Post your cycling humor here. I'll start....
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 1,932
Bikes: to many to list
Liked 1,218 Times
in
286 Posts
Post your cycling humor here. I'll start....
Truth!
John
John
__________________
From Illinois. Collector of many fine bicycles from all over the world. Subscribe to my Youtube channel. Just search John's vintage road bike garage
From Illinois. Collector of many fine bicycles from all over the world. Subscribe to my Youtube channel. Just search John's vintage road bike garage
Likes For jjhabbs:
#2
Bianchi Goddess
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Shady Pines Retirement Fort Wayne, In
Posts: 28,119
Bikes: Too many to list here check my signature.
Liked 3,263 Times
in
1,645 Posts
This is from VeloNews way back in the late '80s or early '90s
__________________
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
Last edited by Bianchigirll; 01-22-24 at 01:25 PM.
Likes For Bianchi84:
#4
Senior Member
BennY Hill ShoW - Sport NewS If you haven't already seen it , or even if you have!
Likes For Kabuki12:
#5
Likes For Steel Charlie:
#6
Senior Member
It had been a quiet night at the local bar so far, but then the door was thrown open and an Interstate highway strode in.
“I’m an Interstate highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m afraid of no highway and no road.”
He then strode up to the bar, ordered a beer, and began drinking it, while looking around.
A short time later, a four-lane highway came in, went to the end of the bar, and ordered a beer.
The Interstate looked him over and walked over to him. “I’m an Interstate highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m not afraid of you.”
The four-lane highway said, “I agree that you’re the best. I don’t want any trouble with you. Let me buy you a beer,” and he did. They drank their beers and discussed their engineering specifications.
After a half hour, the door opened again and a two-lane road came in, went to the other end of the bar, and ordered a beer.
The Interstate looked him over and told the four-lane highway that he had to take care of the new arrival. He walked over to the two-lane road and said, “I’m an Interstate highway. I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m not afraid of you.”
The two-lane road quivered a bit and said, “You’re absolutely right. You are the best of the highways. I’m just a lowly two-lane road. I don’t want any trouble. Can I buy beers for you and the four-lane highway?”
The Interstate motioned the four-lane highway to come over, the two-lane road bought beers for each of them, and the three of them drank their beers and discussed the merits of various paving materials.
After another half hour, the door opened again and a strip of asphalt about eight feet wide came in. The Interstate highway ducked behind the bar and hid there quivering quietly.
The bartender was shocked.
After serving the asphalt strip, he walked over to where the Interstate was hiding. “I watched you stand up to the four-lane highway and the two-lane road. You said you weren’t afraid of any highway or road. Why are you hiding from that little asphalt strip?”
The Interstate replied quietly, “It’s true that I’m not afraid of any highway or road, but he’s a cycle path.”
“I’m an Interstate highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m afraid of no highway and no road.”
He then strode up to the bar, ordered a beer, and began drinking it, while looking around.
A short time later, a four-lane highway came in, went to the end of the bar, and ordered a beer.
The Interstate looked him over and walked over to him. “I’m an Interstate highway,” he declared. “I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m not afraid of you.”
The four-lane highway said, “I agree that you’re the best. I don’t want any trouble with you. Let me buy you a beer,” and he did. They drank their beers and discussed their engineering specifications.
After a half hour, the door opened again and a two-lane road came in, went to the other end of the bar, and ordered a beer.
The Interstate looked him over and told the four-lane highway that he had to take care of the new arrival. He walked over to the two-lane road and said, “I’m an Interstate highway. I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I’m the best of the highways, and I’m not afraid of you.”
The two-lane road quivered a bit and said, “You’re absolutely right. You are the best of the highways. I’m just a lowly two-lane road. I don’t want any trouble. Can I buy beers for you and the four-lane highway?”
The Interstate motioned the four-lane highway to come over, the two-lane road bought beers for each of them, and the three of them drank their beers and discussed the merits of various paving materials.
After another half hour, the door opened again and a strip of asphalt about eight feet wide came in. The Interstate highway ducked behind the bar and hid there quivering quietly.
The bartender was shocked.
After serving the asphalt strip, he walked over to where the Interstate was hiding. “I watched you stand up to the four-lane highway and the two-lane road. You said you weren’t afraid of any highway or road. Why are you hiding from that little asphalt strip?”
The Interstate replied quietly, “It’s true that I’m not afraid of any highway or road, but he’s a cycle path.”
__________________
Be where your feet are.......Lisa Bluder
Be where your feet are.......Lisa Bluder
Likes For r0ckh0und:
#7
Senior Member
There must be dozens of Frazz comics dealing with cycling culture. Here's just one of the ones that I've saved over the years.
Steve in Peoria
Steve in Peoria
Likes For steelbikeguy:
#8
Full Member
Join Date: May 2023
Location: Big Sur California
Posts: 234
Bikes: 1946 Holdsworth Cyclone, 1969 Cinelli SC, 1972 Raleigh Pro, 1973 Merz road bike, 1974 Alex Singer Sportif, 1974 Merz track bike, 1975 Teledyne Titan, 1976 Ritchey road bike, 1977 DiNucci built Merz track bike, 1977 (?) Exxon Graftek, many more!
Liked 1,498 Times
in
186 Posts
Lot's of funny stuff on this link!
https://kba.tripod.com/quotes.htm
An example:
The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.
--- Ann Strong, Minneapolis Tribune, 1895
Jim Merz
An example:
The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.
--- Ann Strong, Minneapolis Tribune, 1895
Jim Merz
Likes For Portlandjim:
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,920
Bikes: Cuevas Custom, Cimmaron, 1988 "Pinalized Rockma", 1984 Trek 510, Moulton custom touring, Raleigh Competition GS, Bridgestone Mb-2 & 3, 1980's Peugeot - US, City, & Canyon Express (6)
Liked 4,841 Times
in
2,265 Posts
The bicycle riddle
The strangest part of the deal.
Just keep your accounts
And add the amounts
The 'sundries' cost more than the wheel.
-- Anonymous 1896 poem
Likes For SoCaled:
Likes For 1simplexnut:
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Whittier
Posts: 931
Bikes: 1973 Colnago Super, Litespeed Classic , Automoto , Pinarello Gavia TSX,Eddy Merckx Corsa Extra,Eddy Merckx EMX-5 , 1982 Moser SL, Concorde TSX, Vitus 979 KAS. Diamant SLX,60's Meteor
Liked 1,080 Times
in
372 Posts
Dave-- "My Dog is making me very nervous , Everyday he chases Everyone on a bicycle."
Friend-- "What are you going to do , take him to the dog pound?"
Dave -- "No, Im just going to have to lock up my bicycles"
Friend-- "What are you going to do , take him to the dog pound?"
Dave -- "No, Im just going to have to lock up my bicycles"
Likes For Manny66:
Likes For gearbasher:
Likes For gearbasher:
Likes For bfuser10291295:
#15
Mother Nature's Son
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Sussex County, Delaware
Posts: 3,202
Bikes: 2014 Orbea Avant MD30, 2004 Airborne Zeppelin TI, 2003 Lemond Poprad, 2001 Lemond Tourmalet, 2014? Soma Smoothie
Liked 1,556 Times
in
862 Posts
I have to say, gearbasher got my biggest laugh. Sounds like he, or she, was raised in the same theological teaching that I was educated with for a number of years.
#16
blahblahblah chrome moly
Likes For bulgie:
#17
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,920
Bikes: Cuevas Custom, Cimmaron, 1988 "Pinalized Rockma", 1984 Trek 510, Moulton custom touring, Raleigh Competition GS, Bridgestone Mb-2 & 3, 1980's Peugeot - US, City, & Canyon Express (6)
Liked 4,841 Times
in
2,265 Posts
#18
Senior Member
I forgot all about the Far Side!!
Here's one that I clipped a long time ago...
... I'd watch that!
Steve in Peoria
Here's one that I clipped a long time ago...
... I'd watch that!
Steve in Peoria
Likes For steelbikeguy:
Likes For smontanaro:
Likes For smontanaro:
#21
Senior Member
Likes For polymorphself:
#22
Groupetto Dragon-Ass
Likes For Chuckk:
#23
Full Member
Likes For bear_a_bug:
#24
Senior Member
Q: How many advocacy extremists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's not funny.
A: It's not funny.
Likes For madpogue:
#25
Bianchi Goddess
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Shady Pines Retirement Fort Wayne, In
Posts: 28,119
Bikes: Too many to list here check my signature.
Liked 3,263 Times
in
1,645 Posts
__________________
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
Likes For Bianchigirll: