Give me a one line response.
03-18-08, 01:06 PM
#1
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Give me a one line response.
New guy at work walks into my cube: "There's a bike in your cubicle."
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: "Are you homeless?"
Me:
Give me a one line response.
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: "Are you homeless?"
Me:
Give me a one line response.
03-18-08, 01:10 PM
#3
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No, I have this cubicle
Are you brainless?
No - I keep it at home when I'm there
Bike? Oh, it just followed me in from the streets
If I didn't have my bike, there'd be no room in the cubicle for my ass
I'm training for the Tour de WhatTheHellisYourProblem
I can do more if you like.....
Are you brainless?
No - I keep it at home when I'm there
Bike? Oh, it just followed me in from the streets
If I didn't have my bike, there'd be no room in the cubicle for my ass
I'm training for the Tour de WhatTheHellisYourProblem
I can do more if you like.....
03-18-08, 01:10 PM
#4
ride for a change
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"no I'm carless"
- ok it's not funny, but anyone asking that question really has his head up his a**, and doesn't deserve much more than that.
- ok it's not funny, but anyone asking that question really has his head up his a**, and doesn't deserve much more than that.
03-18-08, 01:16 PM
#5
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(make hand motion of giving him a sign)-(Bill Engval-Here's your sign jokes)
03-18-08, 01:17 PM
#6
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03-18-08, 01:18 PM
#7
aka: Mike J.
New guy: "There's a bike in your cubicle."
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: "Are you homeless?"
Me:
Me: "Yeah."
Guy: "Are you homeless?"
Me:
or
"you'll have one soon enough in your cube too" then just walk away smirking with a quiet laugh
or
"if there's a duck in the park it doesn't mean I'm hungry"
or
"nope"
or
"supercalifragilisticexpealidocious"
or
"one plus one does not equal three"
or
"the Peter Principal is alive and well here"
or
"yes, yes I am homeless,(and go into a 14 minute dialog here making stuff up as you go along)"
or
"no, I've got a house down on (pick some super expensive address near work) that I've paid for with the money I've saved over the years by using that bike"
or
"I guess you didn't get the memo, eh?"
03-18-08, 01:21 PM
#9
ride for a change
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Then there is Steve Sweeney approach.
Walk up a little too close to the guy stare him in the eye say in a very fast in a slightly demented voice.
"I tell you one thing Bubba, a guy came down here the other day and tried to tell me a Thunderbird and A T-bird are the same GD car........My wife left me in 1964 I left her in 1956...... Ice cream don't have bones.....Don't you talk to Me about newlyweds.....(finish by wagging your finger in his face)
Sit back own at your desk, and ignore him.
He will leave you alone after that.
Walk up a little too close to the guy stare him in the eye say in a very fast in a slightly demented voice.
"I tell you one thing Bubba, a guy came down here the other day and tried to tell me a Thunderbird and A T-bird are the same GD car........My wife left me in 1964 I left her in 1956...... Ice cream don't have bones.....Don't you talk to Me about newlyweds.....(finish by wagging your finger in his face)
Sit back own at your desk, and ignore him.
He will leave you alone after that.
03-18-08, 01:24 PM
#11
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How about you say:
"Are you stupid?"
If he gets offended just say you are simply asking a question too.
"Are you stupid?"
If he gets offended just say you are simply asking a question too.
03-18-08, 01:28 PM
#13
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Nice suit. Does it come in your size?
03-18-08, 01:29 PM
#14
always rides with luggage
"We hired you?"
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--Ben
2006 Trek SU100, 2009 Motobecane Fantom CX, 2011 Motobecane Fantom Cross Uno, and a Bakfiets
Previously: 2000 Trek 4500 (2000-2003), 2003 Novara Randonee (2003-2006), 2003 Giant Rainier (2003-2008), 2005 Xootr Swift (2005-2007), 2007 Nashbar 1x9 (2007-2011), 2011 Windsor Shetland (2011-2014), 2008 Citizen Folder (2015)
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03-18-08, 01:30 PM
#15
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"All your base are belong to us!!"
"Home is where the heart is."
"Probably."
Just grunt and kick him in the shin, really hard.
"Only when the trash guys steal my refrigerator box"
"No, but I play one on TV"
"Home is where the heart is."
"Probably."
Just grunt and kick him in the shin, really hard.
"Only when the trash guys steal my refrigerator box"
"No, but I play one on TV"
03-18-08, 01:33 PM
#16
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Sammyboy has it right, by far.
"If I didn't have my bike, there'd be no room in the cubicle for my ass" might be a little too sophisticated of a joke for Guy to get it in a timely manner, but I have a great visual of an exaggerated delivery of "training for the Tour de WHATTHEHELLISYOURPROBLEM?!"
That one is a winner.
"If I didn't have my bike, there'd be no room in the cubicle for my ass" might be a little too sophisticated of a joke for Guy to get it in a timely manner, but I have a great visual of an exaggerated delivery of "training for the Tour de WHATTHEHELLISYOURPROBLEM?!"
That one is a winner.
03-18-08, 01:34 PM
#17
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"Define 'home'."
03-18-08, 01:38 PM
#19
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"No, but you can sleep in my cubicle when I go home if you need a place to stay"
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The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!
The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!
03-18-08, 01:41 PM
#20
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i think you should just stand up and smack him on the forehead.
what a complete dumbass. do you have to work with this guy on a daily basis? who says such a stupid thing??
what a complete dumbass. do you have to work with this guy on a daily basis? who says such a stupid thing??
03-18-08, 01:54 PM
#23
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shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
shameless POWERCRANK plug
Recommended reading for all cyclists - Cyclecraft - Effective Cycling
Condor Cycles - quite possibly the best bike shop in London
Don't run red lights, wear a helmet, use hand signals, get some cycle lights(front and rear) and, FFS, don't run red lights!
03-18-08, 01:54 PM
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