closetbiker

By SANDRA PARSONS



Yesterday morning I drove my nine-year-old son to school. It's a journey of less than two miles, but it involves some extremely busy roads and I wouldn't dream of letting him do it alone.

This, despite the fact that when I was his age I was regularly travelling alone all over a major European city (Cologne, where my father worked at the time) without anyone ever seeming to worry.

Most of us have similar memories of travelling around unsupervised when we were children, and this seems to have been a major factor in the decision made by Oliver and Gillian Schonrock to allow their daughter, who is eight, and their son, five, to cycle unaccompanied to their school in Dulwich, South-east London.

'We wanted to recreate the simple freedom of our childhood,' says Mr Schonrock.
'We are trying to let them enjoy their lives and teach them a little bit about the risks of life.'
It's a noble principle, yet the family have provoked intense controversy, not least from their children's school.

The head teacher has denied reports that he had told the Schonrocks he would refer them to social services unless they supervised the journey, but says the school would have been failing in its safeguarding duty if it had not raised concerns.

For their part, the parents have now won the backing of David Cameron, together with London's Mayor Boris Johnson, who has described them as heroes.
All children are different and it may be that the Schonrocks' are exceptionally mature and confident.

Nevertheless, I couldn't find a single mother outside my son's school gates yesterday who agreed with what they are doing. They felt that not only was five was far too young to be cycling through London unaccompanied, but also that it was wrong to make any eight-year-old responsible for a five-year-old's safety.

Or, as my own son put it: 'You know, Mummy, even cycling on the pavement you can go into the road by mistake.'

When he said this I had a sudden horrific memory of the day last year when, walking behind him as he cycled ahead of me on the pavement, I saw him swerve to avoid a group of people coming towards him - straight off the kerb into the main road, where a car narrowly missed him.
And yet, balanced against this, every parent I spoke to yesterday had sympathy with the principle of what the Schonrocks are trying to achieve, which is to give our children more independence.

For how can we expect our children to be streetwise enough to deal with any kind of risk if we don't allow them out on their own?

One friend and her husband came up with the idea of giving their daughters a 'mission' - could they get from point A to point B safely and without getting lost?

They proudly accomplished it, unaware that their parents were following them the whole time. There is, though, the danger that amid all this worry about the roads, we forget the myriad other ways in which we should be teaching our children to be independent.

A few years ago I cut out and stuck on our fridge a list compiled by a child psychologist of what children should do when, which included the following: four to five-year-olds should be able to dress themselves, pick up their clothes and help to clear and lay the table; by the ages of eight to nine, they should be able to make a simple meal or snack, for example some pasta, including putting everything away afterwards.

Looking at it again yesterday I realised that while I now had every confidence in our son making his way with a friend to the park, I had absolutely none in his ability to make pasta.

So for the next year or two I will continue to take him to school - which, apart from any safety issues, is for both of us a rather special and enjoyable daily routine. And at the weekend, if I'm feeling really brave, I'm going to ask him to cook us dinner.

RazrSkutr

OK, she doesn't trust her son to travel on his own, fair enough, but why does she have to drive him?

If she can't get up early enough to squeeze the extra 10 minutes into her morning commute (by bicycle and/or public transport naturally) then can't she organize a group ride supervised by a couple of the other concerned parents?

This is all just I-Have-To-Drive-My-Car-Everywhere whinging.

genec

Exactly... even a 4 mile walk would only take an hour. And doing it twice a day would alleviate the need to ever go to a gym.

I find it quite amazing that people have such a hard time walking just a mile or two.

But as to the overall story... indeed it is a shame that kids in some locations cannot ride bikes to school... due to the safety concerns expressed by both parents and the school administrators... safety concerns largely brought upon due to the heavy traffic of parents driving kids to school. Ironic isn't it.

BTW I just checked, and I used to ride my bike 1.18 miles to school, when I was 9. When I was younger, I lived closer to the school... and walked the two blocks.... yes... in the snow... in Chicago.

My son also walked his 4 blocks to elementary school... but later refused to ride a bike... he preferred to skateboard. "Bikes aren't cool, dad."

nancyj

And then there are the distracted drivers driving their kids to school. My SIL (a teacher-on a small motorbike) was laid out on the hood of someone's car on the way to work. Distracted mom on cell phone ran stop light.

I certainly remember rding my bike every day to both Junior High and High School. We had a huge bike parking lot too because tons of kids rode. Either you rode a bike, walked, or rode the bus.

closetbiker

at some point, parents have to let go and the kids have to be prepared for it.

It seems, over the last 10 or 20 years, parents are more reluctant to let go and haven't prepared the kids for it.

San Rensho 

Five years old does seem a bit young to ride a bicycle in an urban area even with some supervision. I grew up in rural Wisconsin, in a town with 12,000 inhabitants and I really didn't start to ride wherever I wanted until I was in second or third grade. Then, all the kids my age would ride all over town all day.

But there's a big difference between an urban and rural setting.

genec

5 seems a bit young to me too... but overall the point is that far too many kids are chauffeured these days.

closetbiker

what about a 9 year old, going less than 2 miles, in an area in which he/she is completely familiar?

68venable

10 years old and with other kids I think is OK. Depending on job hours I would definately ride with my kid until middle school or whenever I wouldnt be cool to ride with around peers.

SCROUDS

You know, in other parts of the world, by 5 a kid will be using a machete to open coconuts. We coddle our children like no other place on earth then wonder why our society is so messed up.

Booger1

Must shelter kids from the world so they can grow up normal**********??

68venable

Who is saying our society is messed up? Would it be better if 5 year old kids rode bicycles to work at the factory while cutting open coconuts with machetes?

mikeybikes

It is messed up. 5 year olds should be able to drive SUVs to the factory while cutting open coconuts with machetes.

68venable

You could fill up the SUV with 6 - 5year olds all cutting open coconuts with machetes, take a pic, slap it on a flag, call this the new world and we could all talk about how normal things are now because are children are working so hard.

Booger1

You can take the cell phone(babysitter),calculator(crutch) and computer (modern day boob tube) from them while your at it.

Let them join the real world every once in a while.You know things are bad when you have to have a PSA to show kids how to play outside.

I get sick just thinking of this,kids have to look on the computer to learn how to play outside,we're doomed.

Seattle Forrest

A girl at Starbucks told me about how she'd spent a month or two ( I can't remember ) training for a 5 K walk.

prathmann

I liked the London Mayor's comment about the family:
'They have taken the sword of common sense to the great bloated encephalopathic sacred cow of safety and for this effrontery they are, of course, being persecuted by the authorities.'

canopus 

Kindergarden, rode the bus to school (bused about 9 miles away)
1st and 3rd - walked (by myself but with other kids in neighborhood), I was only driven on the first day of school or when I was sick and could talk my parents into taking me.
4th through 5th - walked, rode bike to school
6th - bussed to school (8 miles away)
7th - 9th - rode the bike, across a 7 lane busy commercial street to school (about 5 miles away)
10th - 11th bussed, caught a ride with upper classmen, rode the bike (8 miles away), drove
12th - walked, rode the bike, drove (when the blazer actually worked )

I was termed a "Latch Key Child" back then.

Astrakan

I can pretty much just echo what others have already said. Today's parents are much too over protective. I sincerely doubt that the world is that much more dangerous than when I was a kid. I just checked the distance via Google maps, and at 6 I walked 1 kilometer (0.6 miles) to school, at 7 that increased to 2 km (1.25 miles), and at 9 I started biking those 2 km instead of walking.

All of it was unsupervised and involved crossing streets, and I wasn't exactly an exception. It was considered the norm, and I really have no idea why it isn't anymore. I'm 33, so it's pretty much my generation that for some freaky reason decided that what was perfectly safe and OK for them as kids, is no longer safe and OK for their kids.

Oh, and my town had about 60,000 people in it. Not exactly metropolitan, but not countryside rural either.

crhilton

I wish my parents had done that. I might be able to cook now... Bravo.

crhilton

Wow, that's funny. I remember once my wife and I accidentally went for a 6 mile walk. Man that was a killer on the shins. Not sure how we managed to talk ourselves into it, I think it involved ice cream somewhere.

genec

Just think of the labor cost savings.... oops... instead we pay Bigmart to send money overseas so we don't have to see the 5 year old kids cutting open coconuts with machetes... and stitching together our designer clothing, and painting little bicycles with lead based paint, so our kids can leave them in the driveway.

bhop

Weird.. I walk 5-10 miles some days just walking around the city with my camera.

Keith99

In my part of suburbia there can be a huge difference between the East and West side of the school. I'm thinking of a real school, the Elementry School I attended through the 5th grade. It is in a fairly quiet neighborhood. But the street on the North side is the 'main' street for this entirely residential area. It also turns out that if traffic is heavy then the street on the West along with that on the North are part of the back streets bypass of congestion. (Can't call it shortcut, by distance it is longer).

If I were South East of the school I'd be fine with with a kid biking to school. But if I was North, meaning the kid had to take that street to the North of the School I'd feel entirely differently. If East of the school I'd be somewhere inbetween and likely would devote a few days to checking.

Also for many of the less sefe approaches there are alternate routes, but longer (though not much longer). If I lived in those areas the decision would also involve knowing my (fictional) kid. Some can be trusted to take the safe, but longer, route. Some can not.

Oh and as kids get farther away from the school there are more issues. The closest appartments are on a freeway frontage road. It gets lots of traffic and during rush hour that includes cars pulling out and rushing to work. The kind of road I'd be less comfortable on, not where I'd want my kid especcially in teh morning when he also might not be fully awake and in a rush.

EDIT:

At least for this school the world has changed a lot in 20 or 30 years. Same roads, but many more cars, no tthe least of which are cars taking the kids to school. It could well be most of the neighborhood is fine for kids riding , most of the time, but perhaps not near when school starts or lets out.

DX-MAN

So, the world isn't more dangerous now than 30-40 years ago? Let's see -- the population of the US has almost doubled since I was in school; educational standards have PLUMMETED off a cliff in that time. Illiteracy has exploded among our high school graduates, and UNLIKE what many people think, racism has NOT subsided in recent years. (In common conversation, hearing "white boy" and "black man" is almost ubiquitous. The "N" word will get a white person beat half to death, but "cracka" is almost as common as "bi+ch".)

More and more people, of less and less intelligence, is a recipe for more and more poverty and wholesale oppression. With less intellect, there is less intellectual restraint -- baser instincts become less controlled. Add in the constant generational push to exceed the limits (cultural mores') of the generation before it, and what is acceptable becomes a longer list.

Kids don't appear on milk cartons anymore, partially because it's tougher to put their pics on plastic jugs, and partly because there's a LOT more kids going missing.

I WILL DO what it takes to keep my kids out of that category -- because I don't need to go to prison for butchering any person who may harm them. (And I DO mean 'butcher'....)