brianinc-ville

So, you're unlocking your bike outside a shop and some (usually fat, often old) person steps out of their SUV, looks you up and down, and says "you be safe out there!"

Now, I'm all in favor of safety. Heck, I'm a LAB instructor. I use lots of lights, a helmet, a reflective vest, I check my brakes all the time...but this still annoys me, because the subtext is obviously "you're doing something crazy and unsafe and I don't approve!" But they're not coming out and saying what they really mean. So, what do you say back? I don't want to be a d**k, but I also don't want to reinforce their prejudices by accepting their statement uncritically. Ideally, I'd say something like "Thanks! I'm a bike safety instructor and I can show you how!" -- but that does kind of make it seem like bikes are for the trained and fanatical only.

I've started saying "Thanks! You be safe in there!", but I doubt they get it.

What's your line?

genec

Thanks, now watch for ALL the traffic out there.

DX-MAN

"I always am -- still here!"

Or, the one I started using last fall, for special occasions:

"Yeah, there's a LOTTA idiots out there!" with a meaningful look.

Digital_Cowboy

Why presume that they are assuming that you are engaged in a dangerous activity? My landlord is always telling me to be safe when he sees me take off. He also rides, but he's a fatherly type. I just simply remind him that no matter how safe I am if the other guy isn't, it's not really going to change anything. Maybe they are the sort who truly wish for everyone to be safe when out in public?

Yes, there are probably some out ther who subscribe to the line of thought that you are ascribing to all of the well wishers, but there are also some out there who realize that riding is just as valid an option as driving a car, or riding a motorcycle.

gitarzan

Just say, "Thank you, I will." They mean well, there's no need to take it as an insult.

travelmama

I get that crap all of the time. I can only be as safe as I see fit for me and my ride. I tell people that they need to watch out for me and drop the phones and text machines.

kludgefudge

Well, the person I get this from the most is my mom, and she is definitely worried that riding a bicycle on the roads is a dangerous activity as compared to driving. especially at night. I usually just reply with somthing about cycling at night not really being any more dangerous than day riding especially with good blinkys. She doesn't worry nearly at much, at least out loud, when I am travelling by car. Its shocking how afraid many people I know are about riding a bicycle on the street. Not so afraid of it that they don't think anyone should do it, but too afraid to do it themselves.

milkbaby

"Thank you!" It's not like that person is my friend looking for conversation... Same as when strangers who don't really care ask "How are you?" and the standard answer is "Fine."

sggoodri

I just say: "Thanks, you too!" in a happy voice.

randya

it's like they think they know something you don't know

closetbiker

"If you can manage to drive safe, I'll be safe"

gcottay

+1

oldbluebike

I used to be a biker of the Motorcycle kind. That is not an uncommon thing for one biker to say to another. I have not heard it in the bicycle arena but probably would not think much about it.

brianinc-ville

Yeah, see, I don't actually think they do mean well. I mean, some people surely do, but those aren't the people I'm talking about. The fact that so many people here recognized what I was talking about suggests to me that I'm not just imagining this stuff. It's the same kind of passive-aggressive tone members of majorities always use toward minorities who threaten them. I'd like to get past this us vs. them stuff (and I realize I didn't do a very good job of that with the fat/old/SUV comments above...safety rule #1: cool down before you touch a computer. Sorry.), but I'm not sure what the best way to open their minds might be. I like DX-MAN's suggestions, though -- depending on the exact modulation of the "meaningful look," that could do a lot.

vettefrc2000

Thank you.

iforgotmename

My wife tells me to be careful all the time. I tell her noit's our inside joke. In my opinion most people would be afraid to ride in traffic. Maybe that is the reason for the be safe comment. No one other than someone who knows and cares about my safety has told me to be safe. It is also a common salutation in the construction trades and to that I never take offense.

AlmostTrick

Yep, and it's these folks that I like to try to enlighten. Last night I had a young lady in our office give me the "be safe" line, given with a tone of grave concern. I explained how many times I’ve safely completed my commute, and that sometimes even people in cars get killed. This morning she asked how the ride was and said I see that you made it!

Since she seemed genuinely concerned for my safety, I sent her a well thought out email thanking her for her concern and explained the many precautions I take, and how I spent time researching how to stay safe in traffic. I even included a link to the bikesafe web site.

I didn't receive a reply before I left so maybe now she's certain that I'm a nut!

bhop

My coworkers tell me 'ride safe' all the time when I leave. I always tell them 'drive safe' back. No big deal.. I don't think they're looking down on me in any way, just concerned friends. L.A. can be dangerous for bicycles, but the same goes for other vehicles too. Just the other day I saw a motorcycle get hit in front of me by a u-turner.. he was ok, but his bike was wrecked.

ro-monster

Yes! "Ride safe!" is a common way to say goodbye to another motorcyclist. Riders don't say that to be patronizing, they're just wishing you a happy and uneventful ride. So if someone says it to me when I'm on my bicycle I just say, "You too!" I sometimes say "Drive safe!" to friends getting into their cars; I don't see how it's different from that.

tran_man

If someone tells you something like "be safe out there" what's wrong with just saying thanks or ignoring them? The hard thing to understand is taking any type of insult to a simple statement. So what if you have all the training in the world or are an instructor of whatever? How about some training in just common courtesy? This thread OBVIOUSLY means "I am so great because I ride my bicycle and people shouldn't wish me well so I go onto a forum to complain about it." Just come out and tell everyone why you really posted. Like many have already pointed out, a simple "thank you" should suffice. If you want to read I to it, do it on your ride to wherever you're going.

I tell people to be safe all the time. It's like saying, "nice bike!" but to you it would probably mean "I think what you are doing is dangerous and I want your bicycle to get smashed by an SUV."

cudak888 

^
A&S newbie about to meet A&S meat grinder.

-Kurt

ItsJustMe

I think it's safe to make that assumption, given that I get this line a lot when I'm getting on my bike, but I have NEVER heard "have a safe drive home" when I was getting into my car.

I just say "Thanks, you too"

gcottay

As you know, your evaluation of the well wishers as motivated by some sort of hidden hostility exists only in your head. In any event, your response is controlled not others but by you. I suggest responding in a way that not only reflects the person you are but also the one you would like to become.

For me that means something like, "Thank you. Have a fine day yourself."

For you, that might mean having cards ready with details of your next LAB course.

ghettocruiser

Seriously? I say that to people all the time. They never look weirded-out.

Kotts

And even if they mean it as an insult, there's no upside in being insulted, and no downside as taking it as genuine concern.