Zeuser

EDIT: THIS IS A HOAX!!!

So I'm riding along on Burnhamthorpe. This stupid fat lady driving a purple escort does a right hand turn from a sidestreet onto Burnhamthorpe without looking and I almost run into her. I start wailing at her with my 100db electric horn. No effect, she's just in her own world.

She moves over to the left hand lane. We both get to the next set of lights. I take off and she does too. But now she has to move to the right hand lane. So she slows down leaving all the cars running past me go ahead of her and myself included. She then moves to the right lane behind me.

She's tailing me really close and starts honking at me. WTF? She passes me with her right side window open and starts yelling some nonesense at me. Sounded like polish or some type of east euro accent. Couldn't make out what she said.

She then proceeds to pull over in front of me and slows down. So now she's driving so slow, she's making me slow down. Without using her turn signal she suddenly turns right into the wal*mart very slowly. I think she was trying to provoke me into running into her or something like that but I didn't bite.

Anyway, I'm furious at this point. I turn right at the next entrance to the mall. I remembered her licence plate (not mentioning here for liability reasons). I see her car from afar. She's already out and walking towards the wal*mart.

I move in, yup... it's her car. I proceed with the "revenge". Actually, I think I'm doing the world a favor here!

I park my bike, go into the top bag rear pocket and pull out my valve removal tool (simply a valve plug) like this:



I pull the valves from all 4 of her tires. Damn loud whistling noise when the air comes out. I pull out some electrical tape I have in the rear pocket of my top bag and tape her 4 valves to her driver's window and leave.

There you go. No more driving for her today. 4 flat tires.

My message is simple: "If you can't share the road, you don't belong on it. I just hope you learn this lesson before you kill someone!"

EDIT: I'm leaving the original sotry here so people can read what the original hoax was.

REPEAT: IT'S A HOAX!

Kurt Erlenbach

You are a criminal and should go to jail.

Zeuser

Why? I didn't steal anything. I even gave her her own valves back. LOL

GoldIngot

While I can understand your frustration, you just made it much worse for the next cyclist she comes across. She's going to remember the 4 flats and want to get her revenge.

zeytoun

A story about 2 a**holes: the rude lady driver, and the criminal vandal OP.

Kurt Erlenbach

Damaging property is a crime. Removing the valve stem from a tire constitutes damage to the tire. It is especially true because you intended to cause damage to the tire.

GoldIngot

Right on. At least she had the balls to be direct.

Zeuser

Well at least I'm not going to get revenge on the next 10 cars I randomly see. I just targeted the one who deserves what she got.

I doubt she'll even associate it with bikes anyway. It's not like I left a calling card.

Zeuser

Barely. I've had flats before, pump up the tires again and all was well.

The only damage would be if she drives away with 4 flat tires.

Zeuser

Brains vs. balls. I'll take brains!

zeytoun

The brains part is debatable. But I agree with you on the lack of balls part.

Zeuser

You're right. I should've just got into a pissing match with her and provoke some road rage incident on the spot and endangered a whole lot of innocent bystandards at the same time.

At least what I did is only affecting her and she won't be a danger to any other cyclist, pedestrian or other car for a while.

fordfasterr

good on you OP !!

You are my bike-revenge-hero !!!

zeytoun

False dichotomies are a biproduct of our reptilian brains.

You have a myriad options to choose from.

Here were a few alternatives:

- ignore it and be on your way
- leave a note on her car
- call the cops
- stop and attempt a reasonable discussion
- give her a card with the appropriate bicycle laws, or put it on her car
- find her address and send her a letter
- take a picture of her and the car license, and tell her you're reporting her to the cops
- let the air out of her tires (at least you wouldn't have caused permanent damage)
- etc

Someone interested in "doing the world a favor" wouldn't engage in pointless vandalism. You just made the world a little worse, for the sake of a little revenge pleasure.

stiggs

ah another stupid driver on the road, kinda funny what you did, but stupid people will remain stupid people - try driving in Los Angeles

Road Bike Guy

You had a right to be upset with her and her driving...But you had absolutely no right to do what you did. End of story.

It's people like you that give all cyclists a bad name.

bikesafer

So let's see if I got this right she made you slow down and take some evasive action and yelled at you so you caused hundreds of dollars damage to her car?

The second person who posted is right you are a criminal and you should go to jail. You give all cyclists a bad name. What's worse is that she probably didn't even make the connection that you the cyclist did it.

rbart4506

Personally I thought it was quite funny...

He said he gave her the valves back...So all she needs to do is pump the tires back up....

BTW idiot drivers like that don't listen to reason, as in what the laws are. Report her to the cops, yea they are going to do something.

All I know is the story made me smile....

Zeuser

Actually, I did do the world a favor.

And it seems that you think I did permanent damage to her tires. Read it again... no I didn't! I let the air out of her tires by removing her valves. Those valves are screwed it. You can pretty much screw them back in by hand. I was even nice enough to give her her valves back where she can't mis them, in her driver's window.

Zeuser

ARE YOU PEOPLE JUST STUPID OR YOU CAN'T READ?

I let the air out of her tires by removing the valves and then taping her valves back onto her driver's window. Those valves are screwed in. There's no damage to the tires!!!!

Damn some people need to learn how to read!

Jerseysbest

Although I completely understand where you're coming from, and have contemplated doing the same exact thing to someone's car, as a third party is easy to say that what you did was wrong. A note on the windshield would have been more effective, and if she is the type of person where it wasn't, deflating her tires wouldn't be either.

And I should note, a stem core remover in a cordless drill works a lot faster, not that I know...

Camilo

Hey, I did the same sort of silly things when I was a teenager (pointless "revenge"). He'll laugh at himself when he gets older and looks back on it.

drafters65

but he did let the air out without causing permanent damage. +1 to OP i wouldve done the same and you were being kind by giving her back her valves...you couldve slashed her tires which would require her to tow her car and buy 4 new tires.

st0ut

Hummmm she uses her car as a weapon and yet all the blames goes out to the cycelist?

Good on him.

+1 for the good guys as far as i am concerned.

Police are pointless in this case. The motorist atempted to get road rage and succeeded. Oppp be carfeul what you ask for you just might get it.

drafters65

i dont think the people that thought you did permanent damage to the tire would know how to change a flat on a car if they had one.