jbarros

Ok, I know in a real crisis, we're all too busy trying to keep ourselves and as a distant second our bikes in one piece.

That being said, I pride myself on civility, even when dealing with people trying to hurt me.

I'm new to commuting, and hadn't had too many close calls.

The other day I'm blasting down the road at 25+mph hoping against hope to make my train, when someone left turns, not infront of me mind you, but INTO me, slamming on their brakes at the last instant and missing me by about 4, 5 inches max.

The right thing to do: Keep both hands on the bars, stay in control, and depending on if time allows stop and talk.

what I did: One hand off the bars, flip them the bird, kick their bumper, and back to top speed without losing 2 mph in the whole process.

This is hardly being an ambassador for cycling, and I severely doubt it did anything to help reinforce in this guys mind that maybe running over cyclists is a bad thing.

That being said, by the time I realized what happened, I was already a block down the road. There was literally NO time to think about what to do.

In Marital arts, we spend time on the mat to build up a correct reflex in muscle memory. I think I'd like to avoid "building up" the right reflex to almost getting run down.

How do you train yourself to avoid road rage?

Thanks.


-- James

DXchulo

Practice, I guess. If you want to get comfortable at high speeds, you can get your wife on a moped and do some motorpacing. To apply the same principles to controlling road rage, you simply get your wife to get in a car and have her follow you around doing all kinds of dumb crap like yelling at you to get on the sidewalk, passing you too closely, pulling in front of you and turning, etc. You'll be able to calmly brush these situations off in no time.

In all seriousness, sometimes anger just takes over. I'm not sure how you train a natural reflex. Maybe the best thing to do is to take notice of the times when people do things that only slightly annoy you and try some deep breathing or something like that. Maybe learning to ignore the small annoyances can make a big difference.

Allister

I think eventually you just get bored with it.

Zero_Enigma

https://www.ak-47.net Does not even have to be a working model. Keepi riding with that on the back and you'll avoid 99.999% of road rage. Part serious, Part comic relief on this solution.

Jerseysbest

For me its hard to avoid rage when I'm in rush to get somewhere, either on bike or in my car. Its almost instinct. All other times I can just sit back and not care, cause really, I don't.

I had a van pull out in front of me once, in the middle of the day, when I was right in the middle of the lane. I had to slam on my brakes, and as he was pulling out (going the other way), I slammed my hand against the side of his van as I passed behind it. If he didn't know I was there, he knew then because of the loud bang I made, if he did know, he deserved it.

lil brown bat

When you're surprised and scared, anger is a natural reaction. I don't yell, "****head!" at drivers as a conscious action, but I have been known to yell, "****head!" while in the midst of an evasive maneuver. Your anger reaction might be different, but if yoy're surprised and scared, that's how you will react. So, I guess the only way to avoid reacting in anger is to avoid being surprised and scared. Learn to see it coming. When someone does the exact same stunt, but I see it coming (and therefore am not threatened), my response is to say, "Excuse me, what are you doing?", or if they're stopped at a light, something like, "It won't kill you to use your turn signal...but it might kill me if you don't."

Bikepacker67

I'm terrible at avoiding conflict.
Someone F's with me, and I turn into a class A wiseass.

I think I'm the Dennis Leary of Bicycle Commuting.

mtnwalker

I know its hard to do and I can't say I always do it but situational awareness goes a long way. In other words I try to keep an eye out for idiots and anticipate them before their idiocity affects me.

The same exact thing actually happened to me on my way tonight. I was in the central turn lane 20 yards away from my left turn. I looked at the parking lot to the right and noticed the idiot in an SUV wanting to make his own left and looking to the right. He looked at my direction so I know he saw me. But I slowed down anyway because he was doing the bobble thing with his head looking to the right and left. And as expected he zooms into the central lane into me! He missed me by 5 feet and I yelled "IDIOT!" towards his open window.

Flimflam

I try to do the same, I'm a very calm/easy going guy - but at an instant I can go from calm to massive amounts of rage depending on situation and the level of danger/lack of care for my life that I witness/experience.

After lots of stuff happening, you tend to build a thicker skin with it, but there's still some stuff that gets to me. I had it out with a cabbie the other day for driving what I would consider recklessly because he was gabbing on his cell phone. (#1164 Maple Leaf, blue/white cab - I won't forget). I got really pissed at this guy, then once it was done and I'd said my piece, I left the issue where I left the road, behind me.

Mostly everything washes off after a few pedal strokes, one time I got shook up by a *very* close call and I had a few choice words with the guy, though I think the reason it scared me so much was because it made me realise I was partially responsible in this case - he argued I shouldn't filter on the right, because he "didn't see me" - I know this was BS (I was alongside his car for a good while before he tried to change lanes through me), but he was right - I shouldn't have filtered technically.

I guess my bottom line is: don't let so much bother you/get to you. Once you get more experience on the roads (and mine builds each and every day - commuting has taught me way more about riding than any of my previous ~20 years since childhood) you get to learn what you consider worth yelling a quick "**** off" about, or what you consider getting off the bike and talking with someone, or otherwise having a more involved reaction. I curse like a sailor at anyone and anything momentarily on the road - most of it is for my own benefit.

Bikepacker67

I really do wish I could be Gandhi on a bike, and just let human assholishness roll off my back like a morning mist.

But I just ain't built that way.

Treespeed

The problem for me is that I'm a sucker for a genuine apology. I find that you get a lot more respect when you are calm when someone is freaking out, more often than not I end up getting an apology. For the rare ones that are honking or yelling I just look at them without reacting to kind of reinforce how crazy they are acting. The one's who have stopped to yell, I will point out that they seem angry and ask if they need a hug.
It's a little corny but I'm not going to let someone control if I'm mad or not. It's so much nicer to just let it go.

Bikepacker67

Did I say Gandhi on a bike?

I meant Treespeed on a bike.

allan_dunlop

I consider myself fortunate (?!) to have many chances to practice.

My training regimen starts out with several reps of 'smile and nod'. I like to work up flexibility with a few friendly waves.

When I'm really limbered up, I'll get to smiling, nodding, waving and saying cheerily under my breath "where'd you get your license--from a Cracker Jack box?"

Allan

Bekologist

there should be a club. I'm no shrinking violet.

Sometimes, in congested city traffic, I chase them down and harass THEM.

jbarros

Hrm, good idea, my 30-06 would be too long to be comfortable, and I don't want to damage the optics.

Think If I rode with a Bowtech Tomkat compound bow on my back that would work instead? I've already got one of those.



-- James

ChipSeal

Just be prepared with what you want to say. I have my "speech", my message, and what I wish to convey in my mind now. It is thought out and practiced in the comfort and peacefulness of my home. I have variations of what to say of differing lengths to fit into time constraints imposed on me by traffic situations. My "answer" is ready at hand.

Flipping the bird and wisecracks are appropriate for some situations (like a car of young males being irresponsible), but ambassadorship takes effort, discipline and an understanding that short term emotional satisfaction is the least likely way to advance our goals.

Az B

Ok, I read "marital" and that sentence was really funny.

Az

truman

Step One: Leave earlier. The piddly stuff* matters less if you're not in such a hurry.





*Stuff where the pain is the result of feeling "dissed"

CliftonGK1

I try my best to let things slide. If it's just someone yelling at me, I've finally gotten to the point where I can ignore them and not yell back. If it's a close call, I might let fly with a middle finger and a "Look out, moron!" If it's someone intentionally screwing with me; edging over into the bike lane, purposefully turning in front of me, etc. then I start kicking. It's tough to suppress that spirit of Spiro Bikopoulis buried deep down when someone does something intentional to harm me.

turtle77

Quick little story:

I have been car-free for several years, but my GF just recently got one, and she usually likes me to drive if we go anywhere. One night, we were going out and we picked up some friends of ours. As I was pulling out of their driveway (they live in an apartment building in the city with a parking lot and a driveway) some guy on a BMX comes flying down the sidewalk, seemingly out of nowhere, and almost runs right into the side of the front of the car. He kind of wipes out because of it, but he basically catches himself. Now, there was absolutely no way I could see him because there's a large fence that blocks the view of the sidewalk from the driveway. This is a little dangerous, but a pedestrian would have ample time to see a car coming out of the driveway and react... a cyclist riding over 10 mph (he was) would definitely not have ample time to react. I should also state that I wasn't driving at an unsafe speed (maybe 5 mph, if that). I was just pulling up toward the end of the driveway to get prepared to pull into traffic.

Anyway, he JUST TOTALLY RIPS INTO ME with a barrage of every possible combination of swearing cussing and cursing you can imagine. I was pretty convinced that he was going to try to kick my ---. The very first thing I say is "Dude, I'm sooo sorry. I'm so sorry, man. Are you okay?" And while I'm saying this he's still swearing at me, but I can tell he's cooling off a little. The weird thing was that after this initial exchange, he just stood there, waiting, looking like he was deciding how he wanted to handle the situation. He seems confused because I think he wants to fight me ("Should I kick his ---?") but I'm being just so darn nice, and taking all the blame. So then, more waiting. I just keep apologizing (while wondering what he's going to do, because he won't leave). Then someone calls his cell and he answers "What's up? Yeah, I'm in Uptown. Some ******** f---'in a--hole just almost hit me." Then he says it again, louder, while staring at me. At that point I figure it's okay and I just drive away.

As we're driving away, my friend says that he thought that the guy was just looking for a fight and we were just giving him an excuse. At the time I agreed, but now I think that it was more just the heat of the moment. There have been plenty of times where I have had some serious road rage at drivers while on my bike. I'm usually a passive person, but the second my well being gets threatened, the animal comes out, and especially so with drivers. I'm pretty sure that this is the reason that guy reacted the way he did. He may have generally been a pretty nice guy (who knows?) but he was not so nice then. Like you, jbarros, (and maybe like this guy), and I'm sure many others, I have overreacted while in the moment and then felt bad about it afterward. But even though his reaction had really made me kind of mad, because I definitely didn't think that I did anything wrong (if nothing else, it is actually illegal to ride your bike on the sidewalk in that area, not to mention, he almost hit me not the other way around) I really didn't want to argue and have it escalate simply to prove that I was the one who was right in the situation. I was also feeling very empathetic (I wanted to be like "Dude, I hate it when cars almost hit me on my bike TOO!!!) but obviously, that wouldn't fly.

Anyway, just wanted to share.

mtnwalker

Sorry but this fool has absolutely no right to get mad at you. He is riding on the sidewalk at a very unsafe speed. If he got creamed that is entirely his fault. I don't mind people riding on sidewalks. Its the morons who think sidewalks are meant for 10+ mph speeds is the problem.

Mr. Underbridge

Here's the problem - you're going for the ambassador job when you're clearly suited for Secretary of Defense. If I managed what you did, I'd feel pretty good about the whole thing.

zoltani

+1

I used to get all pissed off, screaming, kicking, flipping the bird, whatever. All of us here commute because of different reasons, but i think we can all say that part of it is the fun factor. When i get pissed it ruins my fun, of course a car slamming into you will do that also, but why get all bothered when you don't have to? If a car makes a right in front of me or runs a stop sign (happened yesterday) i try to attribute it to the driver being oblivious, they are not intentionally trying to hit me, most of the time. If i am in the bike lane and a car starts to drift towards me, pushing me into the parked cars or curb, i just give a light slap on their side panel or whatever with my palm to let them know i am there. Usually the driver sees me then and waves apologetically, looking really embarrassed. I even had one guy that caught up with me after i did this at the next stop and said "I'm sorry, was i too close to you back there?"


I ride my bike to reduce the stress i feel while driving, so i want to just remain calm and have fun on my bike, but if someone maliciously tries to hurt me then i probably wouldn't be able to control myself.

CastIron

Until physical contact is made, I simply refuse to engage. Nobody has a roadside epiphany, so why waste time picking a fight? Dismiss the fool and move on.

SSP

So, what lesson have you just taught Mr. Stupid-on-the-Sidewalk?

I would have asked him if he was all right, but definitely *not* apologized to him. And if he insulted me in front of my GF and friends, I'd have answered back in kind, and told him he was an idiot for riding like that on a sidewalk in the first place.

Criminy, there were 4 of you and one of him, and you let him insult you and call you names like that?

No offense, but...grow a pair.


FWIW, in that situation if I saw the "cyclist" was OK, I'd have just kept driving. In my experience, wrong-way and sidewalk cyclists are generally too stupid to bother with trying to educate.