Shp4man

I live in San Diego, with some very congested freeways, especially at rush hour.
After a recent fender bender (in my pickup) in which some goofy woman cut me off, then slammed on the brakes to avoid another brainless idiot that cut her off - they determined that it was my fault. I was the guy in back- so.
Needless to say, I was somewhat disappointed with this, since the fault lies squarely on the shoulders of the moron that cut off the woman in front of me. This has affected the way I drive, as now I trust absolutely no one to act in a reasonable manner on the road anymore, and if they screw up, it will somehow be determined to be "my fault".
And the worst part of it is that it's beginning to creep into daily life away from driving. It seems to me I spend a great deal of time each day dealing with the actions of defective, stupid, greedy or lazy individuals............ And I"M EFFING SICK OF IT!!

Is this how it begins?

Any advice you guys have will be considered and appreciated.

CACycling

How long you lived in SoCal? I haven't trusted other drivers in decades.

jdon

I don't know man.. I was in San Diego the other day and had to cut off a crazy lady that was trying to pass me. The guy behind her hit her with his truck so I just drove off. Idiots.

Shp4man

gcottay

Sounds like zero fun is being had.

Vacation?
Retirement?
Meditation?
A nice Merlot?
Hard core driving instruction?
Hang a heavy boxing bag in the garage?
Quality time with a significant other?
More cycling?

Biker395 

I can relate to this. Not only has old age turned me into a fussbudget crab, I've was also threatened with full responsibility for an accident I did not cause. In my case, someone dropped a vacuum cleaner off a truck on a 4 lane interstate. Rather than hit the vacuum cleaner, the car in front of me decided to test their ABS system from 70 MPH.

Theirs was better than mine.

My insurance company proposed to find me 100% at fault. I asked them:

"So ... you're telling me that if you were able to identify who dropped that vacuum on the freeway, you wouldn't be going after them for the damage?"

B. Carfree

I have absolute faith in motorists. I firmly believe that most of them will do the stupidest thing that I can think of. Sometimes I encounter some who test my faith, either by being more creative than I am or by actually driving according to the vehicle code. I think these latter ones are just messing with me.

I don't know if this is how it starts, but it is certainly part of the journey.

osco53

Anticipate mistakes,
Keep a reasonable following distance, three car lengths at 50 mph don't cut it,
And if your running tight/tailgating so no one will cut in front of you YOUR an IDIOT and should be charged.
Always keep an escape route open,

And If a crash is coming protect your front end at all cost.....


OP,, Your not a Grumpy Old Man your a wise Old Man and YES This Nation, the People who OWN this country want us stupid....

Dudelsack 

Grab a Mangria and listen to Adam Carolla's podcast. Boy howdy, he can complain about anything.

volosong

I was in love with San Diego when I lived there. Spent my Navy years there, got my undergraduate degree from SDSU, left and came back to work and live in Escondido. I always thought that I wanted to retire there; that there was no better climate in the country...shoot, you'd have a hard time finding better climate anywhere in the world. Ahhhh... That was thirty years ago. It's all grown up now and is just as congested as Los Angeles. I'm off to Montana/Idaho/Wyoming when I finally stop drawing a regular paycheck in a few more years.

Advice? Bail if you can.

Lightingguy

Jeez Osco, this is the 50 plus forum and you're giving advice in a Parent to Child format that is certain to be useful.

The OP just wanted to rant.

Grumpy reply over.

36Oly_Rider

When you start yelling "GET OFF MY LAWN!" to kids and calling your neighbor "Putz!" or "Moron." Then you can call yourself a full fledge "Grumpy Ol' Man"...Until then, stay young my friend...Whoops, sorry, 42 yo in the 50+ Forum...I still have 8 more years...Have a nice day, mister.... (I should be out riding bikes with my friends)

Chaco

I was you a year ago. Then my liver was poisoned by an antibiotic called Augmentin. My skin was hypersensitive. I couldn't sleep under a sheet or a blanket for 3 months. I couldn't even make it around the block without getting exhausted. I couldn't sleep more than an hour a day for the first month. My doctor was considering putting me on the liver transplant list.

The first day I was able to sleep under a sheet and blanket, I almost cried, it was such a terrific feeling. Then I got on my bike again, and couldn't get over how lucky I was to be able to ride my bike next to the ocean. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have friends and family who encouraged me while I was falling apart physically.

Confronting my mortality in such a direct way put everything into perspective. The little annoyances seem so much smaller now. Yes, a stupid driver honking at me for taking the lane still pisses me off. But it used to piss me off for the whole day; now it lasts for about 5 seconds.

You and I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world to ride a bicycle. I hope you find a way to make that the focal point of your day.

stapfam

My family name is "Grumpy" so tells it all.

Artmo 

Regardless of who dropped the vac, you were obviously driving too close to the car in front. Ever heard of the 2-second rule? 3 seconds for heavy vehicles. BTW, I was born grumpy, my wife says.

leob1

I don't trust anybody that is driving. Too many people texting and phoning and just not paying attention, so I do it for them.

There was a insurance scam a few years back. Car1 would pull in front of an unsuspecting victim, and slow a bit so the victim would get closer. Car2 would then cut in front of car1 and hit thier brakes. Car1 would salm on thier brakes causing the victim to hit them. Car2 would drive off. Since the victim hit car1 from behind they where 100% at fault.
Then the driver of car1 would sue them for all kinds of stuff, and the insurance company would settle the suit. Car1, car2 and thier lawyer would split the profit, the victim got a higher insurance bill.

Artkansas 

California motor vehicle code is pretty clear on that. You are responsible for maintaining enough distance between you and the car ahead of you to prevent a collision. The fly in the ointment of course is that if you try to maintain a proper following distance, some buffoon will interpret that gap as more than enough room to stuff their car into. If you try to maintain the proper clearance, you will be forced backwards with respect to traffic. Unintended consequences of a well intentioned law.

David Bierbaum

That's why I hate city traffic. If you leave enough room to avoid those braking emergency accidents, then some yahoo WILL pull into the gap, ad infinitum

Retro Grouch 

I'm thinking "they" must be Democrats. If "they" were Republicans they would have blamed it on Obama.

Biker395 

Of course ... by definition. But:

(1) Even 2 seconds is not enough when the person in front of you slams on the brakes from 70 MPH with zero warning. You're assuming I was following closer than that, and I wasn't.

(2) Try driving through Los Angeles on the 405 sometime and maintaining a 2 second distance. It ain't easy.

(3) Regardless the person that dropped the item is still obviously the primary cause of the crash. I'm quite certain the insurance company would have gone after them for the damage to all of the cars, should they have been identified.

Pamestique 

I wear a cap all the time that says "GRUMPY" so I can relate.

I live in Orange County which I argue is more congested than San Diego (but not as congested - thank goodness, as LA) so I can relate. Just recently my company moved to South Irvine. My commute before was 8 miles (I would commuted by bike) and it took me 10 minutes by car. My commute is now 7 miles and its take me 25 - 30 minutes by car! I have no choice but to bike commute (but that is a whole other issue I need to deal with). Watching fellow motorists drive that distance actually scares me... this morning I watched someone weave in and out of the bike lane. They were obviously texting. Just imagine if I were in that lane commuting on bike!!! Unfortunately the City fo Irvine is probably one of the densest population wise, in the county, maybe the state. Just too many people trying to get someplace and none of them have a clue!

I don't see the traffic getting better and even with all the laws out there addressing texting and using a cell, they are frankly ignored and drivers are getting more and more unaware of their surroundings. I could be stressed out everyday but I try and relax. I give myself plenty of time to commut to work so the congestion does not cause me issues. I try not to take the behavior of bad drivers personally. I start thinking about my bike ride after work (if I drive in) or my ride home (if I bike commute). Life is too short to get frantic about other drivers.

I don't think your rant is limited to us old folks... everyone is affected and it ain't gonna get better.... when I retire (IF!) I plan on moving somewhere where the town has only one stop light and traffic is light.

Pamestique 

And yes this ^ you are indeed very fortunate! I have said many times when I get the opportunity to retire, if I can afford only one year, I want to live in San Diego County and ride my bikes!

Daspydyr 

I have a GRUMPY Baseball Cap from Universal Studios, so I guess we have a sub-culture in the 50+ forums.

CRAP and Injustice flow downhill and the guy at the back of the line is always at the bottom of the hill. This is nothing personal, this is a police officer densely following SOP! Its not you-it is life. Happens, shake it off. Life is still good! You are a good person, don't get jaded! Write out a list of all the good things you enjoy in life and focus on that written list.

Its strange how an event like this accident hits hard and stays deep. Root it out and get back to being you. Be more defensive than ever on those horrid California roads. My wife and I always complain about trips to SoCal. But where do we always go? LaJolla, West Lake, Anaheim. You live in a great place, get back to enjoying it.

Daspydyr 

I used to live in Lincoln, KS. They had one stop light. It was only turned on for a month during harvest! That is light traffic.

Then again, this may be the KING of small Towns: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing,_Arizona

volosong

Dubois, Wyoming?