perspiration

Hello,

I'm planning a 6 months cross country tour starting April 2014. Portland, ME to Portland, OR. I expect, based on journals I've read and the kind of person I am, to get a lot of offers for alcoholic drinks along the way. Unfortunately, I had to quit drinking (it was a problem) and I'll have to turn down all this hospitality as I ride. I'm worried about coming across as rude to people, or having them be persistent in offering, thinking I'm only being polite. I'm only 23, however, so most people see me and expect me to be a party-goin' kind of dude.

Am I just turning this into a problem in my head? One of the parts of touring I look forward to the most is getting to know people, and I don't want my first impression to be that I'm rude, or worse, I don't want to have to explain my reasons for sobriety to every person I meet.

Is anyone else a sober tourer? Do you have a go-to phrase that keeps people from prying, or lets them accept that you won't take their drink? I especially worry about this if I tour overseas where the language barrier will become an issue.

NCbiker

What's wrong with just saying "thanks, but I don't drink" ? I don't find that at all rude.

jimblairo

I've been sober over 25 years and it has very seldom turned out to be a problem. When someone presses me to drink I usually said "sorry but I have to be home in time for Christmas."

thirdgenbird

27 and sober here.

I wouldn't worry about it. If you politely and confidently tell people that you don't drink they often accept it and readily offer something else.

zonatandem

Have ridden/toured in 30+ states.
Nobody's ever offered to buy me alcoholic drinks, but then I did not go into any bars either.
You are over-thinking a problem that may not exist.
Enjoy your tour!

stevepusser

+1

I've been on the Pacific Coast Route at hike-bike sites when someone has pulled out a nice bottle of wine and offered to share a few glasses. Some in the group did turn down the offer, no big fuss. I haven't seen anything like "When Big Earl drinks, everyone drinks...or else."

(cue Pee-Wee Herman biker bar scene)

Western Flyer 

I've been offered hot oat meal more times than beer or wine. I've even been offered pot more times than alcohol. On the rare occasion I have any wine and there is a fellow cyclist in camp I will offer a glass but never push it.

For the record I seldom refuse the oatmeal and have never accepted the pot and will occasionally accept a glass of wine or beer when offered. I have never had anyone push alcohol on me.

rodar y rodar

I wouldn`t expect that to be a problem. Like you, I quit drinking in order to keep myself out of trouble. While I don`t take long tours and don`t engage with a lot of other people while I am out, I`ve been politely refusing drinks since 1996 with no issues. At the first offer, I just say "No thanks". If I get a few more offers on the same occasion, I normally tell the offer-er that I don`t drink. On the very rare occasion (like twice over the years that I can remember) that somebody persists, I just go elsewhere. Chances are that isn`t going to be in a place where I really want to be anyway.

jamawani 

Depends on where you are.
In Russia it would be an insult to turn down a drink from a host - -
But Russia has one of the worst alcohol problems in the world and and the developed world's shortest expected lifespan.
Even in France, a drink offered in friendship might seem a little rude to turn down. But a "Non, merci." should suffice.

In the U.S. there should be no problem - especially if you choose your companions prudently.
I started my sober journey many years ago with a bike trip.
Back then you had to carry AA meeting books to find meetings.
Now, you can find meetings everywhere on line.
Hitting meetings in small towns across the country is a great way to strengthen your sobriety.

Prior to getting sober, I used to seek out the wildest people - and usually found them.
The same applies to seeking out sober people - you can usually find them.
Nobody is going to tie you down and pour booze down your throat.
The only person who might do it is - - - you.
That is your choice.

Machka 

1. Don't go into bars and pubs.


I didn't have my first alcholic drink until I was nearly 30 years old ... and even since then, I rarely drink. I've had maybe 6 drinks in the past year. It's quite natural for me to say something along the lines of "No thank you, but I will have a diet coke."

And actually, if someone says, "What would you like to drink", alcohol doesn't enter my mind at first ... water, soft drinks, fruit juice, coffee, and tea occur to me first.

krobinson103

In South Korea drinking is an important part of an social event. In my entire 40 years of lfe I gotten drunk once. I hated the feeling and for the last 22 years haven't touched alchol. It upsets some, but drinking is mot compulsorary. My Father in law used to be upset when I refused to drink with him, but he had to get used to it. My wife usedto drink a little but these days living together we are alchol free. Jyst say no and don't worry about it.

contango 

I have friends who never drink and people don't give them a hard time over it, if we're out with them they choose soft drinks. They quite happily come to the bar with the rest of us, they just don't drink alcohol while they are there.

Ultimately you don't have to give anyone a reason - your decision to avoid alcohol for whatever reason is yours and yours alone to make and you don't have to justify it to anyone. It's not like you're talking about people who know you as a bit of a party animal and who would then be surprised if you opted for a glass of orange juice.

That said if you feel awkward just declining without giving a reason just say you need to stay hydrated for the next day's ride and alcohol causes you issues with dehydration. For all I enjoy a beer as much as the next guy if I've been on the bike all day the most I'll ever have is one and I'll only have one beer if it's been a relatively leisurely ride because otherwise I genuinely do have issues making sure I'm adequately hydrated.

Northwestrider

I turn down drinks frequently, It's just not a problem. Keep it up.

DCwom

I don't drink, and I've never had an issue declining a drink, if someone thinks its rude that I decline, well, honestly that's their problem. I think its rude for someone to insist that I do drink with them when I don't want to. Given the situation, if offered a drink I either decline or ask if they has a soda. In my age group there are plenty of recovering folks that decline drinks and opt for a soda.

mm718

It's perfectly fine to decline and deserves no explanation. Usually the offer of a beer is also a social invitation so you can decline the beer and except the invite.

I don't think it will come up that often but when it does look at it as opportunity to get comfortable saying "no thanks." All a part of your sobriety... It will get easier and more matter of fact the more you do it.

imi

Lots of good advice above. Kindof related in a way is being vegan. Many a time I've turned down friendly offers of food with a big "thank you, but I'm a vegan (don't drink)" and a smile is all it takes. Don't believe I've ever insulted anyone

indyfabz

+1. I crossed the country with a group of 12 others and then rode home solo. We had several people (including myself) who drank regularly--both in camp and in bars. Between that trip and another month+ trip out west, I can count on one hand the number of times I was offered free alcohol.

During a seven week tour of Andalucia, a bar tender gave me one free bourbon as thanks for giving her the opportunity to practice her English, and a campground manager gave me a bottle of wine when I told her I had ridden over some long mountain pass that day. That's it.

I don't think anyone is going to get upset if you simply decline or say "Thanks, but I don't drink," unless, maybe, you encounter a bad drunk. The chances of that seem slim since I assume you won't be hanging out in bars.

As Western Flyer suggests, you are more likely to be offered food than alcohol. Like him, I think I may have gotten more food offers than alcohol offers. Got half a home baked pie once. It was my experience that having a small tent increases the symathy factor.

DocsDad

Congrats on sobriety. Don't worry about it. A simple "no-thank you" will do fine. Have a great tour.

staehpj1

Yes, I think you are. On all my tours there have only been a few times I was offered alcohol and that was usually in camp with other cyclists. In all cases it would never have been awkward to just say, "Thanks, but I don't drink".

GeorgeBaby

As others have said -- at least here in the US, a simple "no thanks" is fine. I haven't had to justify it at all. And as jamawani says, hitting a meeting while on the road can be a lot of fun, and strengthening, too.

fietsbob

OTOH, touring Ireland, and being a Musician, sitting in at Pub Sessions was fun.. you do what suits yourself.

all things in moderation, including moderation.

Burton

In most cases people are just being hospitable. So its OK to refuse the alcohol - just don't refuse the hospitality. "No thanks, but I could really use a glass of (water, juice etc) if you have any!" still opens the doors to conversation and thats what most hospitality is based around.

LeeG

It's ok, heads are where a lot of problems reside, riding is a great way to get out of your head. One of the things that heavy alcohol use delays in growing up is figuring out what head trips are yours and what head trips are someone else's. So if you're getting used to being a non-drinker amongst peers you might think that is an issue they have also, when it's probably not even on their radar. Keep on truckin'.

shipwreck

Every once in a while someone will offer a beer or glass of wine at a campground. But the best way not to come off as rude in declining it is to politely decline it. If you can hang on for a few years it gets easier to just say no without feeling compeled to explain why... Truth is if you just grin and say no thanks, act matter of fact about it and not like its any deal at all there is seldom a problem.

Honestly I once did have some drunk Australians get very upset that I would not drink any wine with them(they were next to me at a campground in a RV). I was able to deal with the jibes by being more entertained at how stupid they were acting and being glad that I was not in the same state.

Sometimes there will be no place to eat but a bar and grill. if your feeling shaky get it to go, eat your last power bar or go on hungry, or else suffer through a burger and leave. I did all these things at one time or another in the first days. I actualy started touring three months after my last drink, as something to do.

If you have a cell phone, try to keep some numbers of people who are supportive. Keep a charge on the phone.

And don't worry about touring overseas untill its time to think about touring overseas.

Cougrrcj

Only once did I have anything alcoholic to drink when riding. While on my minimalist solo tour back in August of 1980, I once stopped at a corner bar since it was the only place to get anything to eat/drink in the middle of farm country... I was taking back roads and avoiding the 'normal' highways where the towns were.

The bartender and only other patron couldn't believe that I had ridden sixty miles already that day, and had another thirty or so to go before stopping for the night.

This was around one in the afternoon on a 90+ degree day in south central Wisconsin. They said I looked overheated as I sat there in front of the fan. I didn't feel the heat while I was riding, but I sure did when I was sitting still! The bartender slid a ice-cold draft down the bar to me before I could refuse. I ended up having two beers and a roast beef sandwich - actual 3/8" thick slabs of beef cut off a roast - as I told them of my journey thus far. When I told them that I started in Cleveland the week before, they were astounded!

When lunch was over and it came time to hit the road, I reached for my wallet. The barkeep said to just enjoy the rest of my ride. Nice folks there in Wisconsin! In that heat, I probably sweated those two beers off (and burned off the alcohol) within the first ten miles, LOL!

But anyway, as a general rule, I don't drink alcohol when touring. No diet pop either since those artificial sweeteners turn into formaldehyde in your system. Nothing carbonated either. Just water or lemonade, and maybe a sports drink. I feel sooooo good when I burn the accumulated crud out of my body.