Urymoto

Hi all,

Proud father of a 7 week old devil. And utterly obsessed cyclist.. I find myself having a lot of trouble. It's winter here so training is only on the turbo, if at all possible(Zwift). I do everything I can to help my wife, from holding the kid every moment I'm at home so that she could sleep, putting him to sleep every night, etc etc. On weekends he's 100% mine so that my wife can catch up on sleep.
Anyway it's quite hard to train, but when I do manage I feel like my wife thinks it's pure play time, when in fact I need it to keep my sanity...
How did you guys train with the addition of a new one. Any advice? Did any of you just stop?

rms13

Your story sounds exactly like mine. I also take the baby most of the time I'm home and weekend and my wife thinks being on the bike is play time...she also thinks my 40+ hours a week at work are a "break" for me

But the answer for me is my kid is now 7 months and I ride a lot less. I was only riding 3 days a week on average before and now it's usually one day on Sunday morning. I used to be able to wake up early and ride before work but now I still get up at 5 or 6am but I have to help with the baby so I can't take off on the bike. And now after 7 months of messed up sleep schedule I find myself turning down some chances to get an extra ride in because I'm tired. I don't have a trainer and I'm not interested because I'm not training for anything so if I can't be out on the bike I'm not interested. But I figure it's temporary and eventually I'll be able to get back into a groove

Urymoto

Ya. Almost 50 hours a week here.

jsigone

sounds like she is still breast feeding and drained from it. By the time the snow thaws, she should be better and baby should start sleeping more through the night. Keep baby on a schedule and play with him at night as they get older to wear them down and sleep longer. Eventually those mid night, 2am, 4am bottles will turn to 2am, 5am. Everyone sleeps then win win. I have a 7mo old, and 3yr old. Both started sleeping though the night by 3 mo, 9pm to 4-5am.

Slowly add more outdoor bike time, if on the trainer, use it few times a day while he sleeps. The sound may sooth him pending what trainer you have. Women should know that guys need an outlet of some sort plus other hobbies. Offer to let her go out to the gym or w/ friends while you have kiddo. Keep things balanced a bit and she might be happy about you riding your bike all saturday morning.

good luck and don't quit your bike

silversx80

I have a 2 year old, but remember the newborn moments well. Another one here who's wife thinks going to work is "me" time. I train on the Kickr mostly, first thing in the morning. That would of have been impossible with a 7 week old though. Instead, I snuck in time during naps. Sometimes I'd only get in 30 minutes, but it's better than nothing.

Aubergine 

Look for resources on Family Biking and take the Devil with you on your rides! In Seattle we have a strong community of family bikers, and there is a ton of support for dads and moms who ride with their little ones.

You may not be "training" if you ride with your child, but you will be riding. And the kids like it!

Urymoto

Thanks all, feel a little less insane.

TimothyH

Put your child first. Everything else comes after that.

Cycling is "you" time and you don't need cycling to keep your sanity. It's just a hobby, not a way of life.

No obsession is healthy.

Not what people want to hear but it is what it is. Shouldn't have gotten married and children if you were not ready to put others before yourself.

woodcraft

Newborn/infant time goes by in a flash, to be replaced by the next phase.

Eventually they grow up, & you can get back in shape.

Leinster

Yes, put your child first.

No, taking some time for yourself is not being selfish. You're not much good to your child if you're getting fat and miserable all the time because you can't ride.

My twins are coming up on 6 months, and of course I'm riding less, as should every father who isn't paid to ride a bike. They were 3 ,onths old before I even got on a bike once. I've been getting out with the running club as well because they stay closer to home than the cyclists.

It helps to communicate with the missus about when and how long you're going to be taking some me-time. But you are definitely entitled to some me-time (just not as much as before).

dougphoto

I had my first 12 years ago, I took a break from the bike. When they get big enough that they can safely ride in a trailer like a burley start riding that way, it's big fun for them. When you get to take the burley off and ride without it you will feel so amazingly fast.

Doge

We had a tandem. I married my tandem partner and honeymooned doing a 5 day tandem stage race (Burley Duet) so it was natural to get a trailer. I took a car seat, fixed it in the trailer and put the kid in - with helmet. Then we road. Actually we road a lot because this would put the kids to sleep. We did this for both kids who were 4 years apart. Later I got one of those trailer pedal bikes for older girl - age 5 and then son age 1 was in the trailer. That didn't work so well as girl was not into long rides. But it looked cute.

Urymoto

Thanks Timothy for the patronizing child first post. Now I'll stop training 20 hours a week and finally pay attention to him. Also thought marriage and children was like having a pet goldfish. Jesus.

EthanHawley

First of all, congratulations on your 7 week old devil! I wouldn't be too hard on TimothyH. I think his basic point is a reasonable one - that things change when you have children and that sacrifices need to be made. I have three young kiddos and a wife who works extremely long hours. Consequently, I have been forced to cycle very early in the morning before my wife leaves for work or after she gets home. I also have spent more time exercising at home than I did before, so I can exercise and watch the kids when my wife is not at home or is resting. It's not nearly as fun as riding outside, of course, but it gives me a chance to do some cross-training and it's not that boring since I can catch up on my TV shows while doing it. The bottom line is that it doesn't have to be a zero-sum proposition or even close to it. It just may be harder to ride when you want and as often as you want.

JohnDThompson 

First priority is the baby. Second priority is your spouse. Riding comes after that.

big chainring 

Put your cycling on hold until oh, 2026. And then maybe you might squeeze in a couple hours one day a week. But if their are to be more little ones, extend that time frame out 2 years for every additional child.

Doge

You will find if you do it right living vicariously through your kids can become more fun than anything you achieve personally. Invest in a camera and take lots of video.

JohnJ80

^this.

If you're not healthy, you're no good to your kids. You need to work this out with your SO to make sure you both are on the same page on this.

Shortly, you will be able to put them in a car seat and in the Burley trailer. That's also good exercise and good together time.

But, either way, life as you have known it is now over. However, having kids teaches excellent time management skills.

I can tell you there is a special joy when you get one off the payroll post college. Oh, and then you will have lots of time (and money) for cycling. I spent a lot of time with my kids as they were growing up and I wish I had spent more.

J.

TimothyH

Running club is an excellent idea. I took up trail running for a while until my situation changed and I could start riding again. Many of those runs were before sunrise with a Petzl headlamp.

Doge

Try a trailer with a single and give your wife a devil break. Just get a trailer. You can likely keep up dangling off the back with a group ride. If I'm wrong you are out $300.

Vicegrip

7 week old is EASY. They sleep lots, eat easy to make or warm up fluid and they stay put where you set them. Try 17 months for ease of care. They are mobile, stunningly stupid by any standard and stay awake. Leave a 17 month alone while you go take a leak and they will eat 2 handfuls of dog food and then find some small metal thing to cram into an outlet.

Get your bike set up on the trainer, bibs or shorts ready and then take care of the kiddo. Enjoy the time with the awake baby. When he/she takes on the Milk Buzz and then passes out all warm and fuzzy hit the trainer until he/she awakes. Hit it hard and do not dither around with anything but cranking those pedals. Clean house and baby stuff when kid is up and gurgle-bubble happy in the carrier/ bouncy thingy you have.

Repeat as needed. Pre moble and post 7 year old is the best. 1 year to 6 year or so is hard work. Post 7 years old but before 14 or so is the best. They like you. they love you, say and show it.

2manybikes

Priorities

1) kid and wife

2) everything else

JohnJ80

Get bike lights. You can ride before or after dark (after bedtime or before they was up) with good ones too. I do it for months at a time in the spring and fall.

Once they are old enough to hold their head up as infants (talk to Dr), get them a helmet. Take them for a ride on the trailer. Especially good at nap time, they fall right asleep. Our kids spent many happy hours in the Burley on bike rides. That was happy for parents and for kids.

J.

K.Katso

We set up a sort of trade system. I get my bike time, she gets her time with her friends or other personal things. We don't keep track of exact hours or anything like that, but we take turns having our time off. Even if it's a 1-hour ride for me followed by 1-hour of reading for her. Sometimes I go while the little one is napping and I'm back before he wakes up. She reads with the baby monitor on the nightstand, so we both get an hour or so off. I can manage to get in 6-8 hours of riding per week like this. Longer rides I usually arrange in advance, and she usually takes an evening out with her friends in exchange. Somehow it works out.

indyfabz

You train very slowly, until he's in better shape than you and dropes the hamer on you.