So are the days of our lives...
01-14-16, 09:01 PM
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01-14-16, 09:46 PM
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Thanks everyone. Really it is what it is, have to do what we have to do.
Keep in mind we've been aware that my dad wasn't well for about 12-13 years. It's not a surprise and it's been a long and steady decline.
We're prepared, meaning my dad, because we went through the drill when my mom had cancer (2000-2003). Although we had most of my mom's stuff handled ourselves, my mom was the one that actually paid the medical bills for most of that period (and found thousands of dollars of errors/whatever). I handled her living will, she lived with me for 2 years until my dad finished his stint at his work (to maintain health benefits and qualify for lifetime coverage). I was the one that essentially gave her permission to give up. My mom felt that my dad may not let her go, hence she asked me to handle everything. She was correct about my dad until about 2 weeks to go, when it was painfully apparent that her time was near. My dad then admitted that, yeah, there's only one direction to go at that point. I made all the last calls on my mom - no tube, no IV, called the funeral home, etc.
This time we're all equally empowered. My brother is handling the money, he told me he doesn't want to disrupt the medical side of things (so it's on me now). My other brother and my sister are a bit too far to be super involved, but we bounce ideas off each other (and my other brother has come down to take care of my dad, etc).
My dad's condition won't get any better. His main thing right now is his body is forgetting how to swallow. He can't drink liquid anymore, it just trickles into his lungs before his body figures out how to swallow (and this is what caused us to call 911 a few days ago, he ended up with a bunch of liquid in his lung). Since swallowing is a reflex it means you can't teach someone how to swallow. When he forgets how to swallow he'll have 2-7 days I think, based on what I read (nurse said "couple days"). He's DNR, no feeding tubes, etc, just pain management.
His breathing, when he's asleep, reminds me of my mom's breathing near the end.
His quality of life is not that great. He's not really self-aware, if you will; I'd compare him to a 8 or 10 month old baby, minus the reflexes and learning.
So, yeah, it is what it is.
It's made me think about my end as well. To echo what my dad said to us many years ago, I don't want to be a burden on everyone.
Keep in mind we've been aware that my dad wasn't well for about 12-13 years. It's not a surprise and it's been a long and steady decline.
We're prepared, meaning my dad, because we went through the drill when my mom had cancer (2000-2003). Although we had most of my mom's stuff handled ourselves, my mom was the one that actually paid the medical bills for most of that period (and found thousands of dollars of errors/whatever). I handled her living will, she lived with me for 2 years until my dad finished his stint at his work (to maintain health benefits and qualify for lifetime coverage). I was the one that essentially gave her permission to give up. My mom felt that my dad may not let her go, hence she asked me to handle everything. She was correct about my dad until about 2 weeks to go, when it was painfully apparent that her time was near. My dad then admitted that, yeah, there's only one direction to go at that point. I made all the last calls on my mom - no tube, no IV, called the funeral home, etc.
This time we're all equally empowered. My brother is handling the money, he told me he doesn't want to disrupt the medical side of things (so it's on me now). My other brother and my sister are a bit too far to be super involved, but we bounce ideas off each other (and my other brother has come down to take care of my dad, etc).
My dad's condition won't get any better. His main thing right now is his body is forgetting how to swallow. He can't drink liquid anymore, it just trickles into his lungs before his body figures out how to swallow (and this is what caused us to call 911 a few days ago, he ended up with a bunch of liquid in his lung). Since swallowing is a reflex it means you can't teach someone how to swallow. When he forgets how to swallow he'll have 2-7 days I think, based on what I read (nurse said "couple days"). He's DNR, no feeding tubes, etc, just pain management.
His breathing, when he's asleep, reminds me of my mom's breathing near the end.
His quality of life is not that great. He's not really self-aware, if you will; I'd compare him to a 8 or 10 month old baby, minus the reflexes and learning.
So, yeah, it is what it is.
It's made me think about my end as well. To echo what my dad said to us many years ago, I don't want to be a burden on everyone.
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-15-16, 01:01 PM
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Back from hospital. We had a Transporter staff wheel my dad to the car. Transporters are responsible for pushing beds, wheelchairs, and the like, and who wear purple just like the CDR t-shirts I have, so occasionally patients would ask if I was there to push their relative's bed somewhere. He helped me help my dad out of wheelchair. Note: wheelchair is policy, not necessary, as my dad walks slowly but otherwise pretty well. To be fair it was probably a 5 minute walk, I think we walked across two small blocks. As we were getting my dad in the car...
Transporter: "A real driver."
Me: "What?" (thinking that my dad doesn't drive, so what's he talking about).
Transporter: "Manual. A real driver." (Gesturing at the shifter in the car.)
I also learned that when I push the Jetta Sportswagen on snow tires the rear end gets loose a bit more quickly than the Golf on snow tires, and that it actually maintains attitude (direction) pretty well, meaning it holds its "drift" if you will (car angled one way, going a different way, intentionally). No, my dad wasn't in the car.
Transporter: "A real driver."
Me: "What?" (thinking that my dad doesn't drive, so what's he talking about).
Transporter: "Manual. A real driver." (Gesturing at the shifter in the car.)
I also learned that when I push the Jetta Sportswagen on snow tires the rear end gets loose a bit more quickly than the Golf on snow tires, and that it actually maintains attitude (direction) pretty well, meaning it holds its "drift" if you will (car angled one way, going a different way, intentionally). No, my dad wasn't in the car.
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-15-16, 01:06 PM
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For something uplifting, smiley kind of stuff. I don't want to drag down the thread mood any more. 
Junior was about 1 year, 10 months old here. He's 3 years, 10 months old now.
Junior was about 1 year, 10 months old here. He's 3 years, 10 months old now.
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-15-16, 01:11 PM
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I was going to enjoy the 3-day weekend but now, rain every day.
01-15-16, 01:17 PM
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Also @cdr - I was with both my father and stepfather when they died of cancer. Is hospice not an option in your situation?
It was incredibly difficult to be around for me. Especially after the mental capacity was gone. When the body eventually gave out it was more relief than anything. For me and my family it was weeks/days. It sounds like you've been dealing with this for years. Can't imagine.
It was incredibly difficult to be around for me. Especially after the mental capacity was gone. When the body eventually gave out it was more relief than anything. For me and my family it was weeks/days. It sounds like you've been dealing with this for years. Can't imagine.
01-15-16, 01:21 PM
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Back from hospital. We had a Transporter staff wheel my dad to the car. Transporters are responsible for pushing beds, wheelchairs, and the like, and who wear purple just like the CDR t-shirts I have, so occasionally patients would ask if I was there to push their relative's bed somewhere. He helped me help my dad out of wheelchair. Note: wheelchair is policy, not necessary, as my dad walks slowly but otherwise pretty well. To be fair it was probably a 5 minute walk, I think we walked across two small blocks. As we were getting my dad in the car...
Transporter: "A real driver."
Me: "What?" (thinking that my dad doesn't drive, so what's he talking about).
Transporter: "Manual. A real driver." (Gesturing at the shifter in the car.)
I also learned that when I push the Jetta Sportswagen on snow tires the rear end gets loose a bit more quickly than the Golf on snow tires, and that it actually maintains attitude (direction) pretty well, meaning it holds its "drift" if you will (car angled one way, going a different way, intentionally). No, my dad wasn't in the car.
Transporter: "A real driver."
Me: "What?" (thinking that my dad doesn't drive, so what's he talking about).
Transporter: "Manual. A real driver." (Gesturing at the shifter in the car.)
I also learned that when I push the Jetta Sportswagen on snow tires the rear end gets loose a bit more quickly than the Golf on snow tires, and that it actually maintains attitude (direction) pretty well, meaning it holds its "drift" if you will (car angled one way, going a different way, intentionally). No, my dad wasn't in the car.
01-15-16, 02:10 PM
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I learned how to drive stick shift in brand new cars before they would get delivered to the people who bought them..
01-16-16, 07:52 PM
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Neighbor's kid, at Junior's age…
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-16-16, 11:40 PM
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my daughter has a MB 300SL.. 50's body style.. I would have loved the mod it back when she was using it. Wheels are crap hard plastic.. I can see how donuts would be easy.
01-18-16, 08:40 PM
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Applying for jobs = the worst. But I'm buckling down. Did have a nice lead tonight. Turns out I know someone who knows someone at a place. There are no guarantees in this business, but I'll take any help I can get.
01-19-16, 07:47 AM
Senior Member
Also @cdr Is hospice not an option in your situation?
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-19-16, 08:51 AM
out walking the earth
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01-19-16, 12:16 PM
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All my best to you cdr. Both my parents spent their last days at home, with some help from hospice. The last stages were both mercifully short and went the way my parents wished - no extreme measures, and with family there. Peace to your dad and family.
01-19-16, 12:22 PM
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My MIL spent her last days at our house. It was by far the best thing for Gwen. And us too. Peace and love to your family, CDR.
01-19-16, 05:26 PM
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01-19-16, 05:39 PM
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Thanks guys.
CDR, best to your family. It's good that you want him with you. Sounds like he'll be comfortable and well cared-for to the end.
CDR, best to your family. It's good that you want him with you. Sounds like he'll be comfortable and well cared-for to the end.
01-19-16, 06:04 PM
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Okay, so I bought a new double-edge razor like I used when I started shaving lo, these many years ago. I was curious what it would be like compared to the Schick Quattro I've been using the last several years...plus I heard they're better for legs than other styles. Using the enclosed blades, it sucks. What's a good quality double-edge blade?
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Regards,
Chuck
Demain, on roule!
Regards,
Chuck
Demain, on roule!
01-19-16, 07:16 PM
Senior Member
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
01-19-16, 07:25 PM
Senior Member
Honestly that's one part of taking care of my dad that I don't look forward to.
Networking is good. I got two jobs I think primarily because some people knew me. I did a good job in both those places but I don't know if I'd have gotten a chance had I not known people. This is especially true of the first place, one of a bazillion IT companies in NYC, and me coming from a bike shop.
__________________
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson
"...during the Lance years, being fit became the No. 1 thing. Totally the only thing. It’s a big part of what we do, but fitness is not the only thing. There’s skills, there’s tactics … there’s all kinds of stuff..." Tim Johnson