in reality is a not that bad. A woman riding a fixie got a flat. 650c wheels, which are rare. Despite it being an urban ride the day after heavy rain (lots of crap on the streets), she only brought one tube. The valve stem broke during the changing. The group ended up leaving the woman and her friend on the corner while they waitied for their husbands to drive an hour from the way out 'burbs to pick them up. Later, one of the husbands called the ride leader are cursed him out for leaving two women alone in a dangerous neighborhood. According to the ride leader, the women did not clearly express a desire not be left alone. The club president spoke with the leader, the women and the husband (not exactly disinterested parties) and determined that they had clearly expressed such a desire. Then we heard from an impartial memeber of the ride group who said that they did not clearly express a desire not be be left alone.
Here is the interesting part. These women could have called cabs. Better yet, they could have walked about 6 blocks to a desireable neighborhood near U. Penn. that has its share of $500K+ homes and a lovely park and coffee shop to hang out in. The impatial observer suggested doing so before the group left. The woman who flatted rejected that idea because she was scared her husband would get mad at her if she damaged her rim walking the bike with a flat. Excuse me, but you would rather remain in a place where you allegedly feel your life is in danger because you fear the wrath of your husband over ruining a $50 bike part? You either didn't feel that threatened or you have poor decision making skills. (And what does it say about the health of that relationship?) What many of us think really happened is that the women told the group to go on because they felt guilty about demanding that it wait so long and then told their husbands a different story when they (the husbands) got upset about their wives being left behind in what they considered a bad neighborhood. All this got communicated via the club's list serve. Only the irate husband chimed in on their side. Not once did either of the women speak up. My theory is that they did not because they didn't want to perpetuate a lie. The ride leader has since stopped leading rides.
There was an indicent a few weeks ago on a C ride that went through what your average suburbanite would consider a really bad city neighborhood that in reality is a not that bad. A woman riding a fixie got a flat. 650c wheels, which are rare. Despite it being an urban ride the day after heavy rain (lots of crap on the streets), she only brought one tube. The valve stem broke during the changing. The group ended up leaving the woman and her friend on the corner while they waitied for their husbands to drive an hour from the way out 'burbs to pick them up. Later, one of the husbands called the ride leader are cursed him out for leaving two women alone in a dangerous neighborhood. According to the ride leader, the women did not clearly express a desire not be left alone. The club president spoke with the leader, the women and the husband (not exactly disinterested parties) and determined that they had clearly expressed such a desire. Then we heard from an impartial memeber of the ride group who said that they did not clearly express a desire not be be left alone.
Here is the interesting part. These women could have called cabs. Better yet, they could have walked about 6 blocks to a desireable neighborhood near U. Penn. that has its share of $500K+ homes and a lovely park and coffee shop to hang out in. The impatial observer suggested doing so before the group left. The woman who flatted rejected that idea because she was scared her husband would get mad at her if she damaged her rim walking the bike with a flat. Excuse me, but you would rather remain in a place where you allegedly feel your life is in danger because you fear the wrath of your husband over ruining a $50 bike part? You either didn't feel that threatened or you have poor decision making skills. (And what does it say about the health of that relationship?) What many of us think really happened is that the women told the group to go on because they felt guilty about demanding that it wait so long and then told their husbands a different story when they (the husbands) got upset about their wives being left behind in what they considered a bad neighborhood. All this got communicated via the club's list serve. Only the irate husband chimed in on their side. Not once did either of the women speak up. My theory is that they did not because they didn't want to perpetuate a lie. The ride leader has since stopped leading rides.
08-16-12, 02:27 PM
#44
SuperGimp
Let's not forget that BeachGrad's group consists of a lot of newer riders and some of the ride habits that you are espousing really wouldn't work.... if I recall, they're trying to encourage women to take up riding, not drop them like Schleck with a mechanical.
08-16-12, 02:37 PM
#45
Just Keep Pedaling
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Luckily - the rides have been the good part.
I referenced being "criticized" because I am new to leading rides and was leading the ride where we had a member fall. I could not have stopped what happened. We came upon some joggers on Pacific Coast Highway that were in the bike lane area. The group was trying to get past them...and first one member slowed by not pedalling...the next hit their brakes to slow and the person behind her touched wheels and went down. No serious injuries (bumps/scrapes)...I was out front and far enough ahead that I was in a spot I couldn't see this occuring. Realized we had an issue and went back.
Anyway in addition to this we had a rider get a flat. She pulled off and the person who was riding near her just kept going and did not communicate up the line that we had a mechanical issue and that someone had stopped. We get to the turn off on the route and she is not with us ... and when we ask if anyone saw her stop... the rider said...she pulleed off but I don't know why. Hmmm We had a large group on what was suppose to be a "no drop ride" so I was in the front "leading" and turning to check on the 10 ladies behind me...I did not realize someone was missing until we had made our turn and were regrouping.
I got told that I started the ride out at too fast a pace (I checked my garmin after and was at about 14 mph avg for the first few miles)...we had set the ride as a "PACE" ride with the minimum needed 12 mph. The riders on this ride were all at minimum intermediate and I did not notice anyone struggling or verbalizing they were struggling up the line to me.
Regardless....I am learning and willing to learn what it takes to be a good ride leader as I enjoy riding with a group. We don't ride in pacelines..we just try to stay together as a group.
I referenced being "criticized" because I am new to leading rides and was leading the ride where we had a member fall. I could not have stopped what happened. We came upon some joggers on Pacific Coast Highway that were in the bike lane area. The group was trying to get past them...and first one member slowed by not pedalling...the next hit their brakes to slow and the person behind her touched wheels and went down. No serious injuries (bumps/scrapes)...I was out front and far enough ahead that I was in a spot I couldn't see this occuring. Realized we had an issue and went back.
Anyway in addition to this we had a rider get a flat. She pulled off and the person who was riding near her just kept going and did not communicate up the line that we had a mechanical issue and that someone had stopped. We get to the turn off on the route and she is not with us ... and when we ask if anyone saw her stop... the rider said...she pulleed off but I don't know why. Hmmm We had a large group on what was suppose to be a "no drop ride" so I was in the front "leading" and turning to check on the 10 ladies behind me...I did not realize someone was missing until we had made our turn and were regrouping.
I got told that I started the ride out at too fast a pace (I checked my garmin after and was at about 14 mph avg for the first few miles)...we had set the ride as a "PACE" ride with the minimum needed 12 mph. The riders on this ride were all at minimum intermediate and I did not notice anyone struggling or verbalizing they were struggling up the line to me.
Regardless....I am learning and willing to learn what it takes to be a good ride leader as I enjoy riding with a group. We don't ride in pacelines..we just try to stay together as a group.
08-16-12, 02:46 PM
#46
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This sounds like an all ladies club with no males allowed. What a bunch of sexist. If I was in the area and if I found out where you gals meet, then I would just wait around until the group started off and tag along. I guess the cops would pull me over as a stalker though so that wouldn't work. Oh well you are just sexist.
I am only kidding. It would be great having a good group to ride with.
I have been riding for about 9 years and in a couple of months I may be going for my first group ride with some family members. I have ridden a couple of times with friends but these rides are at least a year apart.
It sounds like you have already resigned your post and that is good. Now the next step is to always say "NO" when asked to do anything by your now president of the club. It wont take long for her to quit asking and then you can just enjoy riding.
I am only kidding. It would be great having a good group to ride with.
I have been riding for about 9 years and in a couple of months I may be going for my first group ride with some family members. I have ridden a couple of times with friends but these rides are at least a year apart.
It sounds like you have already resigned your post and that is good. Now the next step is to always say "NO" when asked to do anything by your now president of the club. It wont take long for her to quit asking and then you can just enjoy riding.
08-16-12, 02:48 PM
#47
Senior Member
There are a couple of clubs I ride with, but haven't joined any. Back when I was racing model planes, I was an officer in a club in the SF Valley. Left a really bad taste in my mouth. Now, I hang with clubs, and focus on keeping it fun. I refuse to get volunteered for stuff now.
08-16-12, 02:51 PM
#48
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This sounds like an all ladies club with no males allowed. What a bunch of sexist. If I was in the area and if I found out where you gals meet, then I would just wait around until the group started off and tag along. I guess the cops would pull me over as a stalker though so that wouldn't work. Oh well you are just sexist.
I am only kidding. It would be great having a good group to ride with.
I am only kidding. It would be great having a good group to ride with.
08-16-12, 02:56 PM
#49
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This sounds like an all ladies club with no males allowed. What a bunch of sexist. If I was in the area and if I found out where you gals meet, then I would just wait around until the group started off and tag along. I guess the cops would pull me over as a stalker though so that wouldn't work. Oh well you are just sexist.
Yep...ladies only. Tho at times we have ridden out of our various sponsors shops and we will have male LBS riders on our ride (to some of the ladies consternation). Heck it was nice to have the one shop guy on our ride the day the one lady got the flat and the other fell...he helped change the flat and he rode back to the shop and got his car to transport the fallen rider and her bike back to the shop. So men do come in handy. I don't have issues with guys along but some of the members do...and stalkers have been a concern/worry to a few (again...not something I am too worried about or concerned with)...hence our rides are posted in a private member only group.
08-16-12, 05:40 PM
#50
Senior Member
It's really ashame because behavior has deteriorated over the 17 years I have been doing club rides.
There was an indicent a few weeks ago on a C ride that went through what your average suburbanite would consider a really bad city neighborhood that in reality is a not that bad. A woman riding a fixie got a flat. 650c wheels, which are rare. Despite it being an urban ride the day after heavy rain (lots of crap on the streets), she only brought one tube. The valve stem broke during the changing. The group ended up leaving the woman and her friend on the corner while they waitied for their husbands to drive an hour from the way out 'burbs to pick them up. Later, one of the husbands called the ride leader are cursed him out for leaving two women alone in a dangerous neighborhood. According to the ride leader, the women did not clearly express a desire not be left alone. The club president spoke with the leader, the women and the husband (not exactly disinterested parties) and determined that they had clearly expressed such a desire. Then we heard from an impartial memeber of the ride group who said that they did not clearly express a desire not be be left alone.
Here is the interesting part. These women could have called cabs. Better yet, they could have walked about 6 blocks to a desireable neighborhood near U. Penn. that has its share of $500K+ homes and a lovely park and coffee shop to hang out in. The impatial observer suggested doing so before the group left. The woman who flatted rejected that idea because she was scared her husband would get mad at her if she damaged her rim walking the bike with a flat. Excuse me, but you would rather remain in a place where you allegedly feel your life is in danger because you fear the wrath of your husband over ruining a $50 bike part? You either didn't feel that threatened or you have poor decision making skills. (And what does it say about the health of that relationship?) What many of us think really happened is that the women told the group to go on because they felt guilty about demanding that it wait so long and then told their husbands a different story when they (the husbands) got upset about their wives being left behind in what they considered a bad neighborhood. All this got communicated via the club's list serve. Only the irate husband chimed in on their side. Not once did either of the women speak up. My theory is that they did not because they didn't want to perpetuate a lie. The ride leader has since stopped leading rides.
There was an indicent a few weeks ago on a C ride that went through what your average suburbanite would consider a really bad city neighborhood that in reality is a not that bad. A woman riding a fixie got a flat. 650c wheels, which are rare. Despite it being an urban ride the day after heavy rain (lots of crap on the streets), she only brought one tube. The valve stem broke during the changing. The group ended up leaving the woman and her friend on the corner while they waitied for their husbands to drive an hour from the way out 'burbs to pick them up. Later, one of the husbands called the ride leader are cursed him out for leaving two women alone in a dangerous neighborhood. According to the ride leader, the women did not clearly express a desire not be left alone. The club president spoke with the leader, the women and the husband (not exactly disinterested parties) and determined that they had clearly expressed such a desire. Then we heard from an impartial memeber of the ride group who said that they did not clearly express a desire not be be left alone.
Here is the interesting part. These women could have called cabs. Better yet, they could have walked about 6 blocks to a desireable neighborhood near U. Penn. that has its share of $500K+ homes and a lovely park and coffee shop to hang out in. The impatial observer suggested doing so before the group left. The woman who flatted rejected that idea because she was scared her husband would get mad at her if she damaged her rim walking the bike with a flat. Excuse me, but you would rather remain in a place where you allegedly feel your life is in danger because you fear the wrath of your husband over ruining a $50 bike part? You either didn't feel that threatened or you have poor decision making skills. (And what does it say about the health of that relationship?) What many of us think really happened is that the women told the group to go on because they felt guilty about demanding that it wait so long and then told their husbands a different story when they (the husbands) got upset about their wives being left behind in what they considered a bad neighborhood. All this got communicated via the club's list serve. Only the irate husband chimed in on their side. Not once did either of the women speak up. My theory is that they did not because they didn't want to perpetuate a lie. The ride leader has since stopped leading rides.
