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How Do You Deal With Harassment?

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How Do You Deal With Harassment?

Old 09-03-19, 06:34 AM
  #176  
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Originally Posted by anon06 View Post
How do all of you manage to stay calm and unaffected, while being harassed, often? I've tried being silent and not saying anything to motorists, but that still caused me to feel angry at being treated like this. I don't have the energy or ability to try shouting myself hoarse at every motorist who harasses me, trying to see if they can hear my explanation, as they're farther down the road..
I think of car horns, like bad music. I can't rearrange their 'bad music'. Also, When I am honked at. I don't jump. Because, They may have a bonafide reason(my not noticing the traffic light going green) or, road rage.
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Old 09-08-19, 02:49 PM
  #177  
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I deal with the harassment by ignoring them. They feel empowered by the security and power of their car, and they can run away really, really quickly.
Funny how I've never had anyone confront me in person, but behind a wheel - literally thousands.
But getting mad or yelling back won't change anything with them - it's their own personal problem, not mine. The sooner they go on with their their life and out of mine, that much better.
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Old 09-08-19, 07:18 PM
  #178  
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Originally Posted by IronM View Post
I deal with the harassment by ignoring them. They feel empowered by the security and power of their car, and they can run away really, really quickly.
Funny how I've never had anyone confront me in person, but behind a wheel - literally thousands.
But getting mad or yelling back won't change anything with them - it's their own personal problem, not mine. The sooner they go on with their their life and out of mine, that much better.
Thousands... WOW, and I thought I had a problem... one or two a year... NOT, a problem |I guess, I just needs to relax a bit...
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Old 09-08-19, 10:37 PM
  #179  
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Originally Posted by IronM View Post
I deal with the harassment by ignoring them.They feel empowered by the security and power of their car, and they can run away really, really quickly.
Funny how I've never had anyone confront me in person, but behind a wheel - literally thousands.
But getting mad or yelling back won't change anything with them - it's their own personal problem, not mine. The sooner they go on with their their life and out of mine, that much better.
That works some time, but not all the times. Yep, when they're in a vehicle they just looking for your reaction to give them a cheap laugh.

Still, there is no one way to handle every situation so you need to be prepared with a variety of solutions. Some people are to thick to understand sarcasm or other visual cues for example.

Others interpret your restraint as fear and therefore become even more boastful. In those cases, it may be better to display a "stand your ground" attitude lest the bullying escalate out of control very quickly.
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Old 09-10-19, 09:03 PM
  #180  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
That works some time, but not all the times. Yep, when they're in a vehicle they just looking for your reaction to give them a cheap laugh.

Still, there is no one way to handle every situation so you need to be prepared with a variety of solutions. Some people are to thick to understand sarcasm or other visual cues for example.

Others interpret your restraint as fear and therefore become even more boastful. In those cases, it may be better to display a "stand your ground" attitude lest the bullying escalate out of control very quickly.
How could they? When properly ignored, harassers have zero confirmation that I care at all, or that I even heard them. That's what ignoring means. Give them absolutely zero satisfaction.

Having said that, I agree there can be times it's best to confront and stand your ground. I have no problem doing that but have found it rare to be necessary.
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Old 09-11-19, 01:25 AM
  #181  
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Originally Posted by AlmostTrick View Post
How could they? When properly ignored, harassers have zero confirmation that I care at all, or that I even heard them. That's what ignoring means. Give them absolutely zero satisfaction.

Having said that, I agree there can be times it's best to confront and stand your ground. I have no problem doing that but have found it rare to be necessary.
Sounds logical when you put it like that. But believe me when I tell you that hoodlums, bullies and thugs don't always follow a course of logic. Unless you can get away completely, ignoring them won't always work. In fact it can have just the opposite effect. Instead, think of it as one viable course among many, but should never be your only option.
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Old 09-11-19, 07:05 AM
  #182  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Sounds logical when you put it like that. But believe me when I tell you that hoodlums, bullies and thugs don't always follow a course of logic. Unless you can get away completely, ignoring them won't always work. In fact it can have just the opposite effect. Instead, think of it as one viable course among many, but should never be your only option.
So what makes you think arguing with a bully and a thug is going to change his mind?

Let's put it this way. In this particular thread, there are basically two opposing opinions. Of those people still actively debating how many has changed his mind?

On the road, it's probably just as productive arguing with a harrasser as ignoring him. But you'll end up more aggravated AND risk getting into a physical altercation.

Finally, I don't think I've changed your opinion.
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Old 09-11-19, 09:00 AM
  #183  
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Surprisingly , I don't come across it very often. I would be in the "ignore it " category. I have been honked at and sometimes I don't even know why. It sure scares the crap outta me though! Joe
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Old 09-11-19, 09:04 AM
  #184  
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Hey @anon06. Honestly, I try to ignore it. It isn't easy to ignore but as long as it isn't threatening my well being I try to remember that ~45-60% of the population in America is on some sort of medication depending on the study. I also try to remember that approx 20% of the population is on some sort of Psych med, again depending on study. A confrontation while someone is piloting their 2000+ lb metal weapon and possibly off their meds is not a situation I want to enter into.

I do have a FLY6, and I'm going to get a FLY12. Photo/video documentation makes a big difference. Should I be constantly harrassed, and if I was from a small town, I would find out how to petition the councel to address it. Meeting with other residents, discussing the video and the cyclist point of view, discussing the issues, gathering support, gathering signatures, and bringing a resolution before the township to address it. I am NOT saying that would be easy, but to move the needle it's likely what's required. Once you have community support, the bike advocacy group might take up the cause.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.
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Old 09-11-19, 09:05 AM
  #185  
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Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
So what makes you think arguing with a bully and a thug is going to change his mind?


Let's put it this way. In this particular thread, there are basically two opposing opinions. Of those people still actively debating how many has changed his mind?


On the road, it's probably just as productive arguing with a harrasser as ignoring him. But you'll end up more aggravated AND risk getting into a physical altercation.


Finally, I don't think I've changed your opinion.
Not in the least. But not because your advice isn't sound, its just that experience is the best teacher.

Thing is, I grew up following that philosophy and used it during most of my youth. Sadly, it never worked, and I spent most of my time trying to avoid any confrontation or just running away from them. That's what I mean by thugs.

Unfortunate it eventually catches up to you so sooner or later you have to face the harassment and the bullying for it to changed. Now that I'm older, I know when to ignore (it does work) and when to speak up. You just have to be aware of all the situations and what solutions works best depending on the environment. I certainly wouldn't argue with someone in a car in the street.
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Old 09-11-19, 09:17 AM
  #186  
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Originally Posted by sumgy View Post
If it is a work vehicle, I will call the business and report a WH&S issue involving one of their field units. Businesses are much more scared of having our WH&S inspectors visit their businesses than they are of the police.
A couple of years back, I got buzzed by a truck and trailer delivering equipment for a local well known rental company. It is a place where I've rented a lot of things over the years. I didn't get a truck number but I contacted them with a description, the road that I was on along with the date and time. They contacted me and advised that they held a special meeting with their employees about respect for cyclists on the road. Sometimes employees need to be made aware that their actions reflect on their employer.

Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
On the road, it's probably just as productive arguing with a harrasser as ignoring him. But you'll end up more aggravated AND risk getting into a physical altercation.
I had a guy in a pickup surge and dive in front of me on a semi busy road a few weeks back. I was turning off in about 100'. I exchanged some gestures with him, he stopped and started to get out of his truck. I've no idea of what he planned to do; however, I will never get physical with a motorist. Once there is a fist thrown or a push, you take it and call the authorities.
We are in the right if we call out bad behavior and I will continue doing so every time that someone puts my well being in jeopardy.
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Old 09-11-19, 02:08 PM
  #187  
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Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
So what makes you think arguing with a bully and a thug is going to change his mind?

Let's put it this way. In this particular thread, there are basically two opposing opinions. Of those people still actively debating how many has changed his mind?

On the road, it's probably just as productive arguing with a harrasser as ignoring him. But you'll end up more aggravated AND risk getting into a physical altercation.

Finally, I don't think I've changed your opinion.
Reading other posts, KraneXL seems to like confrontation. Not only with motorists, but with cyclists too.

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Old 09-11-19, 05:00 PM
  #188  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Not in the least. ....
You've made my point. This discussion is 41 days old with 192 comments.

Not only that, I've taken your advice by engaging and you haven't changed my mind either.

I'm not going to spend that much time arguing with a harrasser on the road.

Last edited by Daniel4; 09-11-19 at 05:07 PM.
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Old 09-11-19, 09:37 PM
  #189  
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Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
You've made my point. This discussion is 41 days old with 192 comments.

Not only that, I've taken your advice by engaging and you haven't changed my mind either.

I'm not going to spend that much time arguing with a harrasser on the road.
Don't be myopic. There's more to that post than just one sentence. Besides, you don't have to always change someones mind to have an influence on them. Sometimes it takes time for some people to come around.
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Old 09-12-19, 08:22 AM
  #190  
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Life is 5% what happens to you and 95% how you react to what happens. People who harass others are usually miserable individuals trying to spread their misery. The only way to best them is to not give them what they want. Of course, when harassment escalates to assault, you need to protect yourself through de-escalation, disengagement, defense and/or the involvement of authorities.

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Old 09-12-19, 06:28 PM
  #191  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Don't be myopic. There's more to that post than just one sentence. Besides, you don't have to always change someones mind to have an influence on them. Sometimes it takes time for some people to come around.
This discussion is about what to do with harrassers on the road. So if you're going to engage, of course want to change his mind, so he won't harrass you anymore.

But if you're not expecting that, then what's the point in engaging? Just ignore and move on.

So don't tell me you would spend 41 days arguing with a motorist because any shorter is myopic?
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Old 09-12-19, 08:29 PM
  #192  
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Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
This discussion is about what to do with harrassers on the road. So if you're going to engage, of course want to change his mind, so he won't harrass you anymore.

But if you're not expecting that, then what's the point in engaging? Just ignore and move on.

So don't tell me you would spend 41 days arguing with a motorist because any shorter is myopic?
That would be the best outcome of course, but in reality, just not letting things slide, and showing that you do not approve of his "driving stile" and going on record with the authorities in the end can change things... JMO
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Old 09-12-19, 08:39 PM
  #193  
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Well, I've been riding for 40+ years with lots of miles.. and lots of harassment. I leave out the stories of the more serious ones.
There no counting how many of that there is in a year.. x 40 years. It's a lot.
With practice, it's easy to just let the toxic people go. It's not weakness, but rather inner strength as to not fall into their trap.
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Old 09-13-19, 02:52 AM
  #194  
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Originally Posted by Daniel4 View Post
This discussion is about what to do with harrassers on the road. So if you're going to engage, of course want to change his mind, so he won't harrass you anymore.

But if you're not expecting that, then what's the point in engaging? Just ignore and move on.

So don't tell me you would spend 41 days arguing with a motorist because any shorter is myopic?
Do I need to make a list of all the times of suffering and oppression that existed before somebody stood up and said someting? How will anyone know if something/s wrong unless somebody speaks up?

I'm talking about change from worse to better even if its over time. But if for no other reason to speak up consider this quote:

"You either have to be part of the solution, or you're going to be part of the problem."


Now please don't respond to one post without considering the others. They're all connected.
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Old 09-13-19, 06:50 AM
  #195  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Do I need to make a list of all the times of suffering and oppression that existed before somebody stood up and said someting? How will anyone know if something/s wrong unless somebody speaks up?

I'm talking about change from worse to better even if its over time. But if for no other reason to speak up consider this quote:

"You either have to be part of the solution, or you're going to be part of the problem."


Now please don't respond to one post without considering the others. They're all connected.
At least you've tried to strike a balance between ignoring and confronting. I really hope no one here tries to be like this guy who goes around looking for altercations:

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Old 09-13-19, 07:07 AM
  #196  
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Originally Posted by KraneXL View Post
Do I need to make a list of all the times of suffering and oppression that existed before somebody stood up and said someting? How will anyone know if something/s wrong unless somebody speaks up?
Yes, why don't you provide a detailed accounting of "the times of suffering and oppression" you believe bicyclists have endured.

How does anyone with any responsibility for correcting "wrongs" react when you speak up with such dramatic hyperbole? How many minds are changed when you speak up about "the times of suffering and oppression" of bicyclists?

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Old 09-13-19, 09:13 AM
  #197  
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Originally Posted by JW Fas View Post
At least you've tried to strike a balance between ignoring and confronting. I really hope no one here tries to be like this guy who goes around looking for altercations:

https://youtu.be/MtWmG1PPKy8
Its a fine line sometimes. But other times you can usually tell when someone is beyond logic and reason. Just notice their response and you'll see their minds are so poorly developed they just can't understand general reasoning.

For example, I see someone riding against traffic and when I tell them their on the wrong side, they try and explain why its okay, for them to do so. Even ignoring the arrows in the bike lane. Its like trying to reason with a monkey.

Those are the types you ignore. They don't now enough to know why they're wrong and even think they're right and being clever.

Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
Yes, why don't you provide a detailed accounting of "the times of suffering and oppression" you believe bicyclists have endured.

How does anyone with any responsibility for correcting "wrongs" react when you speak up with such dramatic hyperbole? How many minds are changed when you speak up about "the times of suffering and oppression" of bicyclists?
Sorry can't put it in any smaller words for you. Just keep an open mind and maybe one day you'll understand it all.
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Old 09-13-19, 10:58 AM
  #198  
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The only harassment I get is from my close friends. Im 81 and still ride about 25 miles every other day. When I retired they thot I was going to play golf with them. But they ride carts and got almost no exercise. Now only one plays a few rounds, and the rest of them are all stove up, and cant play. They are in such bad shape I can bring myself to harass them much.
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Old 09-14-19, 03:21 PM
  #199  
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Has anyone read this yesterday? Woman says two men threw her off CitiBike, brutally beat her in Midtown attack

A young Manhattan woman was thrown from her CitiBike and punched until she was black-and-blue by a pair of thugs in Midtown on Tuesday night — and she described the terrifying, random attack to The Post.

The two men, who were still at large Friday night, stood side by side, blocking the bike lane as she rode toward them on Eighth Avenue, she recalled, asking to be identified only by her first name, “Ina.”

The two locked eyes with her as she rode toward them, said the woman, who is in her 20s.

Then they broke into a run, charging toward her, laughing.
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Old 09-17-19, 03:02 PM
  #200  
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Get their license plate #! Smile/wave. If you actually engage in conversation, ignore what they actually said to you & say something like: 'its a *brand of bike youre rideing*'
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